Christening

[SarsonsVinegar]

There's currently a thread on here asking for opinions on wedding vow renewals. This has made me think ...

I'd like to know people's opinions on having their baby christened.

My mum is a practising Christian and actually asked me not to have my son christened and to let him make his own decision when he's old enough.

Her reason for this is that she thinks too many people have their baby christened for the wrong reason, because the parents and the godparents do not go to church yet promise to bring the children up in a Christian way of life. However the parents and godparents only go to church for weddings and funerals.

Basically, they appear to just want a party!

Instead my mum took my son to church as a baby and the vicar prayed that he would have a happy and healthy life!

My children were baptised, none of them went to church schools and schools had nothing to do with our choices.

It's a rite of passage I suppose. If you have an established church, as we do in England, then it's not unreasonable to think that it is there for that sort of thing. We are Catholic, which is a bit different but still with that cultural element, and I've not known a family turned down for baptism in our church, practising or not.

I say we are Catholic. I am. DH is Anglican. Our children were baptised in the Catholic Church. Neither are practising any more.

I was christened as a baby and went to church until age 8 (incidentally at the time my parents split so I reckon it must have been a case of my dad wanting us to go... although my parents never went, it was just us kids being sent to Sunday school!)
I'm not religious in the slightest and don't want my daughters christened, I don't see the point in christenings if you are not going to practice the religion

Different Christian traditions have different approaches to baptism - so adult/believer's baptism vs baby baptism.

I grew up in a church practicing believers baptism, DH in a church which did infant baptism (RC). I was quite(very) judgmental about people and churches that went into infant baptism until I went to a load of them with DH and attended a new church that also did it.

I realised it was not my place to say what was right and wrong. My DC are baptised, I recognise that they need to decide for themselves what they believe when they are older but we've made a choice to baptise so they know that we care enough to express a preference! The number of judgy christians on this thread is predictable but disappointing I think.

And what's wrong with wanting to have a party and celebrate a new baby?! Absolutely nothing.

By the time you get to the 4th child you have a house full of Children's bibles though...

You only need one and parents usually have a strong preference over which one.

This is a very wasteful and thoughtless approach to gift giving. Do you have any interest in the child your attending the ceremony for?

I'm surprised you find any new parents that have the ability to attend and alpha course @2tired2bewitty. DH and I certainly wouldn't manage it and I'm glad it's not a 'rule' here. You seem to be quite gleeful about actively putting parents off too.

Hopefully they get a warmer Christian welcome at a church down the road.

Yeah I do understand what your Mum is saying. I'm baptised Catholic although I very rarely go to church. DH is an atheist. We are currently looking to buy a house and if the best school in the area is a Catholic school I will consider getting DD baptised to be honest.

That's quite a rude assumption. In my family, it's a nice opportunity for everyone to meet up - you don't even need to buy a present. We aren't overtly religious but we are all baptised and confirmed.

This is a very wasteful and thoughtless approach to gift giving. Do you have any interest in the child your attending the ceremony for?

I wondered the same thing

I agree with your mum, OP. We had a naming instead. It was lovely.

Yes. I got a gift for the baby shower. I got some gifts when the baby was born. I’ll get a present for her first birthday and for every childhood birthday thereafter.

Why will a bible bought specifically for this child’s baptism, inscribed with her name and date of the christening be wasteful? Surely, if the parents want this child raised in the Christian faith they’ll be delighted with a personalised bible for her..? Otherwise, why are they having a baptism for her? (And it’s nothing to do with schooling in this situation).

Why? They want their child baptised into the Christian faith. Surely they want that acknowledged by the attendees. Otherwise why are we all attending the Church of their choice to witness them swear before God that they will raise their child within the Christian faith? Surely a Holy book of the religion of their choice is the most thoughtful present one could possibly give in those circumstances?

Wasn't David Beckham supposed to have said: "We want Brooklyn to be christened, but don't know into what religion yet"?

I was once asked to be a friends childs god parent, they’re athiests and I’m not entirely sure they realised a Sikh really isn’t an appropriate god parent!

It does seem Christianity is one of the few were someones religion is chosen as a baby, others typically have a naminf ceremony with an optional dedication when they’re old enough to make a choice. Our two have both had a naam karan, unlike Christanity this doesn’t denote ‘membership’.

All my children are baptised (and made first communion and confirmation) and the married ones married in our church and their children (my grandchildren) are all baptised. I am very pleased. it is not that I am particularly religious but given it is a family tradition going back about 1500 years it is good to see it continuing.

On when religious let children decide in the C of E and Catholicism there is also confirmation - which is an active decision when older. for jews although there is a circumcision for boys in the first 7 days of birth, there will be a bar mitvah etc when about 13 to take an active decision about it. etc etc.

Some Christian religions - like the born again Christians have adult baptism.

On the question of godparents for Catholics one must be a catholic. The others are allowed to be different religions - I think that might technically make them sponsors rather than god parents. Allowing those other faiths in like that is a plus point for Christianity, not a negative.

I help with Sunday school. I love baptism days! Loads and loads of kids turning up. It’s brilliant.

Sometimes they don’t come back. Which is a shame but they know we are here and that we would love to see them. But sometimes they do come back which is great. Or one of their guests comes back which is also great.

I am a big believer in open church. I don’t care why people are attending. Come because it is warm. Come because we have nice biscuits. Come because you have questions. Come because you are lonely. Come because you are sad. Come because you like singing. Come because it will help you get your kids into a school. Come because you need someone to pray for you. Come because you are scared. Come because you want to celebrate the birth of your child.

Just come!

Yes I did a similar thread a while ago on here - I'm not especially religious and our children aren't christened, but we do attend church things like carol services. "Dip our toes in" as you might say 🤣 the number of friends who get their kids christened just so they get into a good school is mind boggling!! Iffy ethics/morals imho 😬

A lovely ethos @Mumoftwoinprimary

Could be considered iffy morals to only use the church for Xmas entertainment too @Oopswediditagain2023 ...

You can be a Christian without going to church every Sunday. but I do think a lot of people have a christening simply for the party and presents rather than any actual religious belief.

we did it even though me and DP are not religious as it meant a lot to all four grandparents and we did it in the church I went to as a child, so I’m very much a part of the community even if I don’t have religious conviction. It doesn’t mean DC are forced to be Christian - they can still decide for themselves when they are older. We do take them to church at Christmas and Easter though.

My friend has both her children christened and she’s never been to church (besides celebrations), nor did they get married in a church. It was so clear nobody was interested in the religious aspect and I felt awful for the vicar. It was all about the party/piss up afterwards.
I guess the church just appreciates the money the christenings bring in.

Well it's not just Christmas. I also go for rememberance Sunday - would you class that as 'entertainment'?
There's quite a significant difference between going along and respecting the traditions and occasions of a church I've been a part of from birth (I myself am christened, just not my children) and enrolling my child into a religion that I don't believe in just so they go to the 'rated outstanding' school rather than the 'rated good' school, but anyway that's just my opinion 😂

We wanted an occasion to mark the birth of DD, we had a humanist naming ceremony and chose the promises we made to her.
It was a really lovely, personal ceremony and ment a lot to us.