My child’s teacher told her I was a Chump

[ChumpyChumpster]

Little bit of a back story…

I recently complained to the school for a lack of information about an upcoming event my daughter was attending. I had tried unsuccessfully for 4 weeks to contact the school for more information (various unanswered emails and phone call requests). My daughter had wanted to pull out of the event because she wasn’t sure what exactly was expected of her and I hadn’t been able to find out.
School responded quickly to my complaint, information was given, daughter reassured. I shouldn’t have had to complain to get a result but I was happy with how it was dealt with and made sure everyone involved was aware it was settled and thanked them for their help.
This is the only time I have ever complained to the school.

Today, one day after the event my daughter was really out of sorts after school. After a couple of hours home she told me she was upset because one of her teachers had called me a Chump.
She didn’t really know what it was but knew it was meant to be mean.
The whole class had been discussing parents not always getting info and poor school comms, my daughter said I had recently not got info I’d asked for.
The teacher said mostly it was because parents didn’t bother to read the emails, she said she could prove it and later interrupted my daughter working with her friend to show her an email log showing I had received an email (not the missing email answering my specific question, a whole school email that’s not relevant to my complaint) but had not opened it. According to my daughter she said
’Your Dad opened it, your Mum didn’t… because your Mum is a Chump’

It sounds like a ridiculous thing for the teacher to say. She does have form for speaking ‘freely’ in front of the kids, they call her by her first name and she is pretty informal. I do believe she said it. Context may be different to what my daughter says but I think unlikely. Daughter was upset and was worried sharing it with me would hurt my feelings.

The event my daughter attended could mean she gets extra lessons in a subject she loves, if the teachers think it would be of benefit. She would love the extra lessons.

Im really angry she basically told my daughter I’m an idiot. Should I complain again? I’m worried it may have a negative effect on my daughter’s chances for the benefits on offer and it could make her lessons with this teacher uncomfortable. The teacher clearly can’t hide her feelings!

My daughter is 10yrs old. This teacher teaches a special subject and she would likely have her for quite some time.

YABU - Let it slide
YANBU - Let rip

I would focus on how your daughter feels about that teacher, will what was said put your daughter on edge in future lessons?

If so, then deal with it via school by asking to talk to this teacher, to clarify what was said and how it made DD feel.

If your DD isn't bothered and it won't affect her enjoyment of the future lessons, I'd let it go.

What will your complaint cover, what do you want it to achieve?

Chump is a very mild (and even affectionate) word. I'd leave it as I think teachers have enough on their hands without having to placate teachers (although I agree it was a silly thing to say).

I feel a bit sorry for teachers when I look at our school parental WhatsApp group where parents take umbrage at every little thing. (And don't read their emails from school). My parents attended parents' evening and that was pretty much their only direct contact with school.

My DD had to be aware because she needed information to prepare for the event and we did not have it. I only got the info after I complained. DD is not aware I complained.
I’ve never made a complaint before, usually my relationship with school is excellent. Positive infrequent interactions and I’m always respectful of the staff.

I am going to let it slide. This was a blip in an otherwise happy relationship with school.

*placate parents

IME, there would be no reason for a child to say something like this without foundation. There are loads of bad (and good) teachers out there, teachers who run their mouths and are not bothered about who’s listening… I’d complain, but be prepared for the school to close ranks around their precious staff member and do nothing. I can well believe the comms issue too - our school comms are simply dire, either five incorrect emails about something irrelevant or zero info about the most important dates that term, eg when the school residential actually takes place. It’s also not always easy picking a battle with the school, even if you are right. There shouldn’t be reprisals, but there will be.

As another PP has mentioned Mailchimp (not Chump) is software used for sending out group emails. Check whether the school use it before steaming in and looking a chump 😉

Yes let it slide.
The teacher is obviously a bit mental and definitely pathetic to show your daughter an email thread in this context. (I'm an ex-teacher and lots of teacher friends so I'm not teacher bashing for the sake of it).

If teachers are unable to accept criticism when they have behaved incorrectly to the extent that they leave the profession then they are likely unfit for any profession.

I would guess that what happened was your daughter said “mum didn’t receive an email about x event so didn’t know what was happening until the last minute”

Teacher thought “oh dear, Mrs Chumpster isn’t receiving email properly, I will check on the system that it has sent”

She then saw it had sent but not been opened and assumed (I understand from the OP, incorrectly) that was why you didn’t have the information you wanted.

Maybe then trying to encourage you to read your emails so it didn’t happen in future she flagged up to DD that that was why you hadn’t got the info.

While not super professional, chump is something I might use to a younger child if their parent sent them with the wrong childs PE kit, or if they put their jumper on backwards so I wouldn’t consider it offensive. Though in your case I think it’s fair to feel mischaracterised as actually you not reading that email wasn’t what led to you not having the information you needed.

I don't think id let it slide if I thought a teacher was "a bit mental". What an awful thing to write.

I haven't seen any comment about how the teacher was using the time she is engaged for in the school. She is paid for teaching the children not for rummaging about in the email system. (Unless she is engaged for ICT)

OP said that she later interrupted DD while she was working with a friend so she had clearly set them a task.

I'm not one for letting it rip but that's terrible. The problem is she said it Infront of other pupils which could lead to teasing. And speaking in a derogatory way about a pupils parent to the child and in front of others is inexcusable. Clearly, teachers probably slag off parents to each other and in private but to do so the way she possibly has? Not on.

It sounds like she was the one being ignorant to you, got moaned at by the SLT, so is salty about it

I would casually raise it and say her conduct is questionable. For starters asking pupils to call her by her first name just sounds wrong. Is she young or NQT? I think she needs some further basic training.

I always perceived chump as an affectionate term for doing something a bit daft. Not as nasty.

@maddening - seriously? Can't take a bit of criticism?

Listen to some of the teachers who are maybe teaching multiple classes so have contact with hundreds of children every week whose parents all think that they should pulled up for what they may or may not have said to DS1 or DS2.

The hundreds of emails about the subject, the homework, the way it's taught, how it's too difficult or too easy for little DS. The questions, the "raised concerns", the "formal complaints", the "Then I shall escalate it" when told that it didn't quite happen as DD said it did. The "I'd like this investigated" (like it's a bloody murder and the school is the cast of Line of Duty). Then the "I'll speak to head, write to the governors, involve my MP".

The time and resources and energy and stress involved is huge. And it's relentless.
It's not criticism - there's enough of that from management or Ofsted. It's like working in a police state where every single thing you do and say is reported back.

Teachers are leaving in droves and our kids are missing out because of it.

(And no I am not a teacher. You couldn't pay me enough)

Me too. It's harmless and silly to make it an issue

That does all sound awful. Still probably best to avoid further aggro by avoiding calling parents ‘chumps’ to their kids though.

The teacher needs a lesson in GDPR. She shouldn’t be showing off who had and hadn’t read stuff.

How does that breach GDPR?

I’d wait for the very last parents’ evening of the year, be just lovely and then as you part say, ‘I was a bit disappointed to hear you called me a chump a while back but glad we could still get on.’

It does, doesn't it?! Long day!

When DC were in bed, there were a few words about DC1's teacher telling our DC1 he's a 'weirdo'.

I'm sleep deprived and can't be certain it makes any more sense!