How do people do it?!

[sameshizdiffday]

Over the last 12 months me and DH have had a combined wage increase of approximately £400 per month - lovely!

Our bills however, over the last 12 months, have increased by more than double that! - not lovely

Now at a point where we're both stuck in our overdrafts with no money to do anything, no hope of a holiday this year (or in the next decade if things continue like this) and I just feel really down.
We're both getting paid 'market rate' for what we do so I don't think a job change would help.

2 kids - 13 and 10 who keep asking if we're going on holiday in summer

I know we're not the only ones in this position so, does anyone have any tips/ advice on what to do?!

Gosh your bills are high, we pay £15 each for sim only contracts, plenty of data. And our combined electric and gas is £100 a month for a 2-bed flat - I know it's a flat but seems a big difference. Only put heating on manually when it's really necessary.
Could you assess whether you really need two cars? That's a massive saving for us - always shared a car.

Your grocery bill is astronomical, to my mind.
What are you buying?
Ours is £150 per month. That's porridge or toast for breakfast. Sandwiches and lunchbox stuff for one child, we adults don't eat lunch or have leftovers. Then tea is usually veggies with some tomato or curry, rice and either some tinned fish or just plain. We go shopping for reduced stuff every day, there's a 10p trolley in my local shop. I always get fruit in there.
Set yourself a challenge to try to spend less on your food shop each week. I don't buy much full price and we never do a monthly shop, I just think it's easier to overbuy and then overconsume that way.
Don't buy meat, don't buy prepared. My friend was moaning about precooked rice packets going up, if she just cooked rice normally, she would save so much money.

Also places like Haven let you spread the cost of your holiday monthly. I find that easier. If you saved even £100 of your monthly food bill, you could afford a holiday.

Max is 4.99% so essential 5%

Holiday doesn't have to be flying abroad, do you have or can borrow camping equipment? Either UK or drive to France. Doesn't need to cost much.

Personally, I don't go on holiday. It's a luxury. Your children will have to understand that right now, that's the situation. Seems a no-brainer, honestly.

Definitely renegotiate your phone contracts - they are colossal! I'd get rid of Sky. It's a tedious process as they keep shifting you on to another person to wear you down but just repeat like an automaton: We can't afford this anymore. We are cancelling. As long as you have informed them, you can put a block on money going from your account to them via your bank.

I agree that your home fuel bills are high. Are you doing whateveryone else is doing: thick sweaters and slippers, with blankets on sofa for watching TV instead of warm rooms; quick showers instead of deep baths; switching of lights every time you leave a room; nothing on standby?

There are still super cheap holidays to be had. Not top end, but a break from the usual. I LOVE this company in the Lakes. Fabulous, gorgeous cottages at much fairer prices in high season than most. You can get a cottage that sleep four ( DC would share a room) for £730 in high season. Challenge DC to climb some Wainrights (free days out!) or swim in the lake (also free) and collect the weird and wonderful local yellow raspberries.

Or if you need seriously cheap, Parkdean resorts have some cheap deals. Tbh in high season their caravans are only a hundred pounds cheaper than the cheapest cottages above, but they have sites all over UK. Some people might think they are a bit rough, but I did a few holidays with DC when money was tight and always found them really clean with good free indoor swimming pools, gorgeous local settings of natural beauty and friendly staff. You just have to not mind staying on a caravan site.

As others have said your gas and electric costs seem way over the top, also you could cut mobile phone costs and sky

Are you tied to the phone contracts? Both my DH and I have £6 pcm contracts (10mb, unlimited calls and texts) but that is without paying off the phone. Would be saving of nearly 100quid for you.

Cut down on what you can as above - I'd def say there are savings to be made - and buy a tent (but a big one with good beds, tables and chairs etc). We are camping for £200-£300 this year (without spending) and are choosing to do it having been abroad last year. Kids love it and it doesn't have to be basic. Buy what you can second hand.

I can't get over that utilities bill! Did you fix on a really high rate or something because our 4 bed house is not cold and we're only paying £220 a month (up from £170 previously).

Even my DP's that are on economy 7 heating are paying £300 a month, so to be over £500 is crazy! What number of units are you using per month?

That said, if you're paying on an actual basis, now the weather is warming up hopefully this will start coming down.

Cars are the next thing. Can you get rid of one of them and replace it with an older/cheaper one instead?

This makes me so cross!! Everybody saying cancel sky. It's not like you're paying for a private cinema room with a personal usher bringing you ice creams in a little basket.
It's a little treat, to have sky in your home when you can't afford to go out much. You shouldn't have to give it up.
This country is a pile of shit at the moment.
Your utility bill is bonkers.

It’s £720 a year plus £1400 on phones plus a little under £7k on cars and the same £7k on energy. In OP’s circumstances that means choosing no holiday.

Or reducing those costs and getting a holiday too

To be fair, that sounds a fairly miserable existence and not exactly a model that most people would want to replicate… porridge or toast for breakfast to last until a dinner of veggies with rice to enable a Haven holiday. I think I’d rather stay at home and eat slightly more indulgently the rest of the year 🤔

I paid £198 for the Jan gas bill. I don't cook on gas, had the heating on twice for 3 hours! I used to pay £40 a month. I send in monthly details.

No idea what's going on!!

@Minibea really? How much do you remember eating a dry chicken breast in a stir fry vs seeing your children on the beach, playing in sand dunes, walking in the Scottish highlands. It's not miserable to me, it's priorities. Plus half the world eats the way I eat, British food is crap so I don't resent not paying £££ for some unseasoned factory farmed meat with a shit sauce.

I agree. Young children remember holidays. They don;t have to be luxurious. Digging for hours in the sand, rock pools, jumping the waves, or when they are older, getting up early and climbing a mountain to see a waterfall - these things are free. I'd way rather eat porridge every day and do this once a year with DC growing up than have branded cereal and stay at home.

Do you have fire place(s) wood burner(s)?

5 bed Edwardian sounds lovely 😊 but probably chilly! & sizeable to heat.

Yes but toast or porridge and then nothing until a light, low fat dinner doesn't sound like enough food. It kind of reminds me of how I ate when I had an eating disorder. I couldn't sustain my family on £150 a month in a healthy way

I fully agree less is more and cutting back on luxuries is needed to budget.

But marketing does such an effective job of making people think that everyone else is upgrading their phone every year and having cars on finance, buying tablets, going on foreign holidays, retail therapy, big Christmases, buying new and buying designer branded makeup, having a takeaway every week, buying lunch at the office, buying a little something for kids each week at the supermarket....

that nobody sees that a lot of people dont do that. It doesnt sell. A lot of people use the library, make basic food for packed lunches, go for walks at the weekend, keep the same phone and car and use basic make up, fucntional affordable shoes.....but it's not the media advertised lifestyle that we are told to aspire to!

I grew up with Sky and got it when I moved out because that's what I thought people did. I grew up with the heating on full blast all the time. Childhood can make such an impact on the perception of normal and times have changed for sure.

Ours is £150 per month. That's porridge or toast for breakfast. Sandwiches and lunchbox stuff for one child, we adults don't eat lunch or have leftovers. Then tea is usually veggies with some tomato or curry, rice and either some tinned fish or just plain. We go shopping for reduced stuff every day, there's a 10p trolley in my local shop. I always get fruit in there.

This is not how I want to live. You can dress it up with all the scampering in the Highlands and joyful beach frolicking but that is not enough food for an adult, and it sounds grim.

Get rid of Sky. Lots of cheaper alternatives. Sort out your mobile contracts, they are extortionate. And pay for what you use on your gas and electric, not an estimated dd. All of these will save you massively.

There's a lot in between 150 and 500 a month though. I love cooking and eating so I personally wouldn't want to make those sacrifices but the op could spend double that and still save 200 a month.

What people want to spend money on and what they're prepared to sacrifice is going to vary hugely but with the figures the op has posted their is plenty of scope to afford a holiday by cutting back elsewhere IF that is important to them.

You might not want to, and many others will agree, but the whole point is that it's about choices and priorities.

I think we can all agree though that its crap having to cut back so much to cover rising costs and it makes everything feel harder

Where did you get your car finance? If it was from the car dealership you are probably paying over the odds. Find the paperwork and check out the APR.

Nationwide Building Society do a loan from 6.9% APR and if you shop around you might do better. If you bought from a dealer like Cazoo and used their finance they charge 10.9%. APR. The difference quickly adds up to thousands of pounds extra over the life of the loan.

You can use this calculator to work out the savings from shopping around for finance.

moneyfacts.co.uk/loans/loan-calculator/