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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my boyfriend for this?

128 replies

lavenderhillss · 22/02/2023 16:27

Have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Very new and lovely relationship.
It is my birthday in 2 weeks time. I had a rotten birthday last year (was dumped by my ex on my birthday lol). He told me to book time off work for a couple of days.

He’s just messaged me saying “oh I’ve messed up, I booked for us to go to Vienna for a couple of days but I just realised my passport has expired” “don’t worry it’s refundable but didn’t cross my mind”

I just can’t help but feel really deflated, he didn’t seem that bothered about it. I’m obviously really grateful he booked it as I’ve wanted to go for ages. He’s since been really apologetic about it, but I don’t know whether to be annoyed at his general disorganisation. He’s since said he’d make it up to me, but didn’t say this at first.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:39

MelchiorsMistress · 22/02/2023 16:32

Yanbu. He shouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. Has he now applied for a passport renewal? Has he arranged an alternative trip?

I could forgive this easily, but depending on how he behaves next. If he expects you to forget about it completely then he’s a waster who is happy to string you along. If he gets his passport sorted asap and rebooks Vienna, and still does something special for your birthday, then he just made a mistake and deserves forgiveness.

This makes no literal sense, she didn’t know she was going to Vienna.

i can’t get my head round these answers at all.

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:40

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:38

Surprised at these answers. It’s not like you’re entitled to a free holiday to Vienna . You can go another time. For goodness sake.

have you actually read all the posts?

dontputitthere · 22/02/2023 16:40

Who books a hotel... but not flights?!

Surely you get flights first if anything as hotels are pretty much all over the place.

And two weeks is plenty of time to sort a replacement passport. If he so wished...

insectinfestation · 22/02/2023 16:41

I'm surprised at the number of people saying he probably never booked it. I book hotels and flights later or vice versa all the time. OP- how long left until your bday? I suggest saying you go somewhere in the U.K. instead.

Veryniceindeed · 22/02/2023 16:41

Yep don’t believe him either.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:41

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:40

have you actually read all the posts?

Show quote history

Yes, have you?

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:41

dontputitthere · 22/02/2023 16:40

Who books a hotel... but not flights?!

Surely you get flights first if anything as hotels are pretty much all over the place.

And two weeks is plenty of time to sort a replacement passport. If he so wished...

Someone who had no intention of ever going

and if the hotel was booked…. Let me guess it came with 24 hour fully refundable

Veryniceindeed · 22/02/2023 16:41

It’s easy to book a hotel (if he did) and cancel it later.

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:42

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:41

Yes, have you?

Show quote history

What are you struggling with
then overwhelming majority aren’t remotely talking about the op being entitled to anything

most of us think he never booked it

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:42

insectinfestation · 22/02/2023 16:41

I'm surprised at the number of people saying he probably never booked it. I book hotels and flights later or vice versa all the time. OP- how long left until your bday? I suggest saying you go somewhere in the U.K. instead.

Me too. The hotels refundable so I’ve often done it this way,

insectinfestation · 22/02/2023 16:43

Just saw 2 weeks 😅 he could get an emergency passport!

dontputitthere · 22/02/2023 16:43

Veryniceindeed · 22/02/2023 16:41

It’s easy to book a hotel (if he did) and cancel it later.

Yeah but why?

Flights go up the nearer the travel date. Never down. There's an infinite number of flights to the city. You have specific dates. You book them to ensure you can actually go

Hotels. Meh as long as you're not super fussy they're everywhere.

It just doesn't make sense. Hence I smell bullshit.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:43

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:42

What are you struggling with
then overwhelming majority aren’t remotely talking about the op being entitled to anything

most of us think he never booked it

Show quote history

I’m fully aware of this. I simply can’t understand why.

I have often booked like this and it’s entirely plausible if he does not travel often he didn’t realise his passport was expired. It’s not like he’s been promising her for weeks a trip to Vienna. She only found out today.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 22/02/2023 16:44

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:38

Surprised at these answers. It’s not like you’re entitled to a free holiday to Vienna . You can go another time. For goodness sake.

OP hasn't given the slightest impression of being entitled.
Quite the reverse - I’m obviously really grateful he booked it as I’ve wanted to go for ages.

He TOLD her to book time off, it would have been much kinder not to have mentioned Vienna at all. & just booked somewhere lovely in the UK instead.
The Scilly Isles would have been a great alternative - you can get a helicopter from the mainland, really makes it feel special & 'abroad'.

I'm with the "he never booked it in the first place" camp.
If he comes up with a Premier Inn & a night out at a Harvester, we'll all know he's full of shit ...

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:44

Hotels. Meh as long as you're not super fussy they're everywhere

and that’s it, many of us are fussy.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:45

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 22/02/2023 16:44

OP hasn't given the slightest impression of being entitled.
Quite the reverse - I’m obviously really grateful he booked it as I’ve wanted to go for ages.

He TOLD her to book time off, it would have been much kinder not to have mentioned Vienna at all. & just booked somewhere lovely in the UK instead.
The Scilly Isles would have been a great alternative - you can get a helicopter from the mainland, really makes it feel special & 'abroad'.

I'm with the "he never booked it in the first place" camp.
If he comes up with a Premier Inn & a night out at a Harvester, we'll all know he's full of shit ...

Show quote history

No the op hasn’t, the responders have, and he only mentioned Vienna today. It’s not like he’s been leading her on with promises of Austrian delights.

Ellie1015 · 22/02/2023 16:45

You didnt know it was Vienna so he could have changed to a UK plan if he was genuinely booking a trip away. It's like he wants the credit without actually giving the gift.

dontputitthere · 22/02/2023 16:45

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:44

Hotels. Meh as long as you're not super fussy they're everywhere

and that’s it, many of us are fussy.

Haha well I'm kind of more fussy about having flights to where I want to go!

Seeing as how they always increase in price and there's only a set number of flights to Vienna

But you do you

Suprima · 22/02/2023 16:45

lavenderhillss · 22/02/2023 16:34

He’s just told me he booked the hotel, and was going to book the flights tonight which is what made him think of his passport

Booking accommodation first and leaving 2 weeks too to book the flight when they are going to be pricier and no guarantees of the times you want being available?

who does that?

yeah right

but let’s imagine he’s telling the truth (and couldn’t be trusted to run a bath)- what is he going to do to make it up to you?

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:46

She only found out today.

suggest you reread the op

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:46

If he comes up with a Premier Inn & a night out at a Harvester, we'll all know he's full of shit ...

like cos you know him or something? How does you or any other random in here knowing he’s full of shit have any form of relevance. Unless he’s your mate, then I’m sure no one gives a shit.

Solittletimeforwine · 22/02/2023 16:47

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:46

She only found out today.

suggest you reread the op

Suggest you do. Carefully.

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 16:47

He didn’t even bother to call the OP

He messaged her FGS!

Suprima · 22/02/2023 16:47

Ellie1015 · 22/02/2023 16:45

You didnt know it was Vienna so he could have changed to a UK plan if he was genuinely booking a trip away. It's like he wants the credit without actually giving the gift.

exactly

another loser who wants you to act like he treats you because ‘it’s the thought that counts!!!’ but without actually doing anything

Veryniceindeed · 22/02/2023 16:48

Ask him what his plans are now then.

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