Starting to look pretty shit

[givemeenergyplease]

Me, I am.

I’m 45, have a 5 year old and just recently I’ve started to get to the stage where I look not great and nothing helps. For example, before I could slap some tinted moisturiser on, mascara etc and look ok and quite presentable…recently, I have such puffy under eyes (no idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️) my skin is so dry…I even now use the big blue Nivea tin at night and it’s the only time my skin feels nice. My hair is dry and without that shine or gloss..used to like my long, dark hair. Now when I put even a light foundation on it almost looks worse and highlights any lines/creases. I want to feel and look good with a glow, what can I do? I know I don’t drink enough water, so I’m working hard on that (often have kidney stones, think it’s due to not drinking enough) I don’t drink much at all these days, maybe four times a year, if that. I haven’t smoked for years. I don’t work out as find it hard to find the time, take the dog for walks most days though, but I know that’s not enough. I live in a sunny place but wear sunglasses and full factor on my face, admittedly not daily, need to get better at this and not just do it when sunbathing.
Any help/tips? Anyone been the same and turned it around?
I realise it could be peri menopause, although don’t really have any of the other symptoms..always tired, but put that down the having a v active child!

Thanks x

Thankfully I don't live in Britain so I don't have to exercise to keep the NHS going @Perfectlystill

I dont see it as "giving up". I see it as liberating yourself from the chains of vanity. This has nothing to do with exercising, eating healthily or any other choices wrt health. I am only interested in releasing myself from vanity.

Love your answer @Oysterbabe I dont do snything for anyone else, but me!

I'm 56 and look like Im in my 40's. I use Temple Spa products - smell lovely and work!

I've also started to have botox occasionally (now look even younger, lol!) - I go to the laser clinic cos they have doctors and nurses administering and they only give you just enough which means lines go but movement is still there.

Try taking skin and targeted food supplements and def up water in take. Your skin will glow and general health improves too!

@TheSnootiestFox

I was told recently I won't be allowed a menapuose check blood test because over 45 no woman's hormones would be normal?

Can anyone recommend somewhere southeast for getting those red veins on nose removed?

Er, well I needed some blood tests doing for some surgery I'm having privately and my ace GP said he'd do them on the NHS for me. I also mentioned I was feeling a bit odd and asked him if he could see if I was menopausal and the blood test said 'no menopausal surge detected.'

Btw the surgery is something the NHS should be doing and won't before anyone starts! 🤣

Try some Korean skincare products - amazing and, allegedly, years areas of ours. Also try the No 7 Protect and Perfect serum. I wasn’t expecting much but it worked. Optimum in Superdrug also do some good nighttime moisturisers.

Ditch the foundation and go for a high quality BB cream. Again, there are some fabulous Korean ones.

For your puffy eyes, experiment with the products you’re using on your face. I found my puffy, dry eyes were caused by my eye make-up remover. It wasn’t immediately obvious it was that, but a week or so of experimentation showed me it was. A Vitamin C or caffeine roll on thing kept in the fridge can reduce the puffiness in the morning. You might also need to use a moisturising eye cream afterwards. Less is more! Apply tiny amounts.

Dry hair - go for one of the masks aimed at very curly hair. I use a Cantu one, which makes a difference. The Pantene Gold series shampoo is very good and non-drying too.

Finally, try a multivitamin and mineral and - boring but true - try to increase your sleep by going to bed earlier.

Ffs - years ahead not areas 🙄

Oh and add collagen to diet - you can get powders/creamers to add into tea / coffee / smoothies x

Look at Trinny London products! (I have found these recently- I do not work there!).

I have a silk eye mask, bonnet and pillow case.
Agree about foundation, I mainly just use a bit of bronzer now. I do my eyes and I have a shaggy fringe which incidentally hides my forehead
I use a blur cream and my moisturiser is Eucerin.
Low impact exercise eg X trainer or circuits is what I swear by for happiness. I’m 47 and feel like I look great. I love myself and I love the signs ageing I do have l think it looks interesting. I have my own style and wear what I like. Be creative!

I have a silk eye mask, bonnet and pillow case.

That is hilarious!

The latest guidance is that if a woman is over 45 and has menopause symptoms = she is menopausal / perimenopausal and if she wants to try HRT it is not necessary to do bloods first.

For some women, in some circumstances it may be still be helpful and the HCP will discuss an individual plan.

Thanks @LavenderHillMob

I had some strange things happening and it was suggested it could be menapause but the doctor said he wouldn't check for it.

Out of interest, Is it sinful for men to want to look after themselves or is that just women?

Exercise, a good diet, not smoking, seeing friends & family and good mental health are all factors that contribute to healthy ageing, improved mortality and better morbidity. Looking after our appearance is linked to our health so worth giving a few shits.

Dr Newmans clinic in London

I think being blonder is so flattering for some women but @givemeenergyplease I wouldn't take it as gospel especially if you have dark hair.

If you're a way off being fully grey that's going to be a lot of bleach and damaged, dry, straw like hair does not look healthy or youthful. I would say if you've always loved your long dark hair, take a leaf of of Nigella Lawson's book and get some balayage highlights but instead of blonde, go for a warmer, lighter brunette. It can add a lovely glowy look, looks really natural and flattering, is low maintenance and nowhere near as damaging as light blonde highlights as the hair doesn't need to be lifted so much.

I have written a massive list of all these skincare tips though!

@CandlelightGlow oh yes blonder only works when natural colour is mouse (or, sorry, "ash blonde",haha). I do balayage as it's a bit lower maintenance, still a bit of a fortune.

I can't take HRT 😫 thank you anyway. It was just because I was feeling a bit wobbly but given what I've got going on right now it that's no surprise x

Soft water helps. We installed a water softener and my hair has more volume and is softer. My skin also looks better.

@Cherryblossoms85 Your hair sounds lovely, I love a balayage moment!!

Water! Your body is telling you it needs this. Drink 35ml per kg of body weight.

3 meals a day. Change your diet to focus on an equal combination of protein and veg. Cut back on carbs. Only drink coffee/tea with meals. No snacking. 30 different plants and seeds per week.

Sleep. Get to bed by 10 every night. Take a magnesium supplement - viridian 400 is good.

Probiotics. Take these daily for at least 3 months.

Use moisturisers.

You need to sort yourself from the inside out.

If this doesn't work consider HRT.

I’m 44 and have always looked way younger. I luckily don’t have any Lines yet. I was at the hairdresser the other day with no make up on and with the bright lights and huge mirror I looked rough. My skin isn’t glowing anymore, I have deepest eyes so they looked like black holes and I suddenly have a bit of a double chin. Age is creeping in for me.

Go get your thyroid tested. The puffy eyes, dry skin and hair were part of my symptoms (hypothyroid).

I use Missha BB cream rather than foundation - have used it for years. To be fair - I've always used some sort of foundation/bb cream as I have acne scars and think it has helped shield my face from sun damage. I always use a moisturiser with spf and the bb cream also has spf in it. I think heavily pigmented foundations are quite aging - just cover/even up where's needed.