To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?

[FlappyValley]

Out of DC’s friends whose houses we’ve visited, I’ve seen three who don’t have proper beds, just a mattress on the floor. I’m really surprised because these aren’t poor families by any means (professional jobs, foreign holidays, nice clothes, etc) and the parents all have beds themselves! AIBU to think a bed is one of the most basic things you’d buy your child if your standard of living is generally good? Or is this totally normal?

Our daughter aged four had a perfectly good bed but ever since a family visit she has refused to sleep anywhere other than a camp bed. She loves it and is comfy. Wears a sleep bag to stay cosy. Please don’t judge

As a dc we always had beds and we were poor. My dm would have been judged if we hadn’t had bed frames.
Probably takes a confident mc person to choose to put a mattress on the floor.
Surely being kept clean and fed with emotionally supportive parents is more important than the furniture in a room. If the mattress is comfy then all good.
I wouldn’t want to be changing the linen though, my back would not be happy.

Ok, and they never ever touch the carpet from the moment they wash... Obviously they levitate to their sterilised bed and couldn't possibly touch the germ infested carpet.

How filthy are your carpets that you think they're a health hazard? Don't your kids ever sit/lau/play on your carpets?

Weird 😂
"I've got so much unnecessary clutter, I'll just hoof the bed into the bin"!
Most people start with the actual clutter, not the furniture.

I'v been googling the rational behind the Montessori bed on floor thing...
It seems to be an alternative to "imprisoning" the child in a cot, have I got that right?

No particular reason / benefit to continuing past the age where they're likely to fall out of bed and hurt themselves.

I think you’re right OP, especially as the parents have a bed. When we moved house once we had to sleep on a mattress for two weeks and my back was killing me every morning. My son has certainly never requested to sleep on the floor. Additionally, people are always giving things away on FB marketplace. We once got a trundle bed for free on there. Despite what people on MN say, people do deliver. In fact, when we bought a secondhand Chesterfield, the bloke delivered for a tenner. We didn’t even ask, he offered. Most people are nice and will help if you’re in a tight spot and can’t collect. I know I would.

My son sleeps on the actual floor instead of his bed. Not even on a mattress. Someone gonna shoot me 😂😂😂

I would be concerned if I knew a child without a bed, it’s a basic standard of living and I can’t believe everyone is making out it’s completely normal. I wouldn’t be impressed if I turned up to a hotel and it was just a mattress on the floor.

Our reasons were that we were bed sharing until recently, and breastfeeding over night. I wanted to be able to do this easily but also roll away and leave and know that he was safe. I honestly don't see the problem with this at all? Toddlers don't have bad backs to think about like the rest of us!

What age is that ? My nephew age 4 fall off the bed in the middle of the night from the gap where the head is. His bed is a raised bed. Around 1m high. He’s lucky he didn’t injure himself.
my son sleeps on a mattress on the floor. He falls off it every now and so. He’s 5

when can I trust him that if I buy him a bed he won’t fall off ?

what you need is a mattress not a bed frame. If the kids have got a mattress then. There is nothing wrong with it. If the kids don’t have a mattress then there is a problem.

Reason/benefits include because the kid wants to...

My children slept on mattress on floor for few years. They were young at time transition from cot had toddler bed but it always seemed too small. Didn't want toddler falling out of higher bed. Just purchased single size mattress.
Didn't do it as a thing just found it easier and safer.
As they older 6 or 7 let them pick a bed they liked used mattress they had already.

God knows. Most kids don't do this 🤷🏻‍♀️

I can perhaps see why people do it for toddlers but the OP is talking about older primary aged children so it can’t be a Montessori thing at that age.

my 6yo had a mattress on the floor while her new bed was on order and we were redecorating. She hated it. It served a purpose but don’t think it’s something to aspire to for an older child.

Each to their own I suppose but I always think a mattress on the floor looks like a crack den!

I always knew has a special child. Shall I take him to Britain’s got talent ? I’m 5yo old and I fall off the bed

or maybe many kids still do it and it’s fine to accept it and a floor bed (if they have had one since little) is fine for them and they are happy with it

"I would be concerned if I knew a child without a bed, it’s a basic standard of living and I can’t believe everyone is making out it’s completely normal."

I know someone who was advised by a professional (can't remember which but possibly OT) to remove their child's bed and replace with a mattress on the floor because their child was having sleep difficulties and they would probably feel more comfortable close to the floor.

We have a floor bed, but it is in a proper frame. If you just put a mattress on the floor you risk mould there needs to be airflow!

If the child did not have a mattress your post would be fair but this is just judgemental. They are comfortable, seem to sleep well so what’s it to your where the mattress is located?

This is hilarious, what’s different about a mattress on a floor vs a mattress raised up a bit on a frame?? 😂

I have bought a king size mattress for my twins to sleep on now that they are out of toddler beds. I can sit in the middle and read bedtime stories, sleep in with them if they need me in the night. They’re safe, comfy and it’s nobody else’s business what my children sleep on. I am a professional with nice house, cars, foreign holidays. The mattress was bloody expensive, as were all the covers, quilt, pillows etc.

This is absolutely bonkers judgement of a friend 🤦‍♀️

@ReadersD1gest

Yes, it's a thing

www.guidepostmontessori.com/blog/choose-montessori-bed

SS are not the parenting police. They are not interested in class.

They are there to help and support families who are struggling and vulnerable children at risk of neglect or abuse.

A cared for, loved, fed, clothed and clean child of any social class sleeping on a clean mattress with clean bedding would be of no interest whatsoever to SS.

People have very odd ideas about the role and remit of social services.

@NewNovember I agree

It is on the house checklist for social workers, that section 4 no beds and mattresses on the floor is classed in the same grouping as dog faeces on the floor. So yes, some social workers will make an issue out of this because instead of using nuance, they find it in box 4 and decide your house must be a type 4 house (indicative of neglect) even if you don't meet the other criteria for that classing (such as dog faeces on the floor). So lack of beds can be seen as a marker of neglect for some, even though it's unlikely to cause a problem for most. It is part of the basic house checking social workers do.