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Original poster

To be pissed off at my boyfriend for this?

128 replies

lavenderhillss · 22/02/2023 16:27

Have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Very new and lovely relationship.
It is my birthday in 2 weeks time. I had a rotten birthday last year (was dumped by my ex on my birthday lol). He told me to book time off work for a couple of days.

He’s just messaged me saying “oh I’ve messed up, I booked for us to go to Vienna for a couple of days but I just realised my passport has expired” “don’t worry it’s refundable but didn’t cross my mind”

I just can’t help but feel really deflated, he didn’t seem that bothered about it. I’m obviously really grateful he booked it as I’ve wanted to go for ages. He’s since been really apologetic about it, but I don’t know whether to be annoyed at his general disorganisation. He’s since said he’d make it up to me, but didn’t say this at first.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Mojoyoyo · 22/02/2023 18:32

If genuine it’s a nice gesture.
However, since you didn’t know about it why did he mention it if it wasn’t going to happen.

You’d have been non the wiser.

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 18:35

Lol. I don’t know how to feel. He said he spent ages choosing the right hotel and researching loads to do because he wanted to get it right. He ended up in tears saying he panicked and he didn’t know what to do about it and that he felt awful….

bollox

oh and pathetic!

Thelondonone · 22/02/2023 18:36

Merkins · 22/02/2023 17:45

Entirely possible. I’ve booked a hotel in Oslo for Sept and it can be cancelled until the day before check in without charge. I still need to book the flights. Did the same with Rome last year.

Show quote history

Yes but you won’t wait until 2 weeks before when the prices are at their highest to book? You’ll book fairly soon I’d have thought and have checked your passport-no?

OneMoreCookieMonster · 22/02/2023 18:36

Wow, he really is the actor isn't he? Crying is because he got caught out.

I would be asking myself some serious questions here and bailing on this relationship before you get too entangled

AutisticLegoLover · 22/02/2023 18:37

It all sounds very young and immature. He cried? Ffs. He's after sympathy for his ineptness. Pathetic.

Cherrysoup · 22/02/2023 18:37

He’s in tears because you called him out on it and proved he was a liar.

OneMoreCookieMonster · 22/02/2023 18:38

Posted too soon, he's manipulating your emotions. This is a huge red flag

burnoutbabe · 22/02/2023 18:40

Mojoyoyo · 22/02/2023 18:32

If genuine it’s a nice gesture.
However, since you didn’t know about it why did he mention it if it wasn’t going to happen.

You’d have been non the wiser.

Yes why would he tell you, just get on and book something nice in the uk and trains to get there.

Not just do nothing!

knittingaddict · 22/02/2023 18:41

I would be very wary of men who lie and then cry when they are found out. I know a man who would have done that and he was abusive.

Clusterfunk · 22/02/2023 18:48

So many red flags here.

dontputitthere · 22/02/2023 18:51

Ah caught out lying... so resort to some emotional shit to make you feel sorry for him instead of angry at all the manipulation and lying.

Sorry he's fucked it all up.

What are you going to do?

Yoyooo · 22/02/2023 18:52

My passport took a week to get renewed just now! It's so quick atm

lemmein · 22/02/2023 18:56

another loser who wants you to act like he treats you because ‘it’s the thought that counts!!!’ but without actually doing anything

This.

My DD was in a relationship with a 'promiser' - tedious having to pretend to believe his bullshit!

rothbury · 22/02/2023 19:00

I don’t understand. Why can’t you still go to Vienna? He should get a new passport in two weeks.

Aprilx · 22/02/2023 19:04

lavenderhillss · 22/02/2023 16:34

He’s just told me he booked the hotel, and was going to book the flights tonight which is what made him think of his passport

So he didn’t book anything.

I am in two minds, I don’t need anybody to book anything for me and never have, I will organise my own birthday trips / outings. But I am a bit concerned that he misled you.

Rainbowqueeen · 22/02/2023 19:05

I’d believe him more if he had actually followed through with his promise to make it up to you but it doesn’t sound like that has happened.

Id be proceeding with caution. If your birthday passers-by without a thoughtful and meaningful gift from him I would see that as proof he is an over- promiser under - deliverer who can’t be relied on And I’d move on

Veryniceindeed · 22/02/2023 19:07

So what’s his plan for your birthday now?

glittereyelash · 22/02/2023 19:11

I applied for my dad's passport last week and it was here in 5 days with fast track.

Amadeaa · 22/02/2023 19:11

I think this can happen. And I don’t know why everyone assumes he lied. I always book hotels which are refundable, and he hadn’t booked the flights yet. My DP once realised the night before we were about to leave that he doesn’t know where his passport is, and remembered that he had left it at his parents place. (Who knows why). Annoying, but shit happens. I’d be disappointed but couldn’t get too upset about it if it’s a one off

Isthisit22 · 22/02/2023 19:13

If he was genuinely sorry he would have immediately booked a nice break in the UK.
He is a liar and has no intention of treating you well.

honeybunsleo · 22/02/2023 19:14

Nahhhh he wanted to make you think he had gone to all this effort and planned an amazing trip.
No trip is refundable due to him not having his passport in date.
Call him bluff and say no problem just rebook a surprise weekend in England for me then :)

Riapia · 22/02/2023 19:16

I’d have replied “thats OK I’ll go on my own. “
He’s a sadistic twat, bet he was getting some sort of a kick telling you that.

FictionalCharacter · 22/02/2023 19:26

So he lied, then lied some more trying to cover up his lies, then….. cried?
Is this someone you want to continue in a relationship with?

itwasntmetho · 22/02/2023 19:27

Ah I hate this behaviour, he gets the thanks and romantic ideas credit without having to do anything real. Prepare for a lifetime of 'nice thought though' situations where you are supposed to feel lucky for the hollow sentiment not followed up on.

Clymene · 22/02/2023 19:31

Amadeaa · 22/02/2023 19:11

I think this can happen. And I don’t know why everyone assumes he lied. I always book hotels which are refundable, and he hadn’t booked the flights yet. My DP once realised the night before we were about to leave that he doesn’t know where his passport is, and remembered that he had left it at his parents place. (Who knows why). Annoying, but shit happens. I’d be disappointed but couldn’t get too upset about it if it’s a one off

He admitted it!

Okay so he never actually booked it lol. He kept telling me he had booked it, he then told me that he actually booked it today. Fair enough, I said, show me the confirmation email. He said “I can’t get gmail on my phone”.

He lied. We were all right. He just made it up.

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