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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a divorce just to get a break ?

88 replies

XYZ32 · 16/02/2023 19:12

Simply that

I know a lot of people probably feel the same way but I feel my DH has it way to easy?!

Yes he gets up and goes to work for 5 hours at 6am, gets home, does his dinner, goes the gym then goes to bed, has his tea, sees the kids for an hour then goes back up to bed for 7pm, I'd like to say he pays the bills but he pays gas and electric and his phone bill. I pay every other bill in the house plus insurances etc and I sort the kids. He sometimes gives money towards food and this year he's paying for our big holiday as I did last year....

But I get up at 6, feed all the kids, bath the kids, dress them, clean up and make the beds, sort the animals, do dinner, clean up again, sort the mess out, clean garden, and I mean when I clean up I do door frames, skirt boards, etc DAILY or he goes insane but I do all this whilst entertaining the kids, doin washing and going about daily life, or if it's school days I take them all to the 4 different schools thwir in and do pick ups, sort everything out in life even for him I'm just fed up
My DD struggles to get to sleep so she's up usually till gone 11pm, my DS cannot sleep so he goes to bed at 7, wakes when I get to bed about 11 an then he's up majority of the night plus I have night feeds ! He sleeps in spare room as he "works" !!!

Wouldn't it be easier to divorce, be single an get a fuckin break when it's his days to have the kids ?? Work would be heaven for me right now but certain reasons I can't. But Atleast Then I can go bed at 7, have a breather an he can do his fair share and I'd have more bastard money in my pocket!!!!!

Rant over hahaha xx

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/02/2023 19:13

What makes you think he would even take the kids?

BarbaraVineFan · 16/02/2023 19:14

Why does your husband go to bed in the afternoon? Lots of people start work at 6am, it's not like he is doing a night shift!

IncompleteSenten · 16/02/2023 19:15

If he's that useless with them why on earth would you think that he'd suddenly be a good dad?
You'd be more likely to find he played Disney dad for a few hours every other Sunday.

nutbrownhare15 · 16/02/2023 19:16

I agree he'd be unlikely to have the kids but at least you'd be free of his pitiful excuse behaviour for a partner and husband and be able to ease up on the cleaning. There'd be less work for you too in terms of his meals, washing and cleaning up after him. If he has issues with how clean the house is he should clean it up himself

IncompleteSenten · 16/02/2023 19:16

It's certainly worth getting rid of him anyway though.
You'd likely still be doing everything but at least he'd not be there making you angry with the pointlessness of him

Nanny0gg · 16/02/2023 19:16

It doesn't actually seem funny to me.

What's the point of him?

Nevermind31 · 16/02/2023 19:16

I mean - why would you clean the door frames daily? Let him go insane.
why do you put up with his ways?
does he add anything to your life?

category12 · 16/02/2023 19:18

Yes.

Don't know why you're laughing about it - it's the obvious answer to a man who goes insane if the skirting boards aren't done every day, works only 5 hrs a day and sleeps from 7pm. I mean, just what?

Sohappyrun · 16/02/2023 19:19

He goes insane if you don’t clean the skirting boards and door frames?! That stood out to me 😳

Fedoos · 16/02/2023 19:19

He sounds useless, OP. It certainly doesn't sound like it would be any harder work if you weren't together. Why does he spend so much time in bed?

Merryoldgoat · 16/02/2023 19:19

Why are you laughing? You sound like you’re in a thoroughly awful relationship.

FictionalCharacter · 16/02/2023 19:22

He works only 5 hours a day and goes “insane” if you don’t clean the door frames and skirting boards every day? How would he even know whether you cleaned them today, yesterday or last week? Does he sniff them or something? And why are you saying haha? You must be exhausted and he’s a lazy arse.

goodmorningsunny · 16/02/2023 19:23

If you're really ready to leave him, why don't you just do a work-to-contract strike and not door the doors and skirting etc. divorces are messy and stressful, so it won't be easier than just refusing to do all of those extra jobs. Just do what you need to do for you and don't do any extra. He'll get the message. Let him get mad.

SpinningFloppa · 16/02/2023 19:25

I’m a single parent I haven’t had a night off in 6 years we don’t all get breaks

napody · 16/02/2023 19:25

Sohappyrun · 16/02/2023 19:19

He goes insane if you don’t clean the skirting boards and door frames?! That stood out to me 😳

Yup- just read to me as 'hahaha my husband is entitled, controlling and probably abusive hahahaha'

Orangetapemeasure · 16/02/2023 19:25

Sohappyrun · 16/02/2023 19:19

He goes insane if you don’t clean the skirting boards and door frames?! That stood out to me 😳

Our cleaner doesn’t even do the door frames or skirting board. I’m pretty fussy about cleaning but that wouldn’t even make it into my list. And if DH asked he’d be well and truly shown where the cleaning stuff lives.

TimeSlipMushroom · 16/02/2023 19:25

goodmorningsunny · 16/02/2023 19:23

If you're really ready to leave him, why don't you just do a work-to-contract strike and not door the doors and skirting etc. divorces are messy and stressful, so it won't be easier than just refusing to do all of those extra jobs. Just do what you need to do for you and don't do any extra. He'll get the message. Let him get mad.

Unless he's likely to get violent op. If so, get some help from woman's and and don't let him know you're leaving him. This is the most dangerous time for a woman as an abuser knows he's loosing control of her

Hankunamatata · 16/02/2023 19:26

So he gets up at 5am, works 5 hours then what home for 12pm lunchtime? Why does he need to nap during the day or go to bed at 7pm? My dh gets up at 5am and he works 10 hour day and goes to bed around 9pm.

Pssspsss · 16/02/2023 19:26

Sohappyrun · 16/02/2023 19:19

He goes insane if you don’t clean the skirting boards and door frames?! That stood out to me 😳

Me too! If he’s seriously losing his shit over that it’s screaming 🚩 🚩 🚩 to me

category12 · 16/02/2023 19:28

SpinningFloppa · 16/02/2023 19:25

I’m a single parent I haven’t had a night off in 6 years we don’t all get breaks

No, but you are spared a man going insane at you for not cleaning the skirting boards every day and lying in his pit while you do everything.

Much better being on your own and in control than being bullied by a lazy shithead.

SpinningFloppa · 16/02/2023 19:32

category12 · 16/02/2023 19:28

No, but you are spared a man going insane at you for not cleaning the skirting boards every day and lying in his pit while you do everything.

Much better being on your own and in control than being bullied by a lazy shithead.

Show quote history

never said that, was simply pointing out she won’t necessarily get a break which is what the post is about

jannier · 16/02/2023 19:42

So he works part time, goes to the gym then rests while you do everything.....he's a waste of space how did you ever get pregnant with such a lazy child to look after.....and him loosing it about you not doing stuff is abuse. Get rid save some money he's not giving you anything.

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 16/02/2023 19:51

BarbaraVineFan · 16/02/2023 19:14

Why does your husband go to bed in the afternoon? Lots of people start work at 6am, it's not like he is doing a night shift!

This. He's only doing a short early shift.

I used to do 6am to 2pm shifts (got up at 5) and pick the kids up afterwards. I didn't go to bed until 10pm (though I really should have gone at 9pm I tried to have a solid hour with DH in the evening after the kids were in bed and everything in order).

That's normal - DH got the kids up and dropped off at nursery and onto the school bus when I was working earlies obviously.

Early shifts were always popular with parents precisely because they worked well around family life (which doesn't mean allows you to go back to bed while your partner does everything).

LaurieFairyCake · 16/02/2023 19:59

He's BARELY working while you're pulling 17 hour days!!!

Get divorced (but he won't have them so be prepared to pay for wrap around club/babysitters etc)

ANYTHING just to get rid of this useless twat

TheFretfulPorpentine · 16/02/2023 20:02

Why does he spend so much time in bed?

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