To want to pull my son out of nursery based on what I’ve seen?

[rsarw]

12 month old DS just started nursery in baby room. over the course of two settling in visits and his first day I’ve seen the following:
babies being left to it/ not picked up or comforted when crying, multiple times - I’ve had to resist the urge to comfort them myself. It’s possible they were eventually picked up after I left but it went on for a good 5 mins and staff seemed to completely ignore it.

Very little staff interaction with babies, staff are rarely on the floor playing or interacting with them. Babies are desperate for attention so swarm me when I come in.

little girl fell off a bike toy badly, hitting her head. Member of staff didn’t know what to do and had to be told by another multiple times to apply a cold compress. She then picked DS up and put him on the same toy
despite the fact he’s not old enough and his key worker had to take him off it.

staff heating milk too hot for babies, and other staff member noticing and reminding them they needed to check it. Baby could presumably have burnt mouth if other staff hadn’t stepped in.

DS incredibly thirsty on return from first proper day, hadn’t had his milk, assuming also hadn’t had water.

staff expressing slight contempt for babies eg X does that for attention, ‘they throw themselves at the floor to get
us to come over’

my son’s key worker hardly interacting with him at his settling sessions, not noticing/ leaving him to cry on the floor when upset (when I was there).

communication with me not good, when asking how the day/ session was or calling for an update they will just say ‘he seems ok’ or ‘he’s doing well’, then when I ask if he’s been crying it turns out he has.
DS distressed at pickup from first session, and unsettled all evening and night. He’s generally a very chill baby. I get it’s an adjustment but this seems a lot for just 4 hours.

staff seem very focussed on completing tasks eg nappies and meals and naps and app updates but not on general engagement with the babies. I get nursery is 3:1 and will inevitably be less attentive but it feels like the staff actively avoid the babies to try and get them to expect less and be more self sufficient.

basically my hunch is the kids get ignored and left to cry a lot and the staff aren’t great.

on the plus side, he’s apparently eaten lots at mealtimes, and he’s napped well there.

based on all this we’re looking at taking him out, despite the fact I go back to work in 2 weeks and we have no backup. Currently trying to find a nanny at short notice, although this will cost us some savings it feels like the only option until
we can find a better nursery.

Not to be rude but what's the point in having a baby if you're just going to dump it in a nursery?
I know some people need to work but then why have a baby? I'm not being goady I'm just curious.

OP of course you should remove your child from this nursery, sounds like borderline neglect on their part.

I'd take him out instantly. Soo many dangerous signals

This is why I would never put a baby into a nursery.

It sounds like management pressure them too much to complete paperwork and this is making them slack in care.

I stalked my kids daycare. I'd turn up at random times. Pop back and look through window. Just to reassure myself.
They had a good mix of staff ages with many of the ladies own kids in the daycare on different rooms.

This is why you visit a nursery - to spot these things before signing up to it. It sounds awful and I would have walked out after seeing the first few things you describe.

Unfortunately I have been in many nurseries very similar to how you described. Especially the not picking up the babies or cuddling them, them being shouted at or ignored and lax on things like medications and checking sleep.
I've reported them all to ofsted obviously.
Always go with your instincts and I hope you can find a great alternative childcare solution soon. You are absolutely doing the right thing here.

You are seeing the at their best when there at a settling in day - so God only knows how bad it is when you are not there!!!!

Pull your child and report the nursery - I'm in Ireland but I think it's OFSTED in UK, so they can arrange for unannounced inspections.

And for the PP who said she wasn't being goady by asking why have a baby if you leave it in nursery, we are allowed to being them home in the afternoon, and even to keep them at home on weekends.

I pulled my oldest son out of his first nursery. I never regretted it for one moment.

Trust your instinct. It's telling you something. Also, remember that is how they behaved when you were actually present. It should have been reassuring not concerning.

Sadly I agree with @Carrotsandsuede too.
OP, you also mentioned a baby girl in the room whose mum you know. Please inform her as to what is going on for the sake of that poor child.

I would definitely not send my little one to a setting like that. My DS's nursery was very hands on comforted/cuddled the little ones.

Reported for being goady. Obviously.

Based on what you've said I most definitely wouldn't send my DC there. There are much nicer nurseries out there!

I'm a nursery worker with 30 years experience currently working in a baby room.

From OP:
babies being left to it/ not picked up or comforted when crying, multiple times - I’ve had to resist the urge to comfort them myself. It’s possible they were eventually picked up after I left but it went on for a good 5 mins and staff seemed to completely ignore it. - You might not rush to a child in some circumstances but there should always be a staff member making themselves available for a cuddle.

Very little staff interaction with babies, staff are rarely on the floor playing or interacting with them. - That's 50% of their job they're not doing. Bad staff. (Or possibly staff with no time left after being given 100 other jobs by managers)

little girl fell off a bike toy badly, hitting her head. Member of staff didn’t know what to do and had to be told by another multiple times to apply a cold compress. She then picked DS up and put him on the same toy
despite the fact he’s not old enough and his key worker had to take him off it. - Staff member is incompetent fuckwit. I'm sorry to say that there just are not enough good staff to go round. This leaves owners the choice between shutting down or hiring the least worst applicants who managed to crayon their names onto an application form. Until the sector is seen as a good and rewarding place to work it will always be a place where otherwise unemployable people find jobs.

staff heating milk too hot for babies, and other staff member noticing and reminding them they needed to check it. - more poor staff.

staff seem very focussed on completing tasks eg nappies and meals and naps and app updates but not on general engagement with the babies. - The staff sound like they're concentrating on the things they'll get judged on by managers.

communication with me not good, when asking how the day/ session was or calling for an update they will just say ‘he seems ok’ or ‘he’s doing well’, then when I ask if he’s been crying it turns out he has. - Trying to put a more positive spin on things rather than being brutally honest. They do tell the truth if asked. Not too bad compared with the other issues.

my son’s key worker hardly interacting with him at his settling sessions, not noticing/ leaving him to cry on the floor when upset (when I was there). - Another example of terrible staff. Too thick even to try to look good in front of the customers.

basically my hunch is the kids get ignored and left to cry a lot and the staff aren’t great. - As a PP said, that's not a hunch. That's an observation.

Pull him out.

Gosh that sounds awful. Our daughter has been in nursery for 3 years and loves it, she's way ahead with her speech and will tell us all about the day. Parents have a key code to get in and the kids are always being cuddled etc.
We discounted another nursery for the same reasons you have mentioned about this one..kids just seemed to be left alone while staff were cleaning, writing up reports and otherwise engaged. Also we took my mum for a second look at each one and at this other nursery she saw a member of staff pull a boy along by his arm..not aggressively but not in the manner I would handle a toddler in.
It's hard enough going back to work and leaving your precious child with someone as it is so if you can make alternate arrangements then I would

I wouldn't go back. That is what most nurseries are like though. No one will love your child like you will. No one will play with your child like you do. Babies need their mums

From what I've seen this is a typical nursery

Avoid avoid avoid!!'

Definitely take him out

Complain to Ofsted. Don't send him.

There are lovely baby rooms out there by the way! This is not one of them.

I had a very similar experience and took my baby out after a couple of weeks and got a childminder. Trust your instincts, actually you don’t even need to - they are not even trying to look after the babies properly when a parent is there!

My experiences also to go into more depth. Some of these have been covered by other childcare workers on here.

Staff being all comforting when the upset child is left, as soon as the parent leaves the room, they are shouted at to be quiet and stop being silly.
Staff chatting amongst themselves when meant to be engaged with the kids (This happens a lot in every setting).
Double dose of medication given once to a child. Luckily he was fine.
General yelling at kids all day long for things like not listening, not sitting down, running around etc.
In a baby room one person left to deal with 8 babies while the other staff members are either preparing snack, changing nappies or updating the app.
Staff lying about the kids day saying that they have had a great time and been settled when they really have not.
Babies being yelled at for not using their cutlery at lunchtime.
Told not to pick up babies or cuddle them at all.
Have to add as well that the worst culprits were not the young girls but the workers in their 30's/40's who had kids of their own.
Will probably be flamed for this also but yes there is a required staff qualification in each room (A level 3, A level 2 at the least) but anyone can work in a nursery and many staff have very poor English which of course impacts on the kids and their learning.
They are toxic environments. I know a lot of people (myself included) who are working in them while waiting for a suitable nanny role. I can't wait to get out of it all. Let's not even get started on the low pay, bitchy staff and incredibly long hours. I care very much for the kids and like to think I am good at what I do. But I would be lying if I said it wasn't a soul destroying role a lot of the time. It's clear to see why workers are leaving in their droves.

When you run childcare on a for-profit model, mothers pay through the nose, workers are as young as possible and on NMW for their age and the owners get all the benefit.