Starting to look pretty shit

[givemeenergyplease]

Me, I am.

I’m 45, have a 5 year old and just recently I’ve started to get to the stage where I look not great and nothing helps. For example, before I could slap some tinted moisturiser on, mascara etc and look ok and quite presentable…recently, I have such puffy under eyes (no idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️) my skin is so dry…I even now use the big blue Nivea tin at night and it’s the only time my skin feels nice. My hair is dry and without that shine or gloss..used to like my long, dark hair. Now when I put even a light foundation on it almost looks worse and highlights any lines/creases. I want to feel and look good with a glow, what can I do? I know I don’t drink enough water, so I’m working hard on that (often have kidney stones, think it’s due to not drinking enough) I don’t drink much at all these days, maybe four times a year, if that. I haven’t smoked for years. I don’t work out as find it hard to find the time, take the dog for walks most days though, but I know that’s not enough. I live in a sunny place but wear sunglasses and full factor on my face, admittedly not daily, need to get better at this and not just do it when sunbathing.
Any help/tips? Anyone been the same and turned it around?
I realise it could be peri menopause, although don’t really have any of the other symptoms..always tired, but put that down the having a v active child!

I’m nearing 45 and feel like I’m starting to look old too. I have never cared that much about my appearance. I eat well, exercise and have never been overweight or anything, but my face now looks wrinkled annd slightly haggard, especially in the jowel area and I have facial hairs on my chin that I now have to pluck 😂.

Part of me is tempted to prolong the inevitable and get Botox. Another part of me thinks we should all just accept aging as a natural process and stop valuing ourselves based on our looks. It’s vacuous and pointless. Maybe we should focus more on how we feel and how we make others around us feel. 🤷‍♀️

You could try Intermittent fasting, biotin and vitamin tablets, lots of green leafy veg, limited carbs for inside, bed head gold shampoo and a Charles Worthington gloss spray for the outside until the diet kicks in. Nip and Fab serums and creams are pretty good too. All cheaper on Amazon. Ask GP for a check on you levels too. Hope you feel better soon!

In your case though, it sounds to me like you’d feel better if you drank more water and exercised more. Do exercise that’s fun and enjoyable for you. Maybe think about if anything is affecting your sleep quality and quantity and make changes to address is.

Also with the state of the NHS I think we all need to look after ourselves as best we can for as long as we can. At 50 we are (mostly) well capable of exercising several times a week, and so we should.
Which has fuck all to do with caring about wrinkles. Yes we should all be exercising. But that's totally compatible with the attitude of also not giving a shit about whatever retinol is. And both exercising and accepting that lines on your face are entirely normal and nothing to be scared or or upset about are sensible, and freeing, attitudes to cultivate.

I exercise three times a week and feel better for it. I also don't care about skincare and feel better for that too.

I agree with this. All those people saying „just let it go“, „stop caring“, „leave it to the young ones“ - why?

OP is only 45 - no need to complete with twenty-somethings, bit also no need to give up surely? She’s not comfortable with it, why should she just resign herself to it?
I know several women who look fabulous in their sixties and seventies, not hiding their age, but just looking after themselves and having a great personal style.
I also know a couple of women in my family who just resigned in their forties (and gave up exercise long before that).
Neither of them is particularly happy now in their sixties/seventies respectively, both are very passive and unwilling to change anything because they just see themselves as old, so „what’s the point“. That’s not the road I personally want to take.

Can I ask what sort of intermittent fasting you would recommend? Is it like 16:8 or 5:2 or something else? I’ve done both of these in the past and thinking of starting again.

Totally this ^ 🙂🙂🙂

@givemeenergyplease can I ask which jojoba oil you use? I loved using it in my younger days and saw good results but I can’t remember the brand and am not sure which ones are truly 100% pure jojoba.

Has anyone seen any changes on 18:6?

You’re getting old. It happens to everyone. We aren’t supposed to look taut, tight and toned forever. Liberate yourself by saying “fuck it, health not society’s standard of beauty“. And concentrate on exercise, eating well and mindfulness.

I'm 58 and my skin is like the Gobi desert , the best foundation I've found is Charlotte Tilsbury , The Ordinary also do some reasonably priced jollop (glycolic acid and a caffeine one are what I use) . But I agree with everyone who says drinking water helps massively.

Coming back to this thread. Isn't it well proven by now that the only anti-aging ingredient found to make a difference is tretinoin? Everything else is snake oil, except moisturiser and sunscreen. There is plenty of evidence on this, if you Google.

When I say moisturiser, any bog standard moisturiser will do, paired with tret. Even Nivea. All these other expensive lotions and potions are just part of the same beauty industrial complex that has persuaded women to begin tweakments in their 30s.

@Lentilweaver Where do you get it from?

Overseas. A tube lasts me months. But you can get it from Dermatica too, I believe.

Here, you have presented a number of problems all of which can be down to insufficient hydration, aka water. And say in the OP:

I know I don’t drink enough water, so I’m working hard on that (often have kidney stones, think it’s due to not drinking enough)

You have had kidney stones for nearly 20 years - the specialist said to drink more water. And still it is only in the "trying to" stage...

Puffy eyes is often fluid retention when the kidneys are struggling, or a highly processed diet containing too much salt, which again causes puddy eyes and general overall bloat.

"Dry" skin, often not enough water intake.

Multiple signs to get your vital organs checked via a simple blood test for thryoid and kidney function especially...

Multiple signs to just drink more effing water...

If the intense pain of repeated kidney stones doesn't get someone to up their daily water intake, I don't know what will.

If the puffy eyes and dull dry skin are bothering you now, you won't be thrilled with the mupltiplicity of criss-crossed fine lines and wrinkles simply caused by insufficient hydration and poor self care, in the years to come.

@Lentilweaver Do you just use it at night and put your normal night moisturiser over it-even the basic thick, blue tin Nivea?

At 70, I can tell you that is the sanest attitude to take. Who wants to look 20, at 40? Those who worship youth are worshiping an ephemeral thing that will flee from them without looking back.

The words I now live by are, "The setting of the sun is no less lovely than the dawn."

I use it 2 to 3 times a week, then put a light moisturiser like Simple over it. Nivea is too heavy for my slightly oily skin. I also use sunscreen, but I am Asian, so don't need a heavy one, so just 20 SPF does for me.

Has done nothing for my jowls, but I have decided to live with those!

always tired

Oh, and tiredness. I forgot tiredness - again, insufficient water is often a culprit.

I’m 55 and fully into menopause. My hair was so dry, I now use a moisturising shampoo and keratin conditioner, which I leave on for several minutes.

I use Nivea cream with vitamin C, I’ve tried different brands but always come back to this one. I’m on HRT and Testosterone, I also take vitamins and acidophilus. I follow the 16:8 eating regime and feel so much better for it.

I don’t drink alcohol (that’s due to it worsening my M.S) and feel fresher for it. I notice the change in my husbands face the next day when he’s had a bottle of wine, he’s 59 and definitely finding recovery harder, he’s no spring chicken anymore 😝

I swear by a bowl of porridge in the morning filled with nuts, seeds and fruit, it’s my favourite meal.

@Poppingmad123 I've been using this one for the past few years and it suits me well in that I've never had any kind of reaction or flare up. It absorbs well, doesn't leave any residue (unless you use too much) and you can feel and see results within days. Personally I decant into a couple of 10ml bottles with droppers (cheap enough to buy separately at a pharmacy but I bought these from Amazon because I needed more than a couple in order to blend the Jojoba with essential oils to use in my laundry) and keep one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen for easy application to cuticles and nails after I wash my hands - one drop on each nail is enough to cover cuticles, nails and each whole hand. For face I use on small pads for cleansing and no need to rinse as again it just absorbs. Wonderful stuff. Hope you find the info and links helpful!

Do a full life assessment & go from there. Get docs to do full blood works & address anything that throws up. If you can get them to do hormone testing, good luck with that request, get hormone levels tested too & address anything that throws up.
Drink more water, relax more, avoid artificial sugars & additives, avoid processed food as much as you can, cut down on your caffeine intake, get more fresh air, do more meaningful exercises & be kind to yourself ❤

Much as drinking water might be the new religion, I can tell you that the scientific evidence is that you can drink gallons of the stuff and it will not make a blind bit of difference to your wrinkles. I mean I didn't want to accept it - what could be cheaper and easier than drinking more water and looking like a goddess. But look it up - the 8 glasses of water per day was back of the envelope calculations on a war footing and even that agreed that a lot of fluid would come from food. You might feel virtuous, have less constipation and fewer kidney stones but you will not be less wrinkled.

Thankyou that is helpful. I wanted more suggestions re: vegetables 😃 I know you can chop some carrot sticks etc or other and add to something. But I'm thinking more with dinners, mine are very basic I am not a cook, although i would like to learn to make a few things. So it does get boring just putting veg on the side with things, and i am not good like some where by they seem to be able to add in all these flavours without having to do the boring thing and sprinkle in some salt whilst cooking, and they make their veg more interesting 😄