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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?

383 replies

FlappyValley · 23/02/2023 22:14

Out of DC’s friends whose houses we’ve visited, I’ve seen three who don’t have proper beds, just a mattress on the floor. I’m really surprised because these aren’t poor families by any means (professional jobs, foreign holidays, nice clothes, etc) and the parents all have beds themselves! AIBU to think a bed is one of the most basic things you’d buy your child if your standard of living is generally good? Or is this totally normal?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
motherofqilins · 24/02/2023 00:33

@NewNovember it's more to do with how well the rest of the home is looked after rather then if someone is rich or poor

Eyerollcentral · 24/02/2023 00:33

NewNovember · 24/02/2023 00:29

It's "what's classy if you are rich but trashy if you are poor"

Have to say I’d be inclined to agree.

EasterIssland · 24/02/2023 00:40

im currently laid on my king bed.
my 5yo son is laid on a mattress that is on top of some bed slabs.

I have considered buying him a bed with some storage underneath but so far I’m going to leave him like that. In the middle of the night he tends to come to my bed (bye king bed) so if I bought a bed I’d be worried that he’d fall through the gaps.

his mattress is a kids chemical free one (cost us £350) so i don’t feel I’m neglecting him. In fact I’m making his life easier.

quite likely this people you’re criticising are doing the same as me.

ps he says he prefers my bed cuz it’s bigger. Little git

EasterIssland · 24/02/2023 00:49

Moveoverdarlin · 23/02/2023 23:24

I’m with the OP. Happy for my dog to sleep on a mattress on the floor but us humans in the home require a bed, next to a bedside table, with a lamp on and somewhere to put your book, drink and bits. I just think ‘floor beds’ look like a squat or student digs.

blimey I’m really in trouble! I myself don’t have most of those things! There is no space for a table where to leave the book or a lamp in my room.

I’ve an Emma mattress tho. Hope ss don’t take me with them for neglecting myself !

Zanatdy · 24/02/2023 00:55

I’ve never heard of it, must have passed me by too. Only kid I know who didn’t have a bed was a friends teenage son. Real poverty, though I know the son (now nearly 40) struggles to have a relationship with his mother as she definitely could have sacrificed other things (alcohol, cigarettes) and got her kid a bed. I couldn’t sleep in a bed knowing my kid was on the floor on a mattress. I’d have to swap. I guess these people aren’t doing it for poverty reasons though

BraveFaceScaredInside · 24/02/2023 00:57

Surely its the mattress that counts? Not what it is on top of?

Valentina12 · 24/02/2023 01:02

My five year old haha a bed but chooses to sleep on her mattress on the floor. It drives me a little bit nuts. But as long as she’s sleeping I’m just going to go with it, to be honest. It’ll pass..

DuplicateUserName · 24/02/2023 01:05

Eyerollcentral · 24/02/2023 00:03

Have you never been in a friend’s bedroom when you visit their house??? Given a tour when they move in, come and have a look at my new dressing table, no? These are all totally normal things

Show quote history

The OP says they’re her children’s friends, not hers!

EasterIssland · 24/02/2023 01:05

Those of you critising the parents and saying we are lazy and should be reported to ss
can you tell me out of these two pics which one ss would be more concerned about ? One with a bed one with a mattress on the floor

To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?
To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?
Giggorata · 24/02/2023 01:08

We slept on a bed frame and mattress with the legs removed for years and I much prefer the look of the room and sleeping on the floor. Sex was a lot quieter, too.
We started both DS out of cots on to low futons, which they liked and I felt was safer.

LaughingCat · 24/02/2023 01:16

It’s just a thing…bit safer for younger kids and a lot of kids I know prefer to sleep on a floor bed, especially when they get to try it at friends houses on sleepovers etc.

That’s been going on for ages though…I’m 40 and lots of my mates and I had futons as kids, which aren’t hugely different.

Eyerollcentral · 24/02/2023 01:16

DuplicateUserName · 24/02/2023 01:05

The OP says they’re her children’s friends, not hers!

Show quote history

If you are in your child’s friend’s house and you are friendly enough with the mother I don’t think it’s a massive leap of imagination to think that you may have seen inside their bedroom for any number of legitimate reasons.

StoppinBy · 24/02/2023 02:23

Mattresses on the floor can go mouldy as there is no air circulation under them (I've seen it happen when my hubby had housemates when I first met him) so unless that is addressed by airing every couple of days I don't think it's a great idea in general.

Plus I would lose all the storage space where I put the spare books/kids toys etc lol.

WandaWonder · 24/02/2023 02:43

It could be the kids choice, doesn't have to be money related could be lots of reasons

Yes I am aware some people will come up with some dramatic conspiracy but it could be just simple

MysteryBelle · 24/02/2023 02:46

All must bow down to the nonsensical trend of the moment 🙄

I think it looks dumb and is impractical. So the parent checking on child at night needs to get down on their hands and knees to get a look. Uh no, sorry. Dogs sleep on mats on the floor. No house is totally immune to the occasional mouse or whatever, I don’t want my baby sleeping on the floor. Makes no sense. The baby does not need to have ‘access to the entire wonderful world around them’ at bedtime. Time to sleep, not explore and get into everything. People will fall for anything that is trumpeted and promoted by the increasingly twisted powers that be.

garlictwist · 24/02/2023 04:42

DH and I just sleep on a mattress on the floor as our bed broke and we haven't replaced it. Didn't realise we were hip and Montessori Confused it does look a bit like we've been kidnapped and is not a great look. But it makes the room seem bigger and I actually quite like it. Although I've hurt my leg at the moment and it makes getting up very hard work.

ChiefPearlClutcher · 24/02/2023 04:49

There are communities all
over the world where it is totally normal to sleep on the floor 🙄
You don’t need to have a raised platform (with legs or not) to have a bed.

NoBoatsOnSunday · 24/02/2023 05:29

We‘ve been unexpectedly bedless for a few weeks and honestly I prefer having the mattress on the floor, would rather not get a new bed but feel obligated!

sashh · 24/02/2023 05:35

With modern housing we don't really need a bed.

You don't have drafts to get away from and if you have rats sunning around they are probably pets.

Japanese shikibuton is basically a mattress that you roll up in the morning to have more space.

Anyone who goes camping sleeps on the floor.

I'm mid 50s and when my dad bought a desk I used the box it came in to make a bed even though I had a perfectly good bed.

georgarina · 24/02/2023 05:55

5yo DS refuses to sleep in bed and instead sleeps on the spare mattress on the floor. Had no idea it was a trend

Mainlinethehappy · 24/02/2023 06:00

I threw my bed away last year when I realised just how much unnecessary 'stuff' it was that would one day have to be moved anyway. The headboard had that 1970s "The Shining" hotel look to it and I feel I've moved on! Love the low-frame Japanese look but haven't got the money together yet to buy one. Don't see the point of bed frame and headboard clutter any more.

TrinnySmith · 24/02/2023 06:17

toomuchlaundry · 23/02/2023 22:51

Don’t they feel draughts on the floor too?

Yes, must have well sealed well heated homes.

Perfect28 · 24/02/2023 06:32

My son has a mattress on the floor. It's a bit of a pain because we have to move and lift it to air it out regularly but otherwise it's just perfect. He can get in and out, no issues about falling off the bed. It's ideal

PurBal · 24/02/2023 06:37

I’ve read all the replies. It took a while.
My take homes:

  • floor beds are okay for the middle classes but not for working classes
  • people can’t spell “draughty”
We considered a floor bed for DS but couldn’t baby proof the room enough. He’s moving into a very low bed (not a toddler bed or floor bed just a regular single but the lowest we could find) soon. He’s 19mo and he can climb on and off the sofa without help, he doesn’t need to be on the floor now he’s bigger.
BiasedBinding · 24/02/2023 06:48

people who find it easier will do it regardless of whether it’s trendy. You don’t know whether an individual is following a trend (and it making their life harder but they’re so desperate to be trendy - I don’t really believe this happens all that much) or actually it just works for them. One of my children used to nap on a mattress on the floor - they had a bed at night but for various reasons the mattress on the floor worked better for naps. In nurseries children nap on little mats on the floor that get put away after naptime. I don’t really understand why some posters are making such a fuss about what other people do, but that seems to be the trendy thing on MN anyway