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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not leave catering to a 3 year old

97 replies

MarthaMC · 23/02/2023 09:13

OK slightly misleading subject but it's my DMs 70th in 2 weeks and there's a big family meal booked. My DS has told me her 3 year old wants to make the birthday cake to take to the restaurant, in a novelty animal shape. I gently enquired as to whether I should order a backup and the response from DS was to wait and see how cake baking goes, maybe they'll do it, maybe they won't, or maybe they'll do it for a different day etc - she'll let me know...

I'm a bit annoyed because ordering a nice cake usually needs 1-2 weeks notice and as cute as the idea of 3 year old baking is it's putting a lot of faith in her skills for a big occasion. Am I just being miserable and a wonky toddler baked cake would actually be really lovely or would you rather have a professional cake for a big birthday event and save the toddler's for at home? Note my DS is not known for cooking/baking ability.

OP posts:
PumpkinDart · 23/02/2023 09:14

Personally would rather the home made one. I'm assuming your sister is helping her child so it's not as if a 3 year old is going wild on their own.

BestZebbie · 23/02/2023 09:17

For a family meal, definitely the home made one (as long as it does actually show up). For a party with lots of family and friends, catered would be better as it will go round more people and friends may be more worried about the hygiene of a child-made cake than close family of the child are.

frazzledasarock · 23/02/2023 09:17

I’d order the back up.

of your sister is no baker I don’t see how the 3 year old will bake anything edible.

you could order it into an animal theme or something if you felt generous. 🤷🏻‍♀️

PleasantZen · 23/02/2023 09:17

Just get a shop bought one from M&S on the day if its not any good.

Seeline · 23/02/2023 09:18

If it's a big do, then surely a 3yo home made animal cake won't be big enough?
I would order a cake for the event, and if the 3yos cake arrives, make a big fuss if it and say how lovely it will be for Granny to take home and share with her friends. Or just use both and let people choose which they want. Use his for the actual candles.

Saltywalruss · 23/02/2023 09:19

What would your mum want? And are you allowed to take a home made cake to the restaurant?

R0ckets · 23/02/2023 09:20

I would definitely order one. Its a lovely idea but it's not coming from the 3 year old and the fact DS says they might make it or they might not would fill me with no confidence.

Also I have a 3 year old and unless they were incredibly carefully supervised whilst making it aka occasionally stirring the mixture or pouting stuff into the bowl I wouldn't want to eat what they had made, 3 year olds are germ factories.

FlounderingFruitcake · 23/02/2023 09:22

Get one from M&S in case the 3YO doesn’t come through. If they do by some miracle produce something edible then have both; the only thing better than cake is more cake!

IncompleteSenten · 23/02/2023 09:22

I'd order a cake and just not tell anyone. Bring it if needed. Eat it myself if not.

No way would I be eating anything made by (more accurately with the 'help' of) a three year old.

I vividly remember at that age the only time mine took their finger out of their nose was to shove it up their arse.

No thank you.

Alexandernevermind · 23/02/2023 09:26

Just let them do it. The 3yo won't be making the cake, they will be stirring the mixture and licking the bowl afterwards at the very most, and will then proudly claim full responsibility. It doesn't matter if it looks crap. You will be in a restaurant with a hopefully decent dessert menu. If you turn up with the perfect "actual cake" behind them then you will look a bit precious. Also a decent cake takes a lot longer then a week or 2 or order, anything less than a month or so will be from a Supermarket anyway.

Tourmalines · 23/02/2023 09:27

IncompleteSenten · 23/02/2023 09:22

I'd order a cake and just not tell anyone. Bring it if needed. Eat it myself if not.

No way would I be eating anything made by (more accurately with the 'help' of) a three year old.

I vividly remember at that age the only time mine took their finger out of their nose was to shove it up their arse.

No thank you.

This cracked me up 😂

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 23/02/2023 09:27

Mmmm, a three year olds snot, coughs and lord knows what else. Yummy 🤢

I’ve always let my toddlers help bake - but after seeing what actually goes into it, only they have eaten the finished products and maybe dh if he’d been pissing me off.

helpfulperson · 23/02/2023 09:28

Can make your sister responsible for providing the cake. So if they make one great, if not she can pick one up and stick a couple of candles on it. Then you aren't stressing about it.

Candleabra · 23/02/2023 09:30

Alexandernevermind · 23/02/2023 09:26

Just let them do it. The 3yo won't be making the cake, they will be stirring the mixture and licking the bowl afterwards at the very most, and will then proudly claim full responsibility. It doesn't matter if it looks crap. You will be in a restaurant with a hopefully decent dessert menu. If you turn up with the perfect "actual cake" behind them then you will look a bit precious. Also a decent cake takes a lot longer then a week or 2 or order, anything less than a month or so will be from a Supermarket anyway.

I agree with this. I see your point of view and it’s a bit annoying, but your mum will probably love the cake and it’ll make you look petty and controlling if you order another one.

Viviennemary · 23/02/2023 09:34

If you want to order a cake then go ahead. Shame you didn't say you had already ordered it. If she says anything say oh I thought you were joking that x was making the cake. I wouldn't even tell her you had ordered a cake.

RealBecca · 23/02/2023 09:35

Have you baked with a 3 year old?

They are mad keen to start but as soon as you actually start baking they wander off to watch the telly and you're left up to your elbows in batter and wondering you bothered when you could have just put the telly on to start with and had a cuppa instead.

MatildaTheCat · 23/02/2023 09:39

What your DS is really saying is that she might or might not make a cake for the day. Just wait and see if she’s in the mood when the time comes. No 3 year old in history can produce a cake.

Just ask her nicely if she is definitely making her cake with little Sarah because if it’s not definite you will bring one.

They can always produce their creation on another occasion.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 23/02/2023 09:40

Delegate the cake situation. Say yes to your DSis and let her worry about the end result. She can have the responsibility of rushing to M&S on the day when she's left with a grey, vaguely animal-shaped pancake.

Haraebo · 23/02/2023 09:43

Can you ask the 3 year old to help you choose the cake? Then maybe ask them to make a special cupcake for Grandma?

xogossipgirlxo · 23/02/2023 09:44

I would buy backup cake. If your granddaughter's is fine, you can just eat it at home and no one knows😅But I understand your concerns.

AlmaCogansFrockFan · 23/02/2023 09:44

I enjoyed baking cakes as a child...but that was from about 8, taught by my mother who was a a good baker. A 3 year old is just a NO... and your sister sounds flaky about it anyway so go ahead and book a lovely cake! (and I should hope your sister contributes to it as well)

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 23/02/2023 09:45

Ignore her and buy a cake. If the kid bakes one it can be a bonus.

Springbreakwoohoo · 23/02/2023 09:48

As much as I think it’s delightful a 3 year old making a cake, if it was my 70th, I’d like a big proper celebratory cake. But that’s me.
Nothing wrong with an extra cake though - perhaps a small one (cupcake) with a candle for the 3 year old to carry in as a surprise.
It’s your DM special day and she deserves her 70th cake 🎂

MirabelMax · 23/02/2023 09:49

As others have said, it would be the flakiness of your sister that would annoy me rather than a 3 year old helping make a cake. Because that's what we're talking about here, clearly no 3 year old can actually make a cake.

The maybe we'll provide a cake maybe we won't would do my head in.

ToDoListAddict · 23/02/2023 09:51

I'd order fancy cupcakes as a back up - if no cake is produced by the 3 year old, you can arrange the cupcakes into a 70 shape.
If the 3 year old does bake a cake, people have the option of eating that or having a cupcake.
Do you have any vegans/gluten-free people going to the party as you can use that as a reason for the additional cupcakes?

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