If another child says hello to your child...

[SleepingStandingUp]

Would they say hello back if they didn't know them?

DS is 7, av for his age, occasionally confused for a girl given his lovely hair.

He always says hello to any kids that walk past or on the bus, he's not always great at eye contact but it's clear he's talking to them. So many of them just look right through him and I then end up saying l, when he goes to try again to not, perhaps they're shy etc. But he always looks so sad. He'll also shout out and tell people he really likes their top or hat if it's a cool one. Again, mostly ignored or looked through.

AIBU to let him say hi and say I like your top etc? We've had the stranger conversation but he loves nothing more than a chatty person on the bus 🙄and I've not yet learnt a way to shit him up

Do you inwardly judge us if its your child he says hello to? Do you teach me your kids no talking to strangers inc's kids to their own age?

Tb clear, he Def looks 7, av height, slim, longish hair so there's no way he looks intimidating or threatening or aggressive.

DD is nearly 9 and would say hi back, but she'd probably be confused if she didn't know the other kid.

DS is 4.5 and would 100% hide behind me and refuse to speak, even if he did know them!

My kids aren't crippled with shyness but they wouldn't respond. They're lovely children but need to get to know people to open up.

It sounds like your child is extroverted. That's really lovely, he'll just need reminding that some people are shy/tired/concentrating etc and can't always talk back. That communication is complicated and people don't like to do it in the same way all the time. A smile might be a more appropriate introduction.

As he gets older, I'd work on boundaries if he's still commenting on people's appearances etc as some people will find that a bit off.

My 7 year old would probably be the one saying hi first and giving her entire life story without being asked....my 3 year old however will look straight down at the ground, freeze and say nothing until the stranger has passed (at which point she will happily announce - he was very nice, I was a little bit shy of him). So absolutely no judgement either way here.

My 5yo DD is just like yours. Talks to anyone and everyone. I just explain that some others find conversation with new people a little tricky and to give them time to warm up, but that it's good to be friendly.
I have occasionally thought I probably really to do a bit more "stranger danger" chat as she's so open. Sad that I have to.

My DGS (nearly 6) would say hi back - my DDs probably wouldn't have at that age though.

My DGS often joins other families when we're out at the park and I have to coax him back. I'm really antisocial so it can be excruciating to go out with a little chatty man who wants us to be everybody's friend 😅

"Other kids have their own issues going on and are not there to validate you child just because he looks sad."

Bloody hell. This site!

My kids would have said hi if your son walked past us or was at a park at the same time. They wouldn't want to chat on a bus though.

Considering that we teach kids not to talk to strangers in real life or online, it's easy to imagine that this is explained or interpreted as "only weirdos want to know details about a child" (I am assuming that a conversation with your son might be a list of questions like what their name might be and where they are going) I know that your son means well and is just curious about people but I think that your approach to let him be himself is less common these days. (I think what you're doing is great btw. He's clearly an extrovert who enjoys the company of others )

As he gets older, I'd work on boundaries if he's still commenting on people's appearances etc as some people will find that a bit off.
You'd find it off if someone said they liked your t-shirt or bag in general, or just if it's a man? I do think navigating this is harder for boy parents

My son is 7, depending on where we were he would say hi back. He made a lovely friend on a recent caravan holiday. They cried when they had to say goodbye to each other. So sweet.

That's right only show part of the post and take it right out of context

For context this was the whole post.see right out of context.

@PeekAtYou haha more likely to come back knowing of they like Sonic and ducks than their name. Were working on his personal skills ..

No they wouldn't 2 of mine are autistic and don't like other kids approaching that they don't know and one is selective mute he rarely talks to the kids he does know from school! Let alone strangers Hope that's ok with you ...

My 7 year old smiles and says hello to everyone and chats away to anyone. She makes friends easily and everywhere! I think it's a lovely trait personally and I wish I had such a sunny disposition!

My 9 year old would say hello back but wouldn't instigate.

^^ This. I'm the same as an adult and would automatically think they were saying hello to someone behind me. I also only wave back if a boat/train or horse and carriage are involved due to the same reason.

I also hate having to talk to a chatty child. Please take them away after the initial hello.

I think you'll have to be the judge if what he is doing is a bit clunky socially and to guide him in a way that is going to helpful to him as he gets older. I feel like I am the only voice of negativity, I am not sure he should be told ot is ok to engage with people he doesn't know . Yes possibly.loveky but he also needs to know social norms or he will attract negative reactions, it is your job to help him navigate this.

I went back and read the rest of the thread. It seems you are teaching him the right things and you just have an extra bubbly child. Enjoy him whilst teaching

My boys at that age would not have replied - too shy by far . I’m still not sure one of them would at 14 .. the younger one would be polite

I always say morning to people when out running or walking .. but I think it’s something that lots people seem to not do these days which is a shame

At what point have I said I have an issue with you or your kids if they don't say hello? I've repeatedly said it's more about whether I'm wrong in letting him try and that as a child I absolutely would have froze and spoken to a stranger. I've also not had a go at a single person on this thread who's said my kid won't talk to your, I won't talk to yours or keep your kid away from me so not sure why I'm getting such PA

I’d encourage my DC to say hi back because it’s polite but I know they're a bit shy and awkward so probably wouldn’t without the prompt.

I don't disagree re social norms and helping him navigate it etc, but then I think so I want to perpetuate a social norm where we all sit there head down ignoring each other. As long as there's good manners and respect on both sides and I can get some stranger danger awareness into him isn't it better to encourage people to engage with each other when it's safe for them to do so?

@Pixiedust1234 I think it's having a speech delay, finally after lockdown (so 51/2) people could mostly understand him with only some help from me. Now two years later most people can understand most of what he says and if not he can now normally work around it or I help but rarely

I would think he’s really sweet and would encourage my child to respond. But tbh there’s a good chance my child wouldn’t respond. It takes him a while to process for a start so by that time yous would probably be far on by.

Now if he says the word sonic he’s much more likely to get my 7yr old to respond to him lol. Sonic is life!

You child sounds lovely OP. I love to meet a chatty little kid and would be delighted if he said hello to me one morning.