To feel so resentful of having no evening

[Bedtooearly]

My DS (2) wakes at 5. I’m not necessarily looking for advice on this because believe me I have tried … and for a while myriad of reasons it is me who gets up with him, a couple of times a week I get to go back to bed for an hour or so but I’m always awake by then anyway.

I have to be asleep by nine which means in bed by 830, and it’s really shit. Even so I’m knackered all the time, there does seem a difference in going to bed at 10 and up at 630 and going to bed at 9 and up at 5, I once briefly had to do this because of trains and I was always knackered then as well. I regularly get a headache, have cracks in my lips that won’t heal, spots and grey, tired skin.

I know kids wake early but AIBU to be really fed up with it?

Get a Groclock

Get a blood test for vitamin B12, folate & ferritin.

Getting up before cbeebies is painful. I used to let DS sit in our bed with the ipad for a bit. It does pass, he's five now and still an early riser but we use a gro clock to keep him in his room until 7:00

clocks going forward next month, use that to your advantage

It’s so awful feeling tired all the time! And totally get what you mean about a 5am-9pm day making you much more tired than getting up at 7 and going to bed at 11. What’s horrible is the lack of choice - you can never wake up naturally, and you have to be “on” immediately. I like a good hour to come round in silence 😂

Early starts (5am or earlier) really suck OP. Both my children woke early, so I have years of experience. I see you are pregnant too, so life will be changing for you in the future.

I sometimes went to bed early 8pmish, but mostly stayed horrifically sleep deprived.

Given you will be having a baby, your partner needs to step up and now. Most couples a know the dad deals with the toddler and the mum the baby because doing all night feeds/ early mornings is the way to burnout.

I would discuss with your partner and split the early mornings right now so you get a lie in.

Looking back I've no idea why I didn't ask more from him. I was working a demanding job at the time and absolutely knackered.

You have my absolute sympathy.I didn't have another dc because of this.Ds is 9 now and started waking later as each year went by.His record was this Xmas after a late night visiting family..10.45am 🥳
I survived the early years by having an energy drink around 10am it gave me more of a boost than coffee.

My dd was an early riser and it's utterly shot, but it doesn't last. Try and hold onto that, might feel you can't see the end of the tunnel but there is one. Mine is now 15, has an inset day today, she's unlikely to surface before 11am. There was a time that a 6am surface felt like a win. Hang in there

People have different sleep needs, though. I’ve never been able to cope on seven or eight hours, and when I’m on my period it’s more like a need for 11 hours. Obviously with small DC I do cope but like the OP, I look and feel like shit, so I prioritise sleep over time. Which is shit: ideally I’d get both. When DD started sleeping through I genuinely reverse-aged about a decade just from the extra sleep.

Groclocks? Ha that’s never worked! DS just used to call me to tell me how many stars were left on it or used to get up to press the buttons to make the sun go up. It’s funny now I look back on it.

So you are pregnant. Okay well that changes things. You will be more tired because of that. Take it easy during the day. Sleep when they do. Good luck !!

Don’t waste your money on training clocks. A toddler that is awake and wants to be with their Mummy isn’t going to care what time it is!! 😄

Is he very active in the day? My son was an awful sleeper and non verbal till 3.5. I discovered more recently that he sleeps well if he walks four miles a day. We do this in small chunks. In the holidays he has walked, swam and cycled every day and slept 12 hours. I wish I’d know earlier as all the activity is great for me and it’s so nice to have some sleep.
He seems so much happier now he is well rested and exercising. You could try swimming and soft play.

Same, he used to bring it in to us and say it wasn't working as it wasn't on morning yet 😂 DS1 was great with the gro clock, DS2 wasn't and he was such a early riser. However we never got up with him earlier than 6, he had to play in his room and when we went downstairs we never got toys out and he was only allowed boring time till 7. Meant we could chill on the sofa rather than being on high alert.

He got better with age at occupying himself then one Christmas we kept him up late every night as had family round, he woke normal time for first 2 or 3 days then after that slept in for rest of Xmas holidays. He then never woke early after that.

Some genuinely do, DS1 would wait to even get out of bed let alone play with toys till it went off. We could hear him chatting/singing to himself. DS2 it was a waste of time with.

I’ve had 3 kids and anything before 6am was still night time to me. As in I treated 5 am the same as 2am. Pitch black room was the key. Not a chink of light. Blackout roller blind followed by very heavy black out curtians which went a way over the edges of the window. If they wined or cried it was a cuddle and back down until at least 6.
i did start this from the beginning though and that was always the rule so they learned a sleeping pattern and got into a habit.

Early morning waking (pre 6am) is normally caused by overtiredness.
As counterintuitive as it is, an earlier bedtime can really help.

Ok in the name of transparency - I’m an early riser and 5am really isn’t THAT early

Oh do shut up. It's early as fuck. Not to mention - as night workers will tell you - you circadian rhythm is all off when you're awake when you should be asleep, so it's not really about 'getting enough sleep'.

Are you working? Can you try and get him in bed later?

I think I would have perished if my kids were early risers. When toddlers we all had to be up for work and nursery so it wasn't too bad, but I was SO lucky my twins napped until they were well into 4 and by then we had a Gro Clock so they knew not to get up before the clock was green!

@ChiefWiggumsBoy aren’t you a delight!? 😍 Maybe have yourself a coffee and a slice of stfu.

What is your dc sleep schedule like? At 2, I had to drop naps for my dc and they went to bed 7pm-7am, otherwise if they had a nap, even a 30 minutes nap they would sleep 10pm! It sucks not getting evenings....even though my dc sleep in, I no longer get evenings as the older ones sleep at 10pm!

Gro clock has been a revelation to me! £5 off amazon market place and an absolute game changer. Like I said, he is 5 though!

One thing that helped ( actually got the tip on here- thank you random poster whose name I can’t remember) was when they wake up before whatever time you deem reasonable, it is the no fun zone. So no tv/ iPad, no books, no playing with them. I would supervise them playing independently but that was it. There was then no incentive to wake up early. Might be coincidence but after a few weeks they did sleep longer.

probably doesn’t always work but might be worth a try.

i sympathise- I think you’re right about body clocks- I am the other way round- late nights kill me no matter how late I sleep.

I had an early riser… I use to remember going to work for 9 feeling like I’d already done a full shift!

i second multivitamin and lots of water.

My children are in their 30s now and I still remember the trauma of the 'awake and ready to play at 5am' phase. It is absolute shit.

But... This Too Shall Pass, OP.

It is really tough, you have my sympathies. Those days are mostly over for me, but I remember feeling so miffed that my babies were wide awake long before cbeebies started for the day 😅

As others have said, it does pass and you incrementally get some vitality back. I think as we edge in to summer, waking up early is less depressing as the sun being up helps as well.