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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enjoy a really boring life

109 replies

merciboocoo · 18/02/2023 22:03

Just that really. Since having my second baby I feel like I've got very boring. But I'm ok with it. I wfh so rarely see colleagues. I meet up with friends once in a blue moon which I always enjoy but am happy to get home. My life is a series of routines...school runs, work, clubs, evening meal, bed repeat. At weekends it's usually the kids commitments (sports, parties etc) followed by downtime like swimming, pub lunches or walks. We rarely go far.

I walk daily and get immense peace from just being outdoors in nature with my music on. I can't be arsed with other people and their dramas. I love reading and just being at home with my family. Does this sound like a really boring depressing life? At one time I would have thought so.

OP posts:
Corilee2806 · 18/02/2023 23:04

I could have written this - my life is much the same since I’ve had my second baby. It used to be full of drama before I had children - lots of socialising and living it up but I felt empty.

Part of it is that it has to be this way to an extent - I’ve felt very overwhelmed and exhausted since having two young children and I’ve had to really cut a lot out of my life and simplify it right down to make it manageable. Like you though I take great joy in this and when I have a moment to appreciate it, I love just going for walks and being with my children. Just in bed at this time on a Saturday and wouldn’t have it any other way! The old me would be appalled at this new way of life. It could be a phase of life - will see when the kids are older if things change. If you’re happy that’s all that matters!

justanothermummma · 18/02/2023 23:08

YANBU, I'm the same, it's bliss.

5rosebud · 18/02/2023 23:14

This sounds peaceful😌 and I can relate, I too no longer want the drunken nights out or drama but I think that’s just age & also having a young child. Life has moved on but i think im actually enjoying it more now.

JoonT · 18/02/2023 23:17

Sounds fine to me. But then I was like that even in my teens! In one of P.G Wodehouse’s masterpieces, Bertie Wooster says “you can’t make it too peaceful for me,” and that’s kind of my motto. I will do anything for peace and quiet - anything to avoid hassle. I spent years fighting my introverted nature, and forcing myself to tag along with friends groups, etc. And I spent years feeling ashamed for not having more of a social life. Now, at last, I have accepted what I am. I’m so glad to be rid of my teens and twenties. Give me a hot bath, a glass of wine, and a recording of Stephen Fry reading Sherlock Holmes, and I’m happy.

Not going out all the time doesn’t make you boring. Plenty of high energy, noisy extroverts are unbelievably boring one to one.

StuartBroadBarmyArmy · 18/02/2023 23:39

@JoonT I didn’t discover I was an introvert until recently! I now fully embrace it

Okaaaay · 18/02/2023 23:40

Love this post. My motto is a ‘life more ordinary’. I’m not totally comfortable with it to be honest but faking til I make it. Well done OP for finding peace and contentment in the ordinary, it’s a gift.

floraflo · 18/02/2023 23:47

I feel the same op and so many of your replies resonate with me. I have teens and their drama is more than enough for me! I love nothing more than a week ahead of absolutely no plans to see anyone or be anywhere. As the pp above said, I've spent a lot of my life feeling like I was odd for not wanting to be the life and soul of the party or because I wasn't a loud extrovert. Now, im comfortable with who I am and I'm embracing it. Enjoy whatever it is that makes you happy.

psychomath · 19/02/2023 00:02

I would find it boring and depressing tbh - that was pretty much my life during the pandemic, minus the kids, and it nearly drove me insane - but as long as you're happy with it, what does it matter what some internet random thinks?

pleasemindyourmanners · 19/02/2023 00:08

I grew up in a house where there was lots of tension and worry. My dad was like Del Boy, always up to some money making scheme. Not illegal but nothing was ever straightforward.
He was also abusive towards mum and I in many ways. It was hard waking on eggshells all the time.
I love that DH and I give our children a loving home. Obviously we do have disagreements but the kids know we love eachother and them.
It might be boring in comparison to the home I grew up in but it is mostly calm and I am quite content with that.

Aussette · 19/02/2023 00:16

Are you married OP?

Crucible · 19/02/2023 00:16

Boring is a relative term. I have the dullest most wonderful life (dull to outsiders at least). I love nothing more than peace and quiet. Rushing about is mostly unnecessary. I have no grand plans and I like that.

givemeenergyplease · 19/02/2023 00:33

@Aussette Are you thinking not and that’s why she’s so happy? 🤣I sometimes wonder if I’d be happier

Nooyoiknooyoik · 19/02/2023 01:57

It sounds lovely and you’re clearly capable of being mindful and living in the moment.

I guess just be aware that your DC may want more activity and socialising for themselves when they’re older and you may have to facilitate that if you don’t want them to look back and think you gave them a dreary life.

But once you’re ticking that box, enjoy your own peaceful interludes.

CallieQ · 19/02/2023 02:08

Kids grow up... kids leave home, you can't build you life around them

mackthepony · 19/02/2023 02:15

Same here op.

TheaBrandt · 19/02/2023 02:19

It’s a phase. When your youngest is 12 or so you will feel very differently and start going out clubbing again - just got in myself

Hornicorn · 19/02/2023 03:06

I came across the poem ‘Being boring’ by Wendy Cope and it really resonated with me for the same reasons you say…. Keeping life simple and drama free.

elodiesmith · 19/02/2023 03:21

That first paragraph was so relaxing to read!

I am the same. I also keep thinking how grateful I am that I had a kid at 35- life is much more "boring" now but I love it. I don't crave the busy-ness of my 20s at all.

If I had a kid in my 20s I would have been immensely bored and have a huge FOMO. I don't anymore and it's lovely. I'm enjoying life.

MysteryBelle · 19/02/2023 03:49

Same for me. I think it’s a wonderful life ❤️

Rightsraptor · 19/02/2023 06:41

What do the Chinese say - 'May you live in uneventful times? I expect it's meant to be taken as no wars or civil strife, famines etc but I think it applies just as much to the everyday stuff.

Your life is yours and if you're happy with it, that's wonderful. It doesn't matter what others think. But lots will envy you, anyway.

I love that feeling of getting home, knowing there's a really good book waiting for me. Such bliss to snuggle down with it. And gardens & wildlife have become so much more important to me.

It's now about the micro, not the macro.

namechangeforthisbleep · 19/02/2023 06:45

It's boring to me but not to you and that's all that matters

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 19/02/2023 07:04

Same here op, as for those saying you'll get back into clubbing really? My kids are older now and I can't think of anything worse being surrounded by drunken teens and people drunk fighting. 😅

TiaI · 19/02/2023 07:12

it doesn’t sound boring, you’ve just got a strong routine. I have similar but different, in addition I see certain friends on certain days and have termly family weekend away somewhere nice.

FusionChefGeoff · 19/02/2023 07:16

Sounds like heaven.

After admitting I was an alcoholic 9 years ago I've done a huge amount of work on myself and learning to appreciate life just for what it IS rather than what I think it should be was a huge lesson for me.

I think you've got it just right Smile

Butterflywing · 19/02/2023 07:21

If you want to stave off dementia and other common diseases in later life, it's a good idea to be learning something new, doing plenty of exercise and being mindful of what you eat, limiting processed foods but eating loads of veggies and not going overweight.

Anyone who works with adults can see the clear difference between those who treat their bodies carefully and those who don't.

As someone else says, peace is under rated as that can mean lower anxiety and lower blood pressure which are very important components to a healthy, happy life.

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