My child’s teacher told her I was a Chump

[ChumpyChumpster]

Little bit of a back story…

I recently complained to the school for a lack of information about an upcoming event my daughter was attending. I had tried unsuccessfully for 4 weeks to contact the school for more information (various unanswered emails and phone call requests). My daughter had wanted to pull out of the event because she wasn’t sure what exactly was expected of her and I hadn’t been able to find out.
School responded quickly to my complaint, information was given, daughter reassured. I shouldn’t have had to complain to get a result but I was happy with how it was dealt with and made sure everyone involved was aware it was settled and thanked them for their help.
This is the only time I have ever complained to the school.

Today, one day after the event my daughter was really out of sorts after school. After a couple of hours home she told me she was upset because one of her teachers had called me a Chump.
She didn’t really know what it was but knew it was meant to be mean.
The whole class had been discussing parents not always getting info and poor school comms, my daughter said I had recently not got info I’d asked for.
The teacher said mostly it was because parents didn’t bother to read the emails, she said she could prove it and later interrupted my daughter working with her friend to show her an email log showing I had received an email (not the missing email answering my specific question, a whole school email that’s not relevant to my complaint) but had not opened it. According to my daughter she said
’Your Dad opened it, your Mum didn’t… because your Mum is a Chump’

It sounds like a ridiculous thing for the teacher to say. She does have form for speaking ‘freely’ in front of the kids, they call her by her first name and she is pretty informal. I do believe she said it. Context may be different to what my daughter says but I think unlikely. Daughter was upset and was worried sharing it with me would hurt my feelings.

The event my daughter attended could mean she gets extra lessons in a subject she loves, if the teachers think it would be of benefit. She would love the extra lessons.

Im really angry she basically told my daughter I’m an idiot. Should I complain again? I’m worried it may have a negative effect on my daughter’s chances for the benefits on offer and it could make her lessons with this teacher uncomfortable. The teacher clearly can’t hide her feelings!

My daughter is 10yrs old. This teacher teaches a special subject and she would likely have her for quite some time.

YABU - Let it slide
YANBU - Let rip

I’m guessing the daughter was privy to it as she was worried about not knowing arrangements, hence discussions on the mum saying she’s working on finding out. I think it’s ok for kids to see how adults navigate situations like this. There are chumps out there and different ways to manage them. And sometimes the chumper is in fact the chumpee. Not that last bit, but you get my gist 😆

There are some battles worth fighting, and this is not one of them. At least she didn't say you were a 'stupid bitch'.

Chump is used in Zog so a ten year old could have got it from there or another book.

Going to say YANBU just by calling you a chump alone. The bringing your child into the middle of the complaint is separate and you should also bring this up.

My DC's teacher recently said my DH was a weirdo for not liking something. He didn't say anything but when they were in bed he was annoyed to say the least.

I reluctantly voted a misleading YABU. The reason is that if you ‘let it rip’ I think your DD may well be the loser. Even some of the milder approaches suggested here might generate that outcome. For your DD’s sake I would suck this one up

This came across to me that your DH and DC’s teacher were in bed together and the teacher called your DH a weirdo for not liking something

So to put it simply read all correspondence from the school carefully so your life does not turn into coronation street

You may also wish to read all OPs carefully too

If this is true, then this teachers attitude stinks. The whole conversation was not appropriate for class. Maybe student council meeting, but even then, it should have been handled differently.

The language was disrespectful, and this is not the way to address it eoth a 10 year old. I would ask to speak to the head or deputy head about this as feedback and to smooth the air rather than a complaint. Your previous complaint was upheld, so don't rake that up. Speak to the head about the appropriateness of language, such discussions, and challenging a 10 year old about their parents' actions, not their own. And what can be done as it has upset your daughter, and you are concerned about the ongoing relationship between her and the teacher.

I agree. The teacher acted unprofessionally and you have every right to feel aggrieved.

However, some battles are just not worth fighting, and this is one of them.

I actually read your title and for two minutes sat in fits of laughter. Chump - pahaha I haven't heard that in years

Yanbu though. That teacher is such a <insert better word than chump

You could just have apologised for not reading the OP's post, missing the reference to a wooden spoon and generally being a bit of a chump. But I see you decided to double down instead

as a teacher I’d never dream of saying something like that, and if a colleague did I’d fully expect them to face some consequences. YANBU.

I agree, I thought the same.
Mention you weren't impressed with her language.

That teacher sounds a complete twat
Id go against the grain here and I would complain about it, how are kids meant to be respectful to their parents if people in authority are able to call parents names to their child’s face with no consequence.
And if she’s the type to punish your daughter for your complaint then she’s in the wrong job

Eh I'd leave it but I'm a coward. I'd have a big old chat with the kid about human nature, how people treat eachother, how people hate to be wrong and will double down, and how facts and information are valuable. But that nevertheless when people have been told off or challenged they can react in petty or strange ways. Good way to introduce the topic of critical thinking.

As a technical note, they will know who opened and read emails, any links that were clicked on etc as it will have been sent though a tool like mailchimp. Read receipts don't apply here and there's nothing you can do to stop the monitoring.

However. That does not mean the system is infallible. An email could have ended up in a spam filter and so unread. Or as you say, you had a good reason to not need to read it. I don't see how that makes anyone a chump.

I find it a bit petty that a teacher would go out of their way to log in to the system and check individual personal information about a specific parent and share it with a child. It feels almost verging on a breach of information privacy, to share that data in front of a class. I would consider complaining on that basis. It is odd that a part time teacher would have access to it? I'd want to be clear that I expect no repercussions for the teacher as they were having an (inappropriately grown up) debate. But that I'd like them to review their access to and use of this information to ensure it is appropriately held and managed.

I work in tech and have a reputation for taking small and specific details way too seriously though, so I'd need people with better... social skills to come along and advise you if this is OTT ridiculous:)

The whole class had been discussing parents not always getting info and poor school comms

How on earth did this happen? As paet of a lesson? Did your daughter initiate this?

I'm a teacher and would bet a lot of money that your dd was being cheeky about the lack of communication.

She refused to believe that an email had been sent, so the teacher proved that it had.

She said something like 'so why is my mum so annoyed then, she's really cross about it' and the teacher replied 'I don't know, maybe because she's a chump who doesn't read her emails.'

It was unprofessional. I wouldn't have done it or said it. You'd be perfectly justified in asking for an explanation. But don't go in all guns blazing because you'll feel like a dick when you hear the context, and there definitely will be some.

I wonder this. Looking at the National Curriculum there is literally no time for this kind of chat!

What lesson was it in ?

I'd let it go at school but tell DD her teacher was unprofessional to make nasty comments about parents.

I would let it go. Sounds like you missed the info on an email. I'd find that pretty frustrating if I was a teacher.

It's a very strange word for anyone to use unless they're 10 years old and reading things like the books 10 year olds read.
Just sayin'.

It seems so weird a teacher would spend class time (or any time) logging into the email software that they send communications from, then look up which individuals had read/not read an email. Especially as a lot of this goes from the office/admin team, not the individual teachers.

And if it was just a regular email sent from Outlook, you can't tell who has opened it/not.

Wow, often I think parents are being the ridiculous ones on these threads but that was too much. Very unprofessional!

It sounds like your child has multiple teachers and this is not the only teacher, teaching her nearly 100% of the time.

It's unprofessional. But I'd leave it as a complaint would most likely make the situation more uncomfortable for your child and this is not he only teacher. Explain to your child it's unkind and do ask them to let you know if it happens again, but say that you hope it won't (to reassure them). And thank your child for being so honest.

On the other hand, if it becomes a recurring problem then I'd think about acting on it, especially if your child might have that teacher again next year,