Page 3 | How much ‘rent’ for child

Freshstarts22 · 2023-02-21T10:23:54+00:00

Inspired by a similar thread but different circumstances. 18 yr old, left education at 16 and had worked since. Usually earns over £1000pm but can occasionally be a bit lower. No outgoings as such but doesn’t eat much food at home so doesn’t really cost me in food ect. when they left education I lost over £300pm in child benefit and UC. I work part time, single parent with a younger child too. I wanted to ask them for money at that time out of principle but didn’t. Anyway, I’ve decided that 18yr old should be contributing towards bills now. Partly because I could really use the money, partly out of principle and partly because they need to learn how to be responsible. How much is reasonable to ask for. £50pw?

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 21/02/2023 20:21

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 20:01

Well he can move out and see how far his grand gets him when his mum still isnt subsidising him, if he doesn't like it. 200 quid is still mum subsidising him.

He's an adult and should pay.

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That's exactly why you shouldn't be charging. He would struggle to pay for a knackered old bedsit on that money. Which is why this is the only opportunity to save and potentially have enough to not be living like that permanently.

I have already said, charge what's needed or going on extravagant things. Beyond that, I wouldn't. Because it's not actually a lot of money in the real world.

Ragwort · 21/02/2023 20:28

Lady hopefully the DS will be seriously saving from his salary but there are numerous threads on here where DPs are subsidising their DC's living arrangements by not charging a sensible 'board and lodgings' rate and the young adults are just frittering away their money on holidays, social life, eating out etc etc and making no attempt to save ... and then complaining they can't afford to move out . Often these young adults have far more 'discretionary spending' amounts than the parents do ..

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 21/02/2023 20:38

My DC is in work also, not at uni. I think that's a different case.

WeAreBorg · 21/02/2023 20:49

OP it’s fair to charge them for whatever additional money they cost you to run your house, any more than that is making a profit from your child which I think is a bit dubious.

Is there any reason why you don’t work full time if you need the money?

If you want to charge rent then maybe get a lodger?

The “life lesson” people think they are teaching their kids by charging them arbitrary percentages of their income, is not the lesson they think it is. Additional costs - yeah fine. The kid needs to be saving for a house deposit, starting their LISA etc. not compensating his parents for lost child benefit by paying rent to keep his own bedroom.

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 20:53

WeAreBorg · 21/02/2023 20:49

OP it’s fair to charge them for whatever additional money they cost you to run your house, any more than that is making a profit from your child which I think is a bit dubious.

Is there any reason why you don’t work full time if you need the money?

If you want to charge rent then maybe get a lodger?

The “life lesson” people think they are teaching their kids by charging them arbitrary percentages of their income, is not the lesson they think it is. Additional costs - yeah fine. The kid needs to be saving for a house deposit, starting their LISA etc. not compensating his parents for lost child benefit by paying rent to keep his own bedroom.

On 800 quid a month (after paying 200 rent) he has enough to save a deposit. Maybe not for a car, flash holidays, the latest mobile, gym membership, takeaways AND a deposit, but enough for the deposit.

CurlsandCurves · 21/02/2023 20:58

I think from what you’ve said £200 a month is very reasonable. He gets to keep his home comforts and still has a decent amount to both spend and save. You get a top up towards what you no longer have in CB and UC.

Id definitely be encouraging him to save, set up a LISA etc.

WeAreBorg · 21/02/2023 20:59

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 20:53

On 800 quid a month (after paying 200 rent) he has enough to save a deposit. Maybe not for a car, flash holidays, the latest mobile, gym membership, takeaways AND a deposit, but enough for the deposit.

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Yeah £200 to pay for the additional cost of him living there seems sensible.
Charging him money over additional costs just to teach him a lesson is not okay.

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:02

If you can’t afford to provide for your children then you shouldn’t have them. The idea that children should have to pay for themselves once child benefit stops really gets my goat. How about paying for your child yourself rather than expecting the government (i.e., taxpayers), and then your child, to compensate you?

vodkaredbullgirl · 21/02/2023 21:04

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:02

If you can’t afford to provide for your children then you shouldn’t have them. The idea that children should have to pay for themselves once child benefit stops really gets my goat. How about paying for your child yourself rather than expecting the government (i.e., taxpayers), and then your child, to compensate you?

Who pissed on your chips.

didloswaggings · 21/02/2023 21:04

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/02/2023 10:43

I paid my mum £200 pm back in 2001!

Same here!!

RoseMartha · 21/02/2023 21:05

I think £50 pw is fair.

I also think when your children turn 18 they should contribute to the living costs. I dont get why a lot of parent's let their adult children live at home for free.
How can they learn to be financially responsible if they only spend it on what they want?

Even paying £200 a month to you OP gives you ds plenty of money to himself whether he is saving some or having to pay for a car or driving lessons and his phone as well as clothes and his social life.

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 21:10

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:02

If you can’t afford to provide for your children then you shouldn’t have them. The idea that children should have to pay for themselves once child benefit stops really gets my goat. How about paying for your child yourself rather than expecting the government (i.e., taxpayers), and then your child, to compensate you?

Lol. Good luck with that. Not all of us want our 35 year old children still living with us!

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:11

@vodkaredbullgirl I just feel sad on behalf of these children who don’t have a hope in hell of buying their own place (at least anything halfway decent) and are made to feel like lodgers in their own home!

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 21/02/2023 21:11

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:02

If you can’t afford to provide for your children then you shouldn’t have them. The idea that children should have to pay for themselves once child benefit stops really gets my goat. How about paying for your child yourself rather than expecting the government (i.e., taxpayers), and then your child, to compensate you?

🙄

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 21:11

Yes and I paid my parents 200 a month at 21years old, while I was on mat leave back in 200...and it was a bloody good deal then.

200 is more than reasonable.

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 21:12

Oh and I bought my first house at 25 (on DHs sole income)

vodkaredbullgirl · 21/02/2023 21:12

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 21:10

Lol. Good luck with that. Not all of us want our 35 year old children still living with us!

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I hope mine moves out, before she is 30 lol

WeAreBorg · 21/02/2023 21:26

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 21:12

Oh and I bought my first house at 25 (on DHs sole income)

Are you suggesting we charge our kids rent with the caveat that they find a rich husband so they can afford a house? I’d sort of like them to be independent…although I’m also a sucker for a rich bloke I must say 😂

Original poster

Freshstarts22 · 21/02/2023 21:42

Gwen82 · 21/02/2023 10:36

What’s their longer term plan? Are they studying? Or looks like minim wage jobs their future?

So far it’s unfortunately looking like minimum wage jobs as there’s no plan.

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Original poster

Freshstarts22 · 21/02/2023 21:43

TwilightSkies · 21/02/2023 10:43

Are you able to increase your working hours?

No, have a younger disabled child so childcare is difficult.

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AllWorkYoPlait · 21/02/2023 21:44

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:02

If you can’t afford to provide for your children then you shouldn’t have them. The idea that children should have to pay for themselves once child benefit stops really gets my goat. How about paying for your child yourself rather than expecting the government (i.e., taxpayers), and then your child, to compensate you?

For me it's not about when child benefit stops, it's about when they're an adult earning a full time wage. Why would they expect to live for free? Should I move back in with my own mother so I don't have to fork out £1700 a month in rent? It sounds quite appealing to be honest

If a "child" isn't saving for uni costs and they're working full time, they can contribute to the household.

Original poster

Freshstarts22 · 21/02/2023 21:48

Danneigh · 21/02/2023 11:59

I agree he should be paying something towards wherever he lives. Your reasons are a bit skewed in that you lost CB, you had 18 years notice on losing that money and its not up to him to replace that. However of course he should be paying something towards costs of where he lives.

yes and no. I expected it I get it until 18, but when a child leaves education and begins working full time it all stops. So I wasn’t quite prepared for losing it at 16.

To answer some questions, he pays for all of his own clothes and entertainment and really doesn’t cost me much in food. It’s more just a contribution towards bills and also I lost my 25% council tax reduction for being a single adult. I’ve recently got a new job that pays a little better and has better prospects but I can’t do more hours right now.

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AllWorkYoPlait · 21/02/2023 21:48

Donkeyotey · 21/02/2023 21:11

@vodkaredbullgirl I just feel sad on behalf of these children who don’t have a hope in hell of buying their own place (at least anything halfway decent) and are made to feel like lodgers in their own home!

But I'm also struggling to buy my own house and I'm almost 40! 😅

If I and DH bail the kids out indefinitely (FWIW they're actually my stepkids and they have a mother who contributes zero to their upbringing), I'll be living in the bins!

Dacadactyl · 21/02/2023 21:49

WeAreBorg · 21/02/2023 21:26

Are you suggesting we charge our kids rent with the caveat that they find a rich husband so they can afford a house? I’d sort of like them to be independent…although I’m also a sucker for a rich bloke I must say 😂

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Lol if I actually told you how much he earned when we bought the house, you wouldn't believe me anyway! Suffice to say, it was a poor wage by any standards.

Original poster

Freshstarts22 · 21/02/2023 21:50

ImAGoodPerson · 21/02/2023 12:16

Yes I agree with this. I hardly paid any rent, I think only about £40 a month as I was saving for a house. I paid for my itemised phone bill plus the extra to have sky multiroom also. My £40 covered a contribution towards food really and was just a token amount really. I saved hard for a house deposit so my parents were happy not to charge more.

If they were struggling for money or if I wasn't actively trying to buy a house then I would totally understand charging more.

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Unfortunately buying a house isn’t even on the radar and is an extremely unlikely prospect at the moment with no qualifications, ambitions, and a minimum wage job. Money is just being frittered away every month.

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