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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off at my boyfriend for this?

128 replies

lavenderhillss · 22/02/2023 16:27

Have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Very new and lovely relationship.
It is my birthday in 2 weeks time. I had a rotten birthday last year (was dumped by my ex on my birthday lol). He told me to book time off work for a couple of days.

He’s just messaged me saying “oh I’ve messed up, I booked for us to go to Vienna for a couple of days but I just realised my passport has expired” “don’t worry it’s refundable but didn’t cross my mind”

I just can’t help but feel really deflated, he didn’t seem that bothered about it. I’m obviously really grateful he booked it as I’ve wanted to go for ages. He’s since been really apologetic about it, but I don’t know whether to be annoyed at his general disorganisation. He’s since said he’d make it up to me, but didn’t say this at first.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MidgeHardcastle · 22/02/2023 19:39

The only way forward in this relationship is if he applies for a passport tomorrow and has proof of postage, keeps the booking on the hotel (with a cancellation option) and books the flights when his passport arrives. Otherwise he was just lying.

onaniert · 22/02/2023 19:45

Was going to post that it's mighty suspicious about the flights - not booking flights to Vienna is bonkers. And then I saw you'd updated that he hadn't actually booked anything.
Just talking pie in the sky utter bollocks - romantic gesture, let's go to Vienna, I've booked a (non-existent) hotel. Oops my passport expired. oops I actually didn't even book the hotel coz I clicked off at the flights bit.
Utter bullshit.

I live in Austria. Vienna is a fucking nightmare for flights. The prices are really expensive to get anywhere in the UK, or anywhere actually. I think, though don't quote me on this, there are only direct flights to London. I always fly from Munich instead.

I think he's not even bothered to look for flights. There's a remote possibility that he booked a hotel then went to look for flights and then discovered they are extortionate or fully booked. But I think it's more likely he just made up a load of crap and had no intention of going on holiday.

He could have got a passport in 2 weeks. He could have quickly found somewhere nice to go to in the UK and booked that instead. But no, he sits around crying and trying to get sympathy.

Here's a suggestion - book your own flights to Vienna (if you can find anything sensible) for a month or two and treat yourself to a lovely weekend there. It's a really nice city and nice to explore on your own. Dump him.

Bigmummaof2 · 22/02/2023 19:53

That’s a shame OP. Wait and see what else he does. He could plan something else like a little staycation. Don’t get too wrapped up in some of these negative comments! Let us know how you get on! 💐

Americano75 · 22/02/2023 19:56

Run. Run away.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 19:58

Shit. That will show me. Everyone was right, twat was lying, never booked anything, never intended to and wanted the credit of it.

so now it’s down to he just looked at hotels , bet his passports not even expired or he doesn’t even have one.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 19:59

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 22/02/2023 16:48

ok, I'm letting you off the hook entirely, just because of your delightfully florid turn of phrase 😁Wine

Show quote history

😂🇦🇹

pinkfondu · 22/02/2023 20:00

Oh dear

Thepossibility · 22/02/2023 20:01

He had a cry cos he got caught bullshitting. I'd lol too.
Tell him not to worry, he still has two weeks to plan something amazing.
Then if nothing eventuates - bin.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 22/02/2023 20:16

I hope you have a lovely birthday OP, don't let this liar spoil it. Dump him now to avoid the risk.

Freshair87 · 22/02/2023 20:18

Yeah get rid of this one

LadyJ2023 · 22/02/2023 20:25

So basically he told you a whole pile of lies, so why are you still with him? Aren't you worth more? Cause I would always wonder what else he lies about and doesnt get caught out on. These days there's no reason to get a quick passport, you can even collect it personally within 24 hours from the issuing office. Sorry you will be disappointed so would I be

DashboardConfessional · 22/02/2023 20:36

This was predictable, wasn't it?

If someone dangles "This really nice thing was going to happen but now it's not," It just instantly gets my back up. If he'd meant to actually organise a trip he could have done it to somewhere like Edinburgh, Bath, a spa hotel, the New Forest etc. etc. on Booking.com in under 5 minutes. You don't even need passport details to book a flight - I did it yesterday! So him clicking off because he didn't have yours is bollocks.

Eyerollcentral · 22/02/2023 20:37

MidgeHardcastle · 22/02/2023 19:39

The only way forward in this relationship is if he applies for a passport tomorrow and has proof of postage, keeps the booking on the hotel (with a cancellation option) and books the flights when his passport arrives. Otherwise he was just lying.

But it’s already been established he has lied

Rahrahrahraah · 22/02/2023 20:46

I renewed my passport in Jan (just the standard way, not express or anything)and it was back in under 2 weeks.

Pansypotter123 · 22/02/2023 21:25

How old is he? And has he come up with an alternative in this country so as not to let you down?

ThomasinaLivesHere · 22/02/2023 21:35

How unattractive! Who acts like that? He sounds about 15.

Like others say he wanted some credit for doing nothing and just having a nice thought. I got my passport in under two weeks and that was just applying for it normally. Obviously in a hypothetical scenario where you need it in under two weeks I’d do fast track or look at going into a passport office. But of course I imagine if you mention that he’ll come up with reason for why he can’t do that.

Jaxinthebox · 23/02/2023 13:41

So he got you to book AL, dangled a lovely mini break in a much wanted place in front of you... then reneged, got caught out because he hadn't actually booked it, lied to you, cried to manipulate your guilt complex.

You have told people, you have got excited and he has pissed all over your emotions.

You deserve much better than words - anyone can use nice words, you want actions. Ditch this loser. You are worth far more than an empty promise.

Gwen82 · 23/02/2023 14:06

He’s flakey
He’s a fibber
He’s thick (as if he’d get away with it 🙄)
and he’s utterly pathetic (crying? I mean, WTF?)

He sounds as far from a “catch” as possibly without being abusive

NeedToChangeName · 23/02/2023 14:12

Get rid

Ellie1015 · 23/02/2023 15:57

So instead of the perfect well researched trip to venice he has done nothing?? Just told you about a surprise you aren't getting?? It would have been more thoughtful not to tell you.

An overnight nearby, a weekend in UK, a nice dinner and a gift. All better options than panicking about what to do some much.

RoamSeeker · 23/02/2023 16:04

Why even bother telling you? He could just book a lovely UK getaway instead. Is he not getting you anything now and you’ve just got to grateful for the “thought”

ChristmasFluff · 23/02/2023 16:58

If his tall tale was true, why didn't he immediately book you a lovely UK hotel and not tell you about Vienna?

But no. He doesn't care about your disappointment, only that he gets his brownie points for 'booking Vienna' - without actually booking Vienna.

I'd keep your hopes for your birthday pretty low, but I suspect you'll be disappointed however low they are.

xogossipgirlxo · 23/02/2023 17:01

RoamSeeker · 23/02/2023 16:04

Why even bother telling you? He could just book a lovely UK getaway instead. Is he not getting you anything now and you’ve just got to grateful for the “thought”

I agree 😬It's the type of thing you confess after few years of relationship 😂

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 23/02/2023 19:10

Jaxinthebox · 23/02/2023 13:41

So he got you to book AL, dangled a lovely mini break in a much wanted place in front of you... then reneged, got caught out because he hadn't actually booked it, lied to you, cried to manipulate your guilt complex.

You have told people, you have got excited and he has pissed all over your emotions.

You deserve much better than words - anyone can use nice words, you want actions. Ditch this loser. You are worth far more than an empty promise.

This.

He sounds vile and he didn't give one shit about your birthday, despite asking you to book annual leave. Then lied to try to make himself sound better? Nah. I'd get out now, so many red flags.

UdoU · 23/02/2023 19:28

He’s crying because he was caught lying. Don’t fall for it.