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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much ‘rent’ for child

103 replies

Freshstarts22 · 21/02/2023 10:23

Inspired by a similar thread but different circumstances. 18 yr old, left education at 16 and had worked since. Usually earns over £1000pm but can occasionally be a bit lower. No outgoings as such but doesn’t eat much food at home so doesn’t really cost me in food ect.

when they left education I lost over £300pm in child benefit and UC. I work part time, single parent with a younger child too. I wanted to ask them for money at that time out of principle but didn’t.

Anyway, I’ve decided that 18yr old should be contributing towards bills now. Partly because I could really use the money, partly out of principle and partly because they need to learn how to be responsible.

How much is reasonable to ask for. £50pw?

OP posts:
Original poster
Freshstarts22 · 22/02/2023 21:15

Gwen82 · 22/02/2023 07:19

So he’s on min wage, no qualifications and likely to stay on or near mIn wage for life?

and you say he is aimless. No desire to save and you don’t seem to think highly of him at all!

🤷‍♀️ charge him. Don’t charge. Will likely all go the same way eventually anyway

That’s the current trajectory, yes. I’m pleased he is holding down a full time job but I do worry about future prospects. Hopefully he’ll rethink in a few years but at the moment he’s happy with what he’s got.

OP posts:
Original poster
Freshstarts22 · 22/02/2023 21:18

Skyeheather · 22/02/2023 07:35

Why should OP work more hours while her DC has £1000 a month to spend on whatever they like? How many people have £1000 a month disposable income?

If they are a working adult they need to pay their way.

Show quote history

Thank you. This is the point I wanted to make but didn’t know how to put it. I don’t exactly have it easy and it’s ridiculous that I would increase my hours, run myself into the ground and pay for childcare (which isn’t even an option for my child- can only be cared for by family) to enable my adult child to keep living for free.

OP posts:
Original poster
Freshstarts22 · 22/02/2023 21:19

LolaSmiles · 22/02/2023 07:50

I'm not a fan of charging children to live at home the second they turn 18, but with the extra information I think you're right to expect him to cover his costs for living at home.

He should cover his own living costs, but shouldn't be expected to make up the shortfall in your benefits/account for the fact you've chosen to work part time.

I haven’t really chosen to work part time. It’s all I can do. Even if I worked full time I would still have received UC and would still have lost the same amount.

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