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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for only on Mumsnet facts/opinions? ( light-hearted)

319 replies

bluelollipop99 · 19/02/2023 21:22

I'll start....

It doesn't matter you have two kids and have lived together five years , he's your boyfriend, not your partner if you are not married...

You are a terrible mother if you introduce a partner of less than two years to your children...

The on the beach advert is mentally scarring...

OP posts:
LaviniasBigBloomers · 20/02/2023 07:45

All salads are enormous.

Cooking is easy, just get a hold of Jamie's Ministry of Food.

All poor adult behaviour is linked to anxiety, even if you know with every breath in your being that your friend of 30 years is just a bit of a lazy cow with a lax attitude towards timekeeping and has been since uni, you need to never pull her up or even feel a bit cross about the eons of your time she's wasted cos anxious.

Having a crush on James Norton in Happy Valley is weird.

People care about the Royal Family.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 20/02/2023 07:49

People my age (50) can't possibly afford to retire and should be working full time until they're 70 or dead

Renoir56 · 20/02/2023 07:50

Don't ever under any circumstances answer your doorbell.

Or let a tradesperson use your loo.

Saschka · 20/02/2023 07:51

The average height of a teenage son is 6 foot 3.

All “beanpoles” as well. Nobody has a short stocky teenager. All eat “like horses”, followed by detailed description of somebody eating ten leaves of bread and five packets of biscuits as a light snack. The poster themselves never eats more than a “substantial salad” though.

LolaSmiles · 20/02/2023 07:51

Don't ever under any circumstances answer your doorbell
And go low contact with anyone who dares suggest they might visit with less than 47 days notice and a very very good reason.

Fizbosshoes · 20/02/2023 07:52

You shouldn't socialise, or be friends with any of the following groups;
Work colleagues
School mums
Neighbours
In laws

Siameasy · 20/02/2023 07:54

If someone’s impossibly rude and treats you like shit, give them the benefit of the doubt and be kind
However, if DH is acting oddly-start following him. Put a tracker in his car. If the sexes were reversed this would be “appalling”.
If you see a strange person in the street, log it with 101.
Your 17 is a Ch1Ld and VuLn3rAbLe
All women are scared to exist.

AllOfThemWitches · 20/02/2023 07:58

If you are having relationship problems you should:

A. Ltb

B. Assume that, if your partner is male, he's having an affair

quinceh · 20/02/2023 08:00

OP why have you started a thread on this? Aren’t there already enough threads on this? And do you actually have children, and if not why are you on MUMsnet? I’m genuinely baffled. (etc)

bussteward · 20/02/2023 08:01

Landlording isn’t a choice, it’s simply a mad accident that befalls people but they’re dead benevolent with it, give tenants the shirt off their own back, and in fact their tenants say they’re the best landlord they’ve ever had and wouldn’t ever want to own their own place because it wouldn’t be as good as being the tenant to the accidental landlord, who simply tripped and fell face-first in a load of extra properties.

GreenWheat · 20/02/2023 08:03

Being unaware of popular culture makes you intellectually superior. You must come onto threads about celebrities with the words "I have never heard of them, I don't have time for such fripperies"

MySugarBabyLove · 20/02/2023 08:05

Nobody can just be an arsehole any more. If someone treats you like shit you should consider whether:

They have mh issues.

They’re on the spectrum.

Or they’re starting with early onset dementia.

GreenWheat · 20/02/2023 08:06

If a small boy enters the women's loos he should be surrounded, admonished and ejected immediately and his mother must be roundly whipped.

sugarcone · 20/02/2023 08:07

Everyone is NC with at least one family member (usually their mother)

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2023 08:08

All teenage boys are up to no good. If you say yours aren’t you will be told they definitely are you just don’t know it. 😂

AllOfThemWitches · 20/02/2023 08:08

GreenWheat · 20/02/2023 08:06

If a small boy enters the women's loos he should be surrounded, admonished and ejected immediately and his mother must be roundly whipped.

Or in one case, he should be assaulted.

Tempone · 20/02/2023 08:08

Everything smells too strong and gives you a raging headache, candles, fabric softener, perfume etc.
I only use white vinegar to clean my entire house top to bottom.

SweetSenorita · 20/02/2023 08:10

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 20/02/2023 00:24

If you wear heels you are a pathetic loser catering to men's fetishes and desires (so I've just learned) 😳🤯🤣

Indeed. Same applies if you shave your bikini area 🤷🤦‍♀️

CaffeineAndCrochet · 20/02/2023 08:12

A withering stare and a "did you mean to be so rude?" is the most cutting response when someone insults you.

Fizbosshoes · 20/02/2023 08:14

If you don't have at least 3 showers a day, or if you wear an item of clothing for more than 4 hours, everyone else will notice you really stink, your work colleagues will be retching, but too polite to say anything

AllOfThemWitches · 20/02/2023 08:15

CaffeineAndCrochet · 20/02/2023 08:12

A withering stare and a "did you mean to be so rude?" is the most cutting response when someone insults you.

A tinkly/breezy laugh and a head tilt is also a good response in many situations.

crew2022 · 20/02/2023 08:17

All MILs are pure evil. They have no right to be interested in you, your children or even their own adult son. They should stay well away from a new baby and also have no expectation about seeing the family at any kind of public holiday and definitely not Christmas.
If they are ever asked to babysit or host a meal, obviously out if pure desperation, and they make any suggestions about timings or venue then your DH should attend alone and you should stay at home with the baby. Their suggestions are always pure manipulation and disrespectful.

AllOfThemWitches · 20/02/2023 08:18

Any criticism of a woman is anti feminist.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2023 08:19

Fizbosshoes · 20/02/2023 08:14

If you don't have at least 3 showers a day, or if you wear an item of clothing for more than 4 hours, everyone else will notice you really stink, your work colleagues will be retching, but too polite to say anything

However if you have more than one shower a week you are selfish because water.

Mamansparkles · 20/02/2023 08:19

One must never be friends with one's colleagues, discuss your personal life or weekend plans with them, contact them or see them outside work hours or enjoy friendly banter in the office.
If you or your partner have a friend of the opposite sex it is an Emotional Affair. Even if you're gay.
LTB.
Everything your child says must be taken as entirely truthful and accurate, even if they are 2 years old. The police will certainly agree and investigate the alleged arson attack at nursery that Fireman Sam put out.