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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 24/02/2023 18:19

Remind them it is illegal to park over a dropped kerb and that they may well get a ticket for doing so. That you may need to take your car on/off your drive at any time, and so they may be asked to move their car at any time...

And then do ask them to move their car every time, and use your drive as often as possible.

SinnerBoy · 24/02/2023 18:21

ErrolTheDragon · Today 18:11

I can't imagine anyone complaining or you being prosecuted for parking across the entrance to your own property. Certainly not someone who wants to park there himself.

I have to agree and what a CF! "I'll be parking there from now on..." The bloody nerve of him! Park across your drive and like a PP said, tell him you were flustered and it's not OK at all.

IreallyLikeCrisps · 24/02/2023 18:24

It's not illegal to park across a dropped curb that is your own drive. (Unless it has yellow lines/zigzags/etc.)Stop being ridiculous and just park there! If your neighbour is parked there get out and tell them to move every single time! They will soon get fed up of being asked to move and stop parking there.

user1471505494 · 24/02/2023 18:25

BitOutOfPractice · 24/02/2023 17:27

In fact what you’re saying is, you need three spaces. Your drive, the space across your empty drive, and the space you’re parked in on the street.

just park on your drive ffs!

Actually only two spaces as you’re not allowed to park blocking a dropped curb

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:32

Sorry but it doesn't matter if the dropped curb is your own drive, it is still illegal.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 24/02/2023 18:33

DontMakeMe · 24/02/2023 17:29

I would imagine it's very annoying when neighbours can't park near their house because your car is taking up a parking spot on the road and your drive is empty!

I park on the road because my drive slopes uphill, and following (less than wholly successful) knee surgery it's incredibly painful getting out of the car on the slope.

If it annoys my neighbours, none of them have mentioned it, or parked across my drive.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 24/02/2023 18:34

Does your spouse drive a smaller vehicle? Can that be used on the drive so people can't complain about your larger one on the road?

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:34

@user1471505494 exactly! I'm not sure why it's okay for my neighbours to need two spaces but not me.

At the end of the day I just think I should have access to my drive when and if I want it.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:35

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 24/02/2023 18:34

Does your spouse drive a smaller vehicle? Can that be used on the drive so people can't complain about your larger one on the road?

I don't have a spouse, just me and the 3 soon to be 4 children. I've only ever had one car the entire time I've lived here.

OP posts:
nailsathome · 24/02/2023 18:36

Parking across a dropped curb is not illegal unless you are blocking someone in.

GeekyThings · 24/02/2023 18:37

It's perfectly legal for you to park in front of your own dropped kerb; it's perfectly legal for anyone to do it if the owner says they can. And you're the owner.

Also regardless of legalities the police won't do anything about someone parking in front of your drive unless they're blocking you in - if you're not parked there it isn't their concern, it's a council ticketing matter only.

It is annoying if someone parks so you can't use your drive. It's also annoying for someone with a drive to constantly take up extra space parking in the street when they don't have to, but everyone else does. So it sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other to me, you're both being unreasonable.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:38

@HarrietSchulenberg thank you.

I do have advanced driving training for my job so it's not so much I can't do it, it is just very, very, very narrow and takes a lot of time.

At the moment we are rushing in and out (I work full time) and with the bigger car yes I have found it more of a faff so as said previously I've only been using it when I really needed to since I've had the bigger car.

When I'm off on MAT things won't be so rushed as I'll be home more and I can spend all day manoeuvring up the drive if I need to Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:39

@nailsathome according to the Highway Code it is an offence.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 24/02/2023 18:41

www.spelthorne.gov.uk/article/17371/Parking-across-dropped-kerbs#:~:text=You%20may%20not%20have%20realised,from%20the%20pavement%20more%20easily.

We would only actively enforce against obstructing dropped kerbs if this is reported to us by a resident or a business

Who's going to report you?

www.havering.gov.uk/download/downloads/id/1380/rules_for_parking_by_a_driveway.pdf

Put simply, if you park in a part of a road where there is a dropped kerb you are committing an offence UNLESS you have the permission of the owner of the property, or properties, using that dropped kerb.

Darkstar4855 · 24/02/2023 18:44

It’s a KERB not a curb.

But other than that YANBU. Tell your neighbour not to block your drive.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:56

So basically all I've got from this is that it's perfectly okay for my neighbours to extend and get rid of their own drive and park on the street with their two cars for 2 people, and expect to be able to park across my drive so they can be as close as possible to their house. Because by my not parking on my drive with my one car I am taking up space that I shouldn't be and preventing them or someone else from parking next to their house (even though there are ample spaces across the road, just not right in front of their house).

But it's not okay for me to use my drive less frequently due to changing life circumstances, and park my one car for 5 people on the road sometimes, but still expect access to my drive when I want or need it without having to ask?

I actually have no issue with my neighbours and I get on with them fine, we don't know each other well get grab each other's bins in and whatnot. I don't want to start any dramas which is why I asked if I was unreasonable.

So I guess by Mumsnets reckoning if I want to park on the road then I accept I will have people parking over my drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:56

Darkstar4855 · 24/02/2023 18:44

It’s a KERB not a curb.

But other than that YANBU. Tell your neighbour not to block your drive.

Kerb, I do apologise.

OP posts:
MelchiorsMistress · 24/02/2023 18:59

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 18:32

Sorry but it doesn't matter if the dropped curb is your own drive, it is still illegal.

As this is how you feel about it, carry on as you are and report his car being parked across your drive every day until he gets tickets and stops.

SinnerBoy · 24/02/2023 19:00

mrsflanders23 · Today 18:56

So basically all I've got from this is that it's perfectly okay for my neighbours to extend and get rid of their own drive and park on the street with their two cars for 2 people, and expect to be able to park across my drive so they can be as close as possible to their house. Because by my not parking on my drive with my one car I am taking up space that I shouldn't be and preventing them or someone else from parking next to their house (even though there are ample spaces across the road, just not right in front of their house).

No, not at all. You should take from this that they are CFs and that you can park across your own dropped kerb. Only the people / business benefitting from said dropped kerb can complain, I think.

If you give permission to someone, they can park across your drive; I'm assuming that you can give yourself permission?

Fannieannie63 · 24/02/2023 19:02

I do feel for you op, and you have quite rightly pointed out that if you had two cars one would be parked on the street. Also, how could your neighbour assume that it’s okay? You could have left your drive free for a visitor to park. They can never assume because they do not know. I would speak to them and explain but do not ever give them permission to block or use your drive. As someone with the same set up, I feel your pain.

Viviennemary · 24/02/2023 19:07

I think its a bit selfish not to use your drive if there is a shortage of parking in your street.

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 19:08

@Fannieannie63 I don't really have anyone or many visitors, it really is just me and the kids so I suppose they think they have my life and routine worked out.

One of the other reasons at the moment that I'm not using the drive as frequently is there is a large, heavy gate halfway up and being pregnant it's become a struggle to open on my own. I want to look at getting it replaced for new when I can afford it. But I could open it fine before I just struggle now as I have some health issues related to the pregnancy.

OP posts:
WombatChocolate · 24/02/2023 19:08

2 things can help you here.

The first is to start parking in your drive regularly. Most people locally will see you are doing this and certainly won’t want to park you in, and once they stop doing that, will realise they shouldn’t block you from getting in.

The other thing is to ask anyone who does park across your drive, to please not do it so you can access the drive. You will have to have the conversation. People are not mind readers, and especially with the person you said ‘okay’ to, you need to tell them that’s not what you think.

You might find it easier to have the conversation if you mention that you’re pregnant. You could say you hadn’t always used the drive or needed access previously, but now do and will. Of course, you should be able to ask people not to do this regardless of if you’re pregnant, but you might find mentioning it makes it feel an easier conversation, and give them a sense that things are different to before.

Of course people shouldn’t have parked across your drive, but a couple of things have probably made them feel it’s okay. One is that you’ve never said they shouldn’t or you don’t like it (they might have taken this as an unspoken agreement…..not correct to do so, but this is what some people will do) and secondly, it’s because after they’ve done it and you’ve not commented, you’ve continued to park on the road…again giving them a sense that you did. Want or need your driveway. So whilst they are in the wrong to do this, your actions and not saying anything have possibly encouraged them to continue.

Most parking issues escalate because people won’t communicate. You need to speak to people …it’s unavoidable. Normally best to phrase things in a friendly way and not a ‘telling’ way, especially when you’ve let it go for ages and never said anything. That’s why mentioning your pregnancy might help, because it will help people get a sense that things have changed and so what they’ve been doing before can’t continue.

SquirrelRed · 24/02/2023 19:09

I think people are jumping on you unfairly here, you have just as much right to park on the road as everyone else, regardless of whether there are plenty of other spaces or not.
I would go and have a word with your neighbour and let them know they can't cover your drive, or go and knock on every single time they do, they will soon realise it's easier to park elsewhere.
Good luck!

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 19:10

Viviennemary · 24/02/2023 19:07

I think its a bit selfish not to use your drive if there is a shortage of parking in your street.

Read my responses, there isn't a shortage. There are no houses across the road and space for about 30 cars as we speak.

It's been extremely rare occasion since I've lived here that there hasn't been any parking available.

There are free spaces directly on the other side of the road to my neighbours house right now.

OP posts: