To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?

[FlappyValley]

Out of DC’s friends whose houses we’ve visited, I’ve seen three who don’t have proper beds, just a mattress on the floor. I’m really surprised because these aren’t poor families by any means (professional jobs, foreign holidays, nice clothes, etc) and the parents all have beds themselves! AIBU to think a bed is one of the most basic things you’d buy your child if your standard of living is generally good? Or is this totally normal?

So some bed guards are suffocation risks. Most single beds don't have the built on safe bed guards so it's usually a choose of having a toddler bed for a bit then changing bed and mattress when they need a bigger bed, or having a floor bed they can't fall out of.
Also some do- sleeping parents start off in floor beds themselves when they have a newborn as it makes co-sleeping easier as baby can't roll off the side of the bed.
I've seen some super fancy double floor beds for kids rooms that are for transitioning co- sleeping children to their own room. As I regularly cling to the side of a single bed to try and cuddle a toddler back to sleep I dream of such an arrangement.

This I find somewhat hard to believe, to be brutally honest. I hope they didn't pay for that sleep training?

This is normal in Japan and Korea.

... and their children do not seem to be dropping dead.

This thread reminds me of when one of the DC started school aged 4 and the teacher visited us to get to know the child. We were renovating so she had to come straight into the garden to have tea (boiled outside) and posh cake in the garden. The teacher found it hilarious and great fun. God knows where we would have sat if it had rained! Remember thinking that I was not being judged negatively because of where I lived and the size of my house.

It’s like when when some people hire a set of nannies to mind the kids for a week in New York - fine - and when others ask a set of neighbours to do the same for a trip to Benidorm - not fine.

We are a funny bunch in this country.

In Japan ALL kids sleep on the floor. I did the old mattress on the floor when my kids were little so they didn't fall out of bed🤷

Maybe the children like it.

"This I find somewhat hard to believe, to be brutally honest. I hope they didn't pay for that sleep training?"

No it was a child with additional needs and standard involved NHS professionals. Lots of children with additional needs prefer to sleep closer to the floor/ under things/ in corners because they feel safer that way.

Ds used to sleep under his cot bed on the floor when I removed the sides, eventually moving to the mattress I placed next to it.

Only if they are looking at other indicators of neglect.

A fed, loved, cared for, clean, healthy, clothed child sleeping on a clean mattress with clean bedding is not of interest to social services.

If your child was a wriggly sleeper who often fell out of bed, would you rather they fell a few inches from a mattress or three feet from a bed?! As a child I fell out of bed and bumped my head on the bedside table. Needed stitches!

My son has been on a floor bed since infancy (co-slept with him so never used a cot). He is 4 and we are planning on getting him a bed soon but it will still be low to the ground as he is a wriggler! My daughter was in a low bed until recently when she decided she wanted a cabin bed. Not sure why it’s seen as better to be higher up. As long as there is a decent mattress and appropriate bedding that’s surely all that matters?!

On the contrary, its seems a good place to start if you want a child to have own sleeping space that is safe for them and its not restricting them behing bars. Also children have more intuition than adults so they perhaps like it as a means of grounding. The closer to the ground or the floor you are, the more natural that is for us.

The idea of the frame is to allow your mattress to air and breathe - putting it directly on the floor prevents that happening

The average adult mattress absorbs half a pint of fluid each night . Will obviously be less for a child- but still not an insignificant amount of fluid given they’re in bed for longer each night anyway.

in Japan and other cultures the floors of their homes (traditional ones) are wood, suspended, and covered with a hemp type matting. In other words pretty similar to a basic bed frame. The mattresses are thin, rolled up during day but aired thoroughly each day. In fact the structure of the tatami mats are designed to absorb that moisture and prevent the wood floors under, form being damaged by the moisture

You can’t do that with most uk standard uk mattresses. Means that the mattress is not properly aired and can be even more attractive to bed mites - not good with kids with eczema and asthma . Average uk homes are carpetted so you simply won’t see the amount of moisture coming through the mattress each night.

ideally you’d also not push any bed mattress against a wall except at the head. Most uk houses don’t have that much space- but makes the base even more important .

it’s not likely to be an issue for the time a child is in bed/cot translation- particularly if you use a small mattress that can easily be lifted and aired each day. But for teens to be using a uk style mattress on a carpetted floor, pushed up against the wall ? Hmm, I’d say that sounds pretty ick! If the parents have proper tahini and futon That are lifted and aired each day- rock on

@FlappyValley can you explain exactly why you think young children need to sleep raised up off the floor instead of low to the ground, where they can easily get in and out of bed themselves?

Because beyond aesthetics, there really is no reason.

It's a Montessori thing. But if you really wanted to know you could have just googled 'floor bed' instead of starting a judgey thread.

Makes perfect sense to me. I guess if you google grounding it will make sense to you too.

@sashh

Anyone who goes camping sleeps on the floor.
Nope, not true have you never heard of camp beds? We have a slot together wooden bed frame with a slatted base that goes under an inflatable mattress when we camp, as does DS. We also have a canvas tent with room to stand up. I would never camp in a plastic, freezing in the cold, boiling the minute the sun comes tent up ever again. Being lifted even a few inches off the ground makes a huge difference in temperature.

Is it a space issue? A matress can be moved out of the way during the daytime to make extra room for play for example. However, I think a bed is probably better because the matress can air properly underneath but I guess if they got used to it very young making the change now becomes more difficult.

I don't think grounding refers to actually sleeping on the ground?

We were a family of mattress/futon sleepers.
We could easily pay for "proper beds" but low sleeping suited us better.

What child can't easily get in and out of a bed by themselves?! If they can get on and off a chair, navigating a bed should present no problem.
Unless you're suggesting they sit on the floor to eat as well?

I'd be concerned about a child with such limited mobility, tbh.

And raised beds aren't about "asthetics", they're designed with air flow in mind.

Mattresses need circulation, otherwise any sweat and bodily fluids are more likely to get mouldy within the mattress which can affect respiration.

Did their mattresses rest on a wooden base?

These fads are ridiculous. Beds exist for a reason, beyond comfort. Japanese sleep on mattresses on the floor but they have bases so they ventilate.

The older I'm getting, the more I realise that adults are just big children. You think they grow up and become sensible but that's just not the case.

Are ‘floor beds’ and ‘grounding’ just ways of getting MC people to spend money

Raised beds offer so much storage underneath - all of the spare duvets and bed linen, plus out of season clothes. Our house is not tiny, but I cannot think where we would find alternative storage for these things.

It used to be a thing that was checked when I did child protection legal work many years ago. I remember social worker saying homes can look ok downstairs but children often don’t have adequate beds or bedding. Also children not having their own sleeping area. I’m not talking about young children co sleeping but older children who don’t have a place.
As a short term measure if child at risk of falling out etc it’s fine but long term mattress on the floor will get damp they aren’t designed to go straight on floor.

My DD has always slept on the floor but she’s always had a bed in her room and I would feel negligent if I didn’t buy her one.

Some posters are saying it’s a lack of money but you can get second hand ones for free or cheap.

Some posters are also saying it’s Montessori or the new fad but they usually have some sort of bed frame or base, not just a mattress on the floor.

I have gone months sleeping on a mattress on the floor when my bed has broken and it’s not problem.

I don’t think it’s neglectful but I do think it’s a bit crap parenting if they’re not giving their DCs the choice of a bed.