My child’s teacher told her I was a Chump

[ChumpyChumpster]

Little bit of a back story…

I recently complained to the school for a lack of information about an upcoming event my daughter was attending. I had tried unsuccessfully for 4 weeks to contact the school for more information (various unanswered emails and phone call requests). My daughter had wanted to pull out of the event because she wasn’t sure what exactly was expected of her and I hadn’t been able to find out.
School responded quickly to my complaint, information was given, daughter reassured. I shouldn’t have had to complain to get a result but I was happy with how it was dealt with and made sure everyone involved was aware it was settled and thanked them for their help.
This is the only time I have ever complained to the school.

Today, one day after the event my daughter was really out of sorts after school. After a couple of hours home she told me she was upset because one of her teachers had called me a Chump.
She didn’t really know what it was but knew it was meant to be mean.
The whole class had been discussing parents not always getting info and poor school comms, my daughter said I had recently not got info I’d asked for.
The teacher said mostly it was because parents didn’t bother to read the emails, she said she could prove it and later interrupted my daughter working with her friend to show her an email log showing I had received an email (not the missing email answering my specific question, a whole school email that’s not relevant to my complaint) but had not opened it. According to my daughter she said
’Your Dad opened it, your Mum didn’t… because your Mum is a Chump’

It sounds like a ridiculous thing for the teacher to say. She does have form for speaking ‘freely’ in front of the kids, they call her by her first name and she is pretty informal. I do believe she said it. Context may be different to what my daughter says but I think unlikely. Daughter was upset and was worried sharing it with me would hurt my feelings.

The event my daughter attended could mean she gets extra lessons in a subject she loves, if the teachers think it would be of benefit. She would love the extra lessons.

Im really angry she basically told my daughter I’m an idiot. Should I complain again? I’m worried it may have a negative effect on my daughter’s chances for the benefits on offer and it could make her lessons with this teacher uncomfortable. The teacher clearly can’t hide her feelings!

My daughter is 10yrs old. This teacher teaches a special subject and she would likely have her for quite some time.

YABU - Let it slide
YANBU - Let rip

Take it with a pinch of salt. My teacher DC had a call from a parent today, saying that her DD had complained that DC had accused her DM of neglect! She had done no such thing; it was part of a wider conversation and the child had picked it up and run with it.

Fortunately the DM was aware that the child did come home with tall stories.

YANBU.

The school needs to address a lot of issues there.

Seems a really odd lesson to be having in that much detail - surely at 10 the class is just told they need to make sure all school info is given to the parents - not a discussion?
Was it that particular teacher who didn't given you the info you needed?

Use this as an opportunity to teach your daughter how to complain/address an issue in the right way.

Let it slide. Probably a light hearted comment in the midst of a load of kids complaining about the school. Jokey, informal by a teacher who gets on well with the kids. I doubt it played out exactly like it sounded. By all means complain, talk to the head, get it investigated and reported back on. Time and money that could be better spent.

And if I were a specialist teacher in my 50's who was investigated for that it would be one more little push on the way to leaving the profession.

You've got to deal with it or you're teaching your child it's OK to bully someone!

I would ask to see the teacher with the head teacher be professional but assertive about it. The head won't know a thing. The teacher should shit herself, she's likely to be disciplined and she def needs to apologise to you with your daughter present. You will then need to watch this teacher with your daughter.

Ooooh, I'd be calling myself a chump laughingly every chance I got, just to take the sting out of it for my dd.

Chump isn't that bad, I grew up with both chump and clot as things my oarents would say when we had done something which we knew not to do - nothing serious, but like forgetting my prayerbook when going to church, or putting my shoes on the wrong feet, or just doing something silly and funny.

I never really thought about wither word as being rude or insulting. Mind you, I was a child of the 60s.

Where in her post did OP say her daughter stirs things??

Unless you're referring to the bit where the OP says 'It sounds like a ridiculous thing for the teacher to say. She does have form for speaking ‘freely’ in front of the kids, they call her by her first name and she is pretty informal.'

OP is referring to the teacher having form, not her daughter.

People who skim read posts and then comment really annoy me. Read the OP!

I’m a teacher and I suggest you speak to the teacher, in private, and say you’re concerned about something your child has told you.

I wouldn’t escalate it just yet. See how the teacher responds. If she apologies, fine. If she’s arsey get arsey back and take it further.

*apologises

This is ironic, given if you read the OP fully, you will have your answer 😀

Wait until the next parent teacher meeting and introduce yourself as Mrs Chump. Take the upper hand and kill her with kindness as another poster suggested.

Um, how would they know if you’d opened the email or not? Unless they request a read receipt for every school communication, which I doubt.

. I don’t doubt my daughter was having a good stir with her wooden spoon. Said the op at 23.10 😂

She shouldn't have said that to your child, I can see how it would have made her feel awkward and upset.

But the world 'chump' did make me laugh, as I haven't heard it in over 2 decades.

Does she think she's Enid Blyton? 😂😂

*word

If you have her email address I would be tempted to address it that way.

I’d politely say, that your daughter passed on the information she’d shown her, during class, regarding emails the school had sent her parents, and the details on which parent had opened them. I’d point out that you already had the information in the one that your husband read on behalf of the family, and which didn’t cover the missing information. It was later resolved by XXX and so not making you a chump, however pleasingly retro a mild insult that might be! Or just sign off as Mrs Chump.

Also - I really hate the whole tracking of who has opened an email(in general), it feels intrusive.

For starters how does teacher not know that you read the email over your husband’s shoulder?
Or is she trusting a read receipt that you may have turned off?

I would also use the opportunity to teach my daughter to take things with a pinch of salt, take it in the sprit it was meant and get on with enjoying her lessons. She's clearly bright, loves learning, wants to do more lessons in this specialist subject - with this teacher.... that's great. Fly with that

I love the suggestion of signing off a polite email as Mrs Chump. Do it!

You are not unreasonable in your feelings.
However, I would let it slide and I would change how I delt with communication in the future with that teacher.
I would not involve your daughter being privvy to any communication haggles.
Encourage a good realtionship with your daughter and all of her teachers. Your daughter is learning that there are different types of people and to be polite to teachers.
I would always go the formal way and contact the main office. Only communicate with the casual, talkative teacher when she is the only one who can attend the issue and then use the most formal route.

Also look for some good points about that teacher, praise her for that. You will feel more decent at the end of the day.

Ironic. Op said that exact thing.

In the opening post the Op also said her daughter had stated that her mum hadn’t got an email. The teacher was addressing that directly.
Chump isn’t an idiot in that sense. It’s an informal name for somebody who got something wrong.
I’d do what another poster said and just said an email explaining why she got it wrong, signed off as Ms Chump.

That comment was about the fact that her DD would share information with the group, not that she 'stirs' things in general or has a history of making things up just to stir...the teacher was unprofessional and is clearly the one in the wrong here

Can you remove the tracing who opens/reads emails from the school computer? (Speak top Council, Principal or Parents club not the teachers) I think that is a privacy issue. Surely the school just needs to know that the email is delivered. I possibly would bring this up after DD has finished her years with teacher.

I’m not from the UK so I had to google chump lol.

It does seem odd that a whole class of 10 year olds was discussing the school’s standard of communication?

I accept I’m old fashioned but I didn’t really enjoy that stage of childhood around age 10 where they are a bit priggish (another Enid Blyton word!). I didn’t have a lot of patience with my DD coming home to report small infractions by adults in a scandalised tone.

We get a lot of school communication so I would easily believe I missed an email. If the information was so vital for parents to have that you’d been demanding it for a month and made a complaint, surely the school would have provided it already. Or maybe it wasn’t that important and you have a reputation for being demanding. Impossible to know without being directly involved.