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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A parking one...

404 replies

mrsflanders23 · 24/02/2023 17:22

So I live in a street of mainly terraces. I'm one of few houses that has a drive (I'm an end terrace). There is green space across the road though with no houses so there is generally enough parking for everyone iykwim.

I don't use the drive a lot recently, I have quite a big car and the drive is narrow so I find it more effort to park up there sometimes (a bit of laziness on my part). If I can park on the road I will. I used to have a smaller car and used the drive a lot more.

I guess people on the street have noticed that I'm not using the drive as much and I've had a spate of people parking across my drive... I've not said anything so far as I don't want to fall out with anyone but there have been occasions where I haven't been able to get a parking space near my house and then haven't been able to park up my drive as it's been parked over. I've then had to park further up the street... but hey ho.

Issue is- I'm heavily pregnant, baby due in a matter of weeks. The people parking over my drive thing has started to annoy me a little recently as I'm thinking with a baby I will more than likely want to use my drive if I can park at the front of my house.

I've had various complications and this week I've been at hospital nearly every day. Feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Approached my house in car to see neighbour park 3/4 of way over my drive. No drama, space at front of my house I suppose.

As I got out of my car said neighbour approached me, and told me, didn't ask, but told me, that they now have two cars and would be parking "like this from now on" (gesturing to the way his car was parked over my drive). And that "you know where we are if you want us to move".

I was in such a stress and fluster that I just said "okay" and hurried into my house.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go and knock on doors and ask people to move when I have a newborn baby. I want to be able to use my drive, or not use my drive, or do whatever I like with my drive, which is one of the reasons I bought the house.

If I choose, or choose not to use it, surely that is my choice?

AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go speak to neighbour and tell them no?

Oh and I've never parked at the front of this neighbours house or anything like that so it's no kind of weird retaliation from them. I either park in front of my house if available, or across the road where there are no houses.

OP posts:
juliettesmother · 02/03/2023 18:16

I genuinely cannot understand why you are getting a hard time here.

your neighbour does not have the right to park in your property. It’s that simple. He has continued to do so, despite you making it clear that you do not want him to do that. His wish to view his new car from his window does not give him the right to trespass, nor do his wishes trump yours, the home owner.

I would start using it to store the kids bikes or such, in the middle of the drive, to prevent this from happening. Or a load of big potted plants. The neighbours will still have right of way for access purposes but no more.

also, haven’t RTFT, only OP’s posts. Has anyone mentioned penguin bollards yet?

SeeYouNextTLol · 02/03/2023 18:20

I feel sorry for you and the responses. You have explained it perfectly and you are not in the wrong at all. People should not park across someone’s dropped kerb. End of. I hope it gets sorted.

teaandcake123 · 02/03/2023 18:33

I think you should buy a motorbike and park it on your drive. Tell your neighbour you’re learning to ride it and so will need the driveway kept clear.

EmilyMay89 · 02/03/2023 18:35

If you can manage it I would very obviously be taking the photos of him blocking your drive. Like stand in the middle of the street in view of his house and take the photos. Maybe the "subtle" threat of reporting it would work?

Original poster
mrsflanders23 · 02/03/2023 18:36

Thanks for all the new responses.

I feel like I need to write a FAQ section for this thread as I keep having to answer the same dim questions from some people and I'm sick of repeating myself and being called lazy Confused

OP posts:
Fitbachick · 02/03/2023 18:41

Have had something like what you are describing just wanted to say that i did park across dropped kerb of my relatives house the neighbours complained as it stopped them from parking on X marks the spot, the police did nothing they actually told the neighbour that he needed to stop complaining about it. So i doubt you would get into trouble for doing this. Police said that i was not causing an obstruction as my relative knew where i was. Yeah i was in their house and i would move if said relative wanted out of their drive.
I think you are going to have to get tough with the neighbour unfortunately as he sounds like he is one of those who claim a certain part of the street to park on and believe he owns it. If he asks you to move your car to let him out you do not have to as he has access to the other car blocking him in at the other side so up to him to get the other car moved to let him out. If police do call about this make them aware it is his car at the back of him blocking himself in as you will not be required to move your vehicle in this instance.
I would suggest politely speaking to him again about it (or sending your dad round) and say you do not want any carry on but point out that you will report it if he continues to park like this as you have a legal right to get your car off your drive. Unfortunately i believe the law states no offence is committed in blocking your access to get on the drive only to get your car off the drive onto to road is an offence.
l really do not understand people like him and you are not being unreasonable i would say you have been very reasonable with him considering.
Wishing you all the best for the future and hope baby arrives safely and you feel a lot better.

Crumpleton · 02/03/2023 19:15

Unfortunately i believe the law states no offence is committed in blocking your access to get on the drive only to get your car off the drive onto to road is an offence.

I've also read this before, that's why it's important, even though you say you car is to big that you park on your drive.

ThrowAwayOne · 02/03/2023 19:17

This thread is batshit! Of course YANBU! It's your drive, he has no right to park over it. Doesn't matter why you haven't been using it or why you want to start, it's your drive and should be kept free for you to use.

You're going to have to be firm with him, he's not taking your softly softly approach and if needs be then report him for it. If he needs a drive so much he shouldn't have got an extension.

Absolutely mental replies on this thread!

Brazilagogo · 02/03/2023 20:11

I’m incredibly impressed that you would even consider driving up your drive given the size of your car - and reverse it back? I just couldn’t - or if I did, I’d have scrapes down the side of the car.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. Some men are just incredibly precious about their dick extensions

I hope you are feeling better soon, and that the birth goes well Flowers

DreamItDoIt · 02/03/2023 20:12

I think the OP knows it is illegal for her neighbour to park across her drive because:

According to Rule 243 of the Highway Code, you must not stop or park “in front of an entrance to a property”. Also, look out for the dropped kerb. This is an area where the kerb sinks to the road level. Once more, Rule 243 of the Highway Code states that you may not stop or park “where the kerb has been lowered to help wheelchair users and powered mobility vehicles.”
You’ll often find dropped kerbs in front of driveways, to make it easier for cars to pull out of properties and join the road. So yes, according to the Highway Code, it’s an offence to park across driveways, and it’s illegal to park over dropped kerbs – even a little bit.

MotherOfLunatics · 02/03/2023 20:37

I don't know why everyone is jumping on the OP.
I have a drive, paid a premium my house to have a drive if I decide to park on it that's my prerogative. There's a public road outside, my car is taxed, mot and insured. I have the same rights as anyone else to park on the street.
If people want don't want others taking their space, buy a house with a bloody drive way!!!

Your neighbour is a CF. Definitely speak to them. Parking across a driveway is illegal.

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 02/03/2023 20:56

When I have the baby I will be wanting to use my drive.

Go and say that to your neighbour.
Job done.
Hundreds more posts saved Grin

IMustDoMoreExercise · 02/03/2023 21:10

I agree with you OP. Your neigbours are being unreasonable.

whynotwhatknot · 02/03/2023 21:50

hes a twat and doesnt see how being pregnant is relevant

maybe not but its up to you when you want to use your own drive-and as it has a white line over it he shouldnt be parking there anytime

fancydressjess · 02/03/2023 21:54

Just say to them "hey, I was a bit flustered earlier and didn't have time to think, now I've thought about it I've realised I'm not okay with you blocking my drive.... Because..."
And just explain your needs aka yes it's hard to use drive, as they probably now having ditched there's, but sometimes you need to and things are tricky right now... And it feels fair for each house to one car parked outside and what have you...
You're on good times so hopefully it will be fine...

chickbean · 02/03/2023 22:12

mrsflanders23 · 26/02/2023 09:13

Thing is I don't want to start a whole neighbour war over it as I have to live here. I don't want to go to extremes of reporting it etc yet.

I don't actually want to use the drive right this moment. But I was clear as I could be yesterday that I wasn't agreeable to it as I want to have access to it as I wish, and I did say that I didn't want to establish the habit of the drive being parked over and that I didn't want to have to come and ask.

Seems that he has already started the war. Sorry you've had so many bonkers replies to your query. Of course it's not okay for him to park over your drive - even if there were fewer spaces, it's a public highway and you, like anyone else, can park there as long as they abide by the rules - which HE is not doing. We used to have a neighbour who never parked on his driveway. He had an excuse, but the real reason was that he didn't want to move it to let his wife's car out. We just used to find it funny.

sunshinerainstorm · 02/03/2023 22:25

OP I do not understand some of the responses you have had. Your drive sounds difficult and time consuming to navigate especially at the moment when you are pregnant and it's a squeeze not to mention when you have 3 children and nipping in and out and it takes time to park the car ofc you should park where it's easy. Park wherever you want ffs!!!

This does not give the neighbour and right to park over your drive. You can park on a public road if you so wish and your drive with it's dropped kerb should be available at all times for you the house and drive owner.

All you miserable fuckers saying otherwise, please find me parked on your drive whilst you car is parked up On a Public road at work, school run or wherever and I shall park on your drive as it's not in use. Just cos the OP is parked on-a Public road by her house makes no difference it is not a crime. What the neighbour is doing is a piss take, rude and illegal. There is room for parked cars on the road she is not taking a space from someone else hence giving any rhyme or reason why the neighbour would be parking over her drive, READ THE FACTS.

Don't let the neighbour walk all over you.
Your drive needs to be available for whenever you wish to use or not use it. That's your prerogative.

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 02/03/2023 22:40

I'm completely baffled by some of the responses in this thread.

No one has the right to park outside their house or in a way that allows them to 'see their car', nor to park over a dropped kerb.

Everyone has the right to legally park on the street.

Op is operating within the law, and has clear reasons for not using her drive frequently right now. She is not taking a spot from someone leaving them unable to park, so I'm not even sure how she's being selfish.

Neighbour, on the other hand, wants to block access and inconvenience a pregnant woman with health issues, so he can look at his shiny new car, rather than parking legally a bit forwards/backwards/over the road, and thinks it's fine that if Op wants access she needs to park up, ask neighbour to move, hope they're able to (at home/not busy/not drunk), then wait for them to do so? There's a selfish dickhead in the story for sure, but it isn't Op.

Lovesacake · 02/03/2023 23:13

YANBU op, can’t believe the hard time you’ve had here! Has he moved yet?

scorpiogirly · 02/03/2023 23:19

I haven't read the full thread.

If its that narrow you're not going to be able to use it when the baby is here as you will need a lot of space getting the baby in and out. The fact you have a drive is irrelevant. You still pay road tax and are entitled to park on a road.

Does your car fit along your drive when parked on the road. Also does it have a dropped kerb? Sorry if this has already been answered. If it does I would report them for parking there.

snitzelvoncrumb · 03/03/2023 00:02

You can park where you like. Speak to the neighbours, let them know you will be using the driveway now as you will have a baby so they can use the spot in the street. Let them know they can’t park over the driveway as you may need to leave in a hurry in the middle of the night. If they keep doing it, get them towed.

PineapplePomPom · 03/03/2023 08:28

Neighbour sounds like a passive/aggressive a**hole! I'd tell him (or his wife/partner) that when the baby arrives you will definitely be using the driveway. Not your issue if they choose to have two cars and only have parking for one! I'd nip this in the bud, the last thing you need is hassle with the neighbours.

billy1966 · 03/03/2023 08:36

I hope everything works out for you soon.

Your neighbour is a bully and you really need to take photo's and report him.

Ignore the nasty posters with comprehension issues.

No one should be blocking your drive, ever.

TTCournumberthree · 03/03/2023 09:44

Hi OP I can see this has been going on for a while just wanted to offer my opinion as someone who is pregnant and having issues too.

Your driveway does look very narrow, is it all possible for you to maybe install some gravel edging at one side to make it a little bit wider? As in the car would be on the blocks but you would be able to step out onto the gravel and have that extra space?

I feel like you need to be a little bit firmer with your neighbours too, it’s your driveway you’ve every right to have it completely free to park on it. Purposely start asking them now whenever they are on the driveway to move so they can park there. If you can park there permanently from now on they’ll soon get sick of moving having to move theirs. They probably already have a bit of chip on their shoulder about it anyways so you’re not going to make it worse.

Tight spaces are annoying but when you have your new baby you are definitely going to be needing to park there more often than not and you need to start now rather than when babe comes x

DixonD · 03/03/2023 10:16

I know you don’t feel like it but you need to stop him now, rather than waiting until you have the baby. I would write him a letter if you don’t feel up to speaking to him again. Make it absolutely clear you need access at all times.