How do people do it?!

[sameshizdiffday]

Over the last 12 months me and DH have had a combined wage increase of approximately £400 per month - lovely!

Our bills however, over the last 12 months, have increased by more than double that! - not lovely

Now at a point where we're both stuck in our overdrafts with no money to do anything, no hope of a holiday this year (or in the next decade if things continue like this) and I just feel really down.
We're both getting paid 'market rate' for what we do so I don't think a job change would help.

2 kids - 13 and 10 who keep asking if we're going on holiday in summer

I know we're not the only ones in this position so, does anyone have any tips/ advice on what to do?!

Sadly I think a lot of people are in this situation and holidays are a complete luxury. Bills have gone up for everyone. I haven't had a pay increase at all.

Could you list some of your outgoings so we can try and help you to see where you may be able to make savings?

Maybe it's a question of perspective. What you consider a necessity or a normal purchase before, might be more of a one-off or rarer luxury now?

Shopping is a reminder that 'want' does not equal 'need'. I want a new bathmat... but nope, I don't need one, what I have might be a little tired, but it functions fine (etc)
The way some people talk about replacing items is misleading I think, it's their way of bragging. It makes us believe that it's normal to replace items before they're completely spent.

Check how you reward yourselves. I use shopping as a little seratonin hit - it's a pay-off for the hard work and drudgery. But as long as I see it for what it is, I can control it more easily. Does a day out include pottering around the shops? If so, shopping is a pleasure, not a chore.. and that can be changed.

Get rid of the little rewards to save for the bigger ones e.g. family holidays

I call this my 'poverty mode' and I'm damn proud of it. I only switch into poverty mode when necessary though - it's like a superpower!

Just tell the kids no, you can’t afford one, and it’ll be days out with food from home instead.
And check your outgoings, buying a coffee is an expensive treat when you’ve got it at home

Same.
I just got a payrise, an extra £600 a month. In 2019, we'd have been living like Kings.
But with our energy fix coming off at the end of this month, fixed (small) mortgage coming off in May, food prices up, fuel bills up, council tax set to increase another 5% (we're already at £260 a month), car insurance doubling, pet insurance doubling, and so on - the entire £600 will be swallowed by bills.
I normally rule over our food shop with an iron fist. But DH did it this week and, as it was valentines day, he bought some treats (2 salmon fillets, asparagus, a camembert, 2 bottles of wine), as well as some basic store cupboard supplies that we'd run out of. It was a 2019-style shop. It cost £160 for 2 of us!!
My only tip is eat a mainly vegetarian diet to cut costs. Apart from that, I'm out of ideas.

Outgoings per month are

Mortgage £1100 (was £850 but had come to the end of the term and this was the best one available!)

Gas & electric £522 🫤 this has gone up from £175ish prior to the world going mad

Council tax £188

Water £50

Sky £66

Mobile phones £120

Car finance (2 x cars) £580

Fuel £200

Groceries: £500
used to be able to do the weekly shop for about £40-£50 per week now it's up at around £80-£100!

Is your gas & electric on a DD? and estimated? You'd save a lot of money paying only for your usage, send meter readings a week before the bill is due and just pay that. £500 a month is ridiculous.

Nope not estimated, I send readings in every month. The cost per unit has gone up x5 from what we used to pay so bills are reflecting that.

YANBU. I’d guess we’re also 400-500 pcm for groceries including household bits and bobs. Things are so expensive. It’s really draining when you work hard too and things become out of reach.

Your electricity and gas costs are huge. Your house must be massive or incredibly warm.

Are you tied in to mobile costs? You could cut them, same with Sky.

Car finance is a huge cost.

Can you not cut down on Sky? Gas and electric are very high, is it really that much a month?

That is a lot for gas and electric. Same with mobile phones. I'd try to work on those. And fuel- can you cut down on some unnecessary journeys? Council tax, water, mortgage you can't do much about.

Perhaps ditch the sky? Do you have things like Netflix etc? But then again, why should you. We shouldn't have to live to work and pay bills and cut back on feel good fun things/family time. As a country, we need to say enough is enough.

Our council tax went up 5% last year (currently £301) and due another 5%. I'm on maternity leave. The roads where I live are pot-hole central. In our council tax, it is listed we pay for the upkeep of parks 15 minute drive away, in the posh area. Makes me feel cross.

Meanwhile the wealthy get richer..

How do people do it? Not spending £580 a month on car finance I'd imagine. That's a huge amount.

Your mobile phone costs seem really high. £120 for 2 phones? Are these monthly contract charges only or does this include paying for new handsets? If it does then next time your contract renewal comes round don't get new handsets. You could save £100 a month here.

How many mobiles is that for that's a lot of money.
Do you need sky? How long are you tied in for? That's 66 quid that I'm not paying as I don't have sky.
Shop around for your utility provider give them your annual consumption and see if you can get a better deal

I think many many people are in this situation, although your energy bills are enormous. You need to alas be slightly chilly or wear multiple jumpers at all times.

I honestly don't know who is booking the thousands of pounds holidays at the moment, but it seems that thousands of people are

And do you need sky.

Mobile bills are high.

We've only ever had old bangers so no car finance

I'd look at your gas and electric usage. What size house do you have ?

We are tracking our smart meter usage to try and reduce it. We now don't have the heating coming on during the night it goes on again before we wake up. We also barely use our oven. Instead we use our ur air fryer for most things and we have a George Forman for some things. Our oven probably goes on once a week now if that.

Not trying to be competitively 'poor' or anything here, but car finance seems insane! We have two ancient cars that we paid less than a grand for together and they do exactly what they should - get us places.
Sometimes I think a fancy brand new car with all sorts of 'modern things in them would be lovely but £300 odd a month sounds mad to me.

You don't have to go on holiday every year, do days out instead. Save up for a holiday next year.

We are similar on energy costs - I like the house warm. I've put the thermostat down 2 degrees day and night and it saved us about £75 last month. It didn't take me long to get used to it.

Phone costs are way too high - when do your contracts expire?

This ours is approaching £300 a month the mortgage is only £480!!! Oh and our street isn't even adopted! I really don't think they should be able to raise bills unless it's spent on education, sick of paying a fortune for social care and the up keep of council estates (not HA round here)!

OP could you move industries or take on extra work ring fenced for a holiday?

I (just about manage) by hardly ever putting the heating on. We don't have sky. No car. 3 x mobile contracts, 2 of which include new handsets because we needed them and I can't afford to buy outright, are less than half the cost of yours.

I wouldn't recommend the no heating though unless you're desperate!

By not having sky, having only one car and using pay as you go phones.

That's how we afford 2 holiday's a year with only one wage.

The car, sky and mobiles are killing you. Our equivalent is
£12 each data only
Disney, netflix & other tv apps £25
Car - 1 shared car 8 years old owned outright. Is that pricing fairly standard? Do you need them both?