Christening

[SarsonsVinegar]

There's currently a thread on here asking for opinions on wedding vow renewals. This has made me think ...

I'd like to know people's opinions on having their baby christened.

My mum is a practising Christian and actually asked me not to have my son christened and to let him make his own decision when he's old enough.

Her reason for this is that she thinks too many people have their baby christened for the wrong reason, because the parents and the godparents do not go to church yet promise to bring the children up in a Christian way of life. However the parents and godparents only go to church for weddings and funerals.

Basically, they appear to just want a party!

Instead my mum took my son to church as a baby and the vicar prayed that he would have a happy and healthy life!

@mumoffourminimes

Absolutely and the people who think they have got something over on people by buying a bible. Imagine using something that has religious significance to many people as some sort of gotcha.

Yes, imagine buying a bible or something that has religious significance as a gift for a religious ceremony!!!!!!

Seems a bit wasteful if they get 20/30/40 bibles. With people I know a bible is something that Godparents buy not every guest. There are many other gifts that have religious significance, a rosary, a cross, stories of the Saints.

The original post really smacked of, "You want presents, well I'm getting a bible as some sort of passive aggressive statement." Which is decidedly odd.

How many bibles do you think the child needs? Let's be honest the comment about giving a bible wasn't about the giver being thoughtful. We aren't stupid you know.

I agree @ancientgran

It was patently an excuse for a party. I bought the baby a Bible. If you want to use a religious ceremony as an excuse to get presents, fine by me, but the presents I get will be religious ones!

So judgemental, does anyone actually have a baptism for the presents? I can assure you by the time I had fed and watered the guests I hadn't made a profit with gifts. They all got bibles from godparents, they also got things like a set of Beatrix Potter books, an ornament for their bedroom or a small toy. Maybe other people get lavish stuff.

I'm not sure why I've been dragging into your comment @IrritableCowSyndrome. The pp who commented about gifting bibles did come across as mean spirited as someone else has said.

A Bible is a precious gift and there are so many different versions of Children's bibles. If you would like to gift one I suggest asking the parents specifically which version they prefer.

Like others have said if everyone attending buys a Bible you'll end up with 20/30 bibles, which is wasteful.

Each of my children have their own bibles gifted specially from a special person.

We staying no gifts on invites incidentally. Maybe I'm missing out? 🤔🤣

I'm pretty sure the OP's DM will want the grandchildren to be showing and interest and probably baptised by the time they are that age @Parky04

Well, this varies in different denominations........ talking of "confident assertations which are wrong!"

Hah! You're right. I'm talking about historic usage in the very earliest church. Things have indeed changed from then. Obviously the words 'baptism' and 'christ' predate Jesus.

We didn’t have our daughters christened as it felt hypocritical as neither of us are churchgoers. My husband was brought up in a very religious ‘sect’. None of his family came to our wedding as it wasn’t in their church and as we had a register office wedding they felt this was not a ‘true’ wedding. I am a Christmas churchgoer only so was happy not to have our children christened. We had naming days for each of them, a gathering of our friends and family to welcome the child, tell everyone their names and to wish them well in their lives.

I totally agree with your mother. I'm 48 and my parents did the same for us and even though we went to C of E school (primary & middle) none of us ever got baptised. I think a lot of people do it to get into certain schools. It does seem to be a thing to do nowadays, like baby showers, which I also don't agree with.

Does it piss you off that those people celebrate Christmas as well, OP?

Neither of my dds are christened, we had a naming ceremony for them both, they were a lovely celebration of welcome for them both. Neither my dh or myself are religious but have a healthy respect for religion, a faith is a beautiful thing but its not for us. We would be massive hypocrites getting them christened, if they decide to do so themselves in later life that's their choice and we'd respect them for it. We didn't get married in church for exactly the same reason.

I'm not the OP, but I see a big difference between people enjoying a couple of Bank Holidays and some parties even though they are not Christians, as being a far cry from people standing up and saying that they not only believe in God, but also promising that they are going to bring their children up in a faith that they have absolutely no intention of doing so.

100% with your mum on this. Religion is something very personal to individuals & not something to be used as an excuse for a party. Let your child choose.

I think it’s disrespect to genuine Christians when people do christenings & they don’t actually follow through on the promises they make. If you want to have a part have a party but don’t waste the priest’s time (I’m an atheist)

You can have a very personal belief that Baptising your child is the right thing to do.

I don't know why everyone is going on about parties, you can have a Baptism without a party. I was Baptised at 5 days old at the first Sunday Mass after my birth. My mother wasn't even well enough to attend, my dad took me to Mass and my grandparents stood as my godparents. No party required, no gifts required.

I think christenings/baptisms of babies should really only be for people who plan to bring their child up in that faith. I’m god parent to a child who was christened and never went to church and agreed at the time as close relative and fall out would have been worse. But it does seem hypocritical to me. I’m a Christian and church goer and my children were baptised. We attend church weekly. They attend a church school. They’ve made their first holy communion - their choice. They will choose if they want to make their confirmation. One has decided to start that preparation. My youngest child is the only child in her class that attends church yet 90% we’re probably baptised so they could get into the school, and about a third made their first holy communion. It was similar for eldest as well. They do have some children at the school who are refugees and are Muslim who obviously don’t attend the church. They were placed at the school due to where had spaces then further siblings have since continued to attend. No issue with that at all. Oh and also we had our children baptised as part of the regular weekly Mass. we invited additional friends and relatives but our regular church friends were there already. Many people who’s baptisms I’ve been invited to have asked for the quick 20-30 minute stand alone service at a separate time to the regular church service.

I was baptised C of E but made a conscious choice as an older teen to become a catholic. I didn’t need re baptising. I made my confirmation and first holy communion at the same time though after several months of lessons. I do agree though that this isn’t something that happens a lot. I was brought up more as a Christmas and Easter church goer. We did do Sunday school for a while when I was very young but don’t have much memory of that. As a student at uni I attended a range of Christian churches though and joined the uni Christian union. As an adult now I stick with my RC choice I made as a teen but do miss the days of non denominational Christian unions.

It's a difficult one. As a practicing Christian it has not been a personal issue (all my children are baptised), but there is a big tension between being puritanical about baptism being only for the faithful and making sure the church is accessible for all and remains at part of the community (at least as an Anglican). I'm on the side of keeping the church open and welcoming all for baptisms, weddings and funerals.

There are as many different views of baptism as there are denominations really.

I don't think for many of us it is about presents at all. There might be a bible, a religious book, rosary beads, a cheque perhaps or a small teddy bear but it is nothing to do with getting presents.

Most of the major Uk religions are fairly open although it is the C of E which is the official church and will baptise I think anyone whereas other religions may tend to require one of the parents to be of that religion.

I don't know about other denominations but the Catholic church follows the Nicene Creed which says, "I believe in one baptism for the forgiveness of sins." So no need for a 2nd baptism.

So no need for a 2nd baptism.

I have a friend (this is in the US) who was baptized as a teen in the Southern Baptist Church (full immersion), then in his 20s became Episcopalian (the US version of CofE); in his 30s married a Catholic and converted to Catholicism, and is now a Methodist. That first baptism served for all.