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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for only on Mumsnet facts/opinions? ( light-hearted)

319 replies

bluelollipop99 · 19/02/2023 21:22

I'll start....

It doesn't matter you have two kids and have lived together five years , he's your boyfriend, not your partner if you are not married...

You are a terrible mother if you introduce a partner of less than two years to your children...

The on the beach advert is mentally scarring...

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 20/02/2023 08:20

But racism doesn't exist, even if something seems racist, it isn't.

marshmallowhearts · 20/02/2023 08:27

All Mumsnetters are hourglass figured with huge boobs (does anything less than G cup even exist??)

tillyoumakeit · 20/02/2023 08:29

Boys are the work of the devil. Their lives are focused on upsetting precious little girls with their nasty rowdy boy behaviour. Yuk. If you discover you are having a boy at your 'gender scan' start a thread here about your disappointment.

PumpkinSoup21 · 20/02/2023 08:32

That people reaching out for emotional support on a difficult issue via an internet forum because they don’t have anyone else to talk to need to be told to get over themselves, get a grip, give their heads a wobble, suck it up, think about what it was like in my day, be thankful it’s not worse, etc.

Sorry - that wasn’t very lighthearted!

backoftheplane · 20/02/2023 08:34

I really needed this thread this morning - thank you!

AmIBeingUnreasonableThisTime · 20/02/2023 08:35

You’re not a step mum unless you’re married 🙄🙄🙄 even if you’ve been in the child’s life for yonks.

STEP MUMS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE GETTING INTO SO CANT COMPLAIN. EVER.

thecatsthecats · 20/02/2023 08:36

80k isn't a huge salary. Not after you take the obligatory school fees into account.

Original poster
bluelollipop99 · 20/02/2023 08:36

If you have more than two children you are a selfish dick who enjoys hurting the planet

OP posts:
Daisybee6 · 20/02/2023 08:37

bluelollipop99 · 19/02/2023 22:23

Also to add, hatred of baby showers/ hen do's / Elf on the shelf

I genuinely hate all of those 😆

MuchHatred · 20/02/2023 08:39

Off lead dogs should be shot on sight.

Original poster
bluelollipop99 · 20/02/2023 08:39

Fizbosshoes · 20/02/2023 07:52

You shouldn't socialise, or be friends with any of the following groups;
Work colleagues
School mums
Neighbours
In laws

Yes to this

Also all mumsnetters hate playgroup/ baby groups. They are all clique, boring bitches who only talk about babies

OP posts:
BenCoopersSupportWren · 20/02/2023 08:39

You must ban all visitors for a minimum of three months after giving birth, in order to adjust to being “your own little family” now.

If a DH/DP turns out to be a lazy shiftless wanker after an OP gives birth, then “why did you have children with this man?” is the most helpful response possible.

Everyone has family and friends within walking distance willing to help out in every situation.

Ptolemy is a perfectly normal name, nurseries are bursting with little Ptolemies.

Cultural references from 1985 will be the reason your child is bullied for their name.

You must always give your baby a “long” form of your preferred name for them on their birth certificate, in case they grow up to be a barrister or politician.

If your DH/DP wants to go on an expensive trip with friends that you’ve explained in detail in your OP that you can’t afford as a family, you must not only agree to him going but also book an equivalent solo holiday for yourself.

Daisybee6 · 20/02/2023 08:42

Poster doesn't get responses they were expecting so throws in that they are ND a couple of pages in

WinterFoxes · 20/02/2023 08:44

On MN: Your MiL showing any interest in your child is beyond intrusive and she needs to firmly be given her marching orders. DC certainly should not be encouraged to offer physical contact in case it violates their sense of self.

In RL: Kids! Granny's here! Give her a hug and I'll stick the kettle on.

Saschka · 20/02/2023 08:48

bussteward · 20/02/2023 08:01

Landlording isn’t a choice, it’s simply a mad accident that befalls people but they’re dead benevolent with it, give tenants the shirt off their own back, and in fact their tenants say they’re the best landlord they’ve ever had and wouldn’t ever want to own their own place because it wouldn’t be as good as being the tenant to the accidental landlord, who simply tripped and fell face-first in a load of extra properties.

Oh god this, 100% 😂

Ohifyouinsist · 20/02/2023 08:49

Anyone aged 60 or over living somewhere with more than 1 bedroom should immediately move out of their home to free it up for younger families.

Anyone aged 60 or over has never had any financial worries because they bought a house for £3.50 and have gold plated pensions.

Children shouldn't stay overnight with family members until they are at least 10.

Don't allow any family (especially the in laws) to see your baby until you are ready, which will be at least 2 weeks.

Selttan · 20/02/2023 08:49

If you decide to go out for a birthday dinner with friends or family you must pay for everyone

honeylulu · 20/02/2023 08:53

You shouldn't socialise, or be friends with any of the following groups;
Work colleagues
School mums
Neighbours
In laws

Yes and you shouldn't consider your husband a friend either because that's pathetic.

However if your friends let you down in any way just cut them loose and "get new friends ". But not from any of the above groups obviously because they'll have their own friends and will think you are desperate and needy for trying to talk to them.

GreenWheat · 20/02/2023 08:55

You must profess never to answer the door to unexpected visitors. If you take in a parcel for a neighbour, instead of just popping round there with it, you must turn it into an elaborate power game of parcel chicken.

honeylulu · 20/02/2023 08:56

"Growing a human" is the most amazing thing ever and everyone must honour your saintly choice sacrifice. regardless of the fact that it's how we all got here and it's entirely commonplace

Abra1t · 20/02/2023 08:58

sugarcone · 20/02/2023 08:07

Everyone is NC with at least one family member (usually their mother)

… because she’s a narcissist.

GreenWheat · 20/02/2023 08:59

If you dare to post any holiday photos on social media, you must be a truly awful insensitive person who should "read the room" in case one of your friends can't afford a holiday this year. And woe betide anyone who posts photos of their children, especially if they have achieved something memorable. You heinous, braggy cow!

Cuppsoupmonster · 20/02/2023 09:07

All sons are ‘strapping’ even if they’re not
All daughters are tall, slim and have been asked if they’re models - but luckily she sees through that nonsense and is concentrating on her A-levels so she can apply to study medicine

All men are misogynistic monsters and women should stay away from them. Not the poster’s ‘dear son’ though, definitely not, any woman would be lucky to marry him one day, because he’s been ‘brought up to be a feminist’ and thinks his friends are sexist pigs

Poster’s kids definitely don’t do drugs or drink at parties, and they know this because their teen has said so and they wouldn’t disclose that they’re off to do ket and shag birds anyway

In the same vein their DH would never cheat even though they never have sex and he’s started working late.

Anapana · 20/02/2023 09:10

No matter what tragedy is befalling you right now, a spa day is the answer.

WandaWonder · 20/02/2023 09:13

I can't remember if it is dogs or toddlers, same thing really, but there is lots of 'advanced' somebody

Advanced/genuis compard to what I have no idea

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