How do people do it?!

[sameshizdiffday]

Over the last 12 months me and DH have had a combined wage increase of approximately £400 per month - lovely!

Our bills however, over the last 12 months, have increased by more than double that! - not lovely

Now at a point where we're both stuck in our overdrafts with no money to do anything, no hope of a holiday this year (or in the next decade if things continue like this) and I just feel really down.
We're both getting paid 'market rate' for what we do so I don't think a job change would help.

2 kids - 13 and 10 who keep asking if we're going on holiday in summer

I know we're not the only ones in this position so, does anyone have any tips/ advice on what to do?!

£940 on cars is a lot (PCP, fuel and electricity) it sort of helps explain some of the £575 on gas/electric too. Do you live rurally? That’s a lot if driving for you both.

His commuting costs aren't £1000 a month? Where did you get that figure from?

You’re spending a very little under a grand in cars a month between paying for the cars and fuelling them.

I added the car loan costs, plus the 200 you are spending on fuel plus the 150 you said you're spending on elec to charge the car.

Plus the insurance costs

Good second hand cars aren’t £15k, that’s the cost of a basic new car.
No idea where in the UK the market starts at £6k (if you’re not in the UK then your point is moot) but the great thing about cars is they move - so you could buy it cheaper then drive it home.

My last car was £2k and does the job wonderfully; I’ve run a string of older cars and on average my cost of ownership (repairs) has been about £40 per month.

I agree about overestimating repair costs. You are paying out every single month so that you don't have to pay out on an odd occasion. If you had an older car you could transfer maybe half of that money to a savings pot for repairs. My husband's car is about 11 years old I think he's paid out about 400 in the last year or so. Mine is about 8 years old and so far it's cost me nothing. A relative is just trading in their car as it's now getting to the age where the repairs will be building up. Think it's 07 plate

Sky has got to go.

Yes, on new cars they’ll be pretty high.

I also think the garage did a good upwelling job to sell ‘both include tyres/ maintenance package etc so fewer unexpected repair costs.’ Cars don’t generally need that much maintenance or new tyres particularly new cars.

I spend £300 a month petrol just me! Let alone across two. 😩

Ok e your phone contract runs out keep the phone and switch to Giff Gaff - I've paid no more than £8 per month for years.

@BarbaraofSeville Of course her bills are high

I said I don't think they're abnormally high, as in I think lots of people are paying the same. Not that there's no way to cut them down.

@Deathbyfluffy Good second hand cars aren’t £15k, that’s the cost of a basic new car.

Good second hand cars are 15k at the moment, and yes that is also the cost of a basic new car. Which is why we recently bought a new car over a used. The car market is still in high demand after covid/issues with parts, so used cars are expensive because people don't want to wait 4-6 months for a new car. I guess it depends on your definition of 'good' but for something a few years old with low mileage and possibly still in warranty you'd be around 15k, unless you're confident with cars and can buy from a private seller.

You've probably either already thought of most things or they've been mentioned here. As fuel is a big cost, what about your/your DH's driving style? When I had diesel cars (I now have electric), my friends & colleagues were always marvelling at the mileage I got. As they were company cars and we were reimbursed business mileage, I was usually making money by getting 70-80mpg from the car. Driving smoothly, avoiding sharp accelerating/braking and keeping to around 65mph on motorways made a huge difference.

@KimmySchmitt Just because a lot of those people are paying those costs, doesn't mean they are not high.

A lot of people don't spend anywhere near those amounts for those goods and services and consequently they're often far more comfortable financially, because their money goes much further for a very similar lifestyle.

Definitely this. 'But it includes tyres and maintenance' is always trotted out as the justification for taking out the expensive finance deals, along with the assumption 3, 5, or even 7 year old cars are money pits.
I've always had second hand and in the 22 years I've been driving, only one has been a lemon. That car was 13 when I bought it, my first car, and I naively didn't have it checked as thoroughly as I should have. I learnt!
Our current cars are 7 and 11 years old, both bought at 3yo. The older one we will drive until it dies, and the younger one will need to be changed at 9yo in line with DH's employer's car allowance policy. The 11yo (currently on 130k miles) has landed us with 3 £400-600 bills in the 8 years, but otherwise it has been fine. Tyres should last 20k miles unless you get a puncture, so that isn't a huge expense either.
In the past, we have taken out a general loan and paid the car back over 2/3yrs, giving us a similar outlay to you OP initially, but after that time the car is ours and we're quids in. By continuing to pay the money into a savings account after the car is paid off, you can easily cover the rare unexpected bill, and by the time you need to replace it you will have enough to fully or very nearly buy outright (then pay your savings back like a loan over 2 or so years). The most expensive car we've bought is £9.5k - you really don't have to spend loads.

Our house is 18.5 degrees and our last bill was for over £500. It's a modern 5 bed so large but not a mansion and the radiators in two bedrooms are off.

We are a family of 6, both dh and I in full time work.
We have just cancelled our Sky as we can't afford it any longer. (And yes I know it was a luxury to start with but when you can't afford to go out much anymore it was nice to have sky at home so there was more stuff to watch. I think because I grew up desperate for sky but my parents couldn't afford it, it seemed a big deal to me when I could, and now I can't it feels very rubbish).

We had a house fire last year and only just about to move back in to our home after renting during rebuild. Terrified about what the fuel bills will be as we lost our fix when we had to move out.

Our food bill is Astronomical. On the days we don't have kids with us dh and I eat sandwiches for dinner or tins of soup to save money. Yet we still can't make our food shop come in at Much under 120 quid a week. (We have four picky eaters, and two with intolerances so have to buy bloody oat milk etc)

We have a 80 mile round trip 14 days a month , (sometimes twice a day) to collect my DSS's after their Mother decided to move in with her boyfriend an hour and a quarter away. Petrol is a huge part of our budget.

We won't be going on holiday either.

It's bloody miserable, no sign of it getting any better and I'm fed up!!

His commuting costs aren't £1000 a month? Where did you get that figure from?

PP wasn't referring to your DH alone - but that's what the two of you are spending on your cars each month - £580 on finance, your £200 fuel bill, his £160 on electric to charge it, plus both your insurance costs.

@BarbaraofSeville Just because a lot of those people are paying those costs, doesn't mean they are not high.

Omfg I never said they're not high, just that they're not 'abnormally high'. It was meant to be supportive of OP after she was getting a hammering for daring to spend money.

Ok sorry yes, I thought it was directed at DH alone.
I am now aware that most people don't spend that on commuting after this thread

As I've said, these costs were all within our budget prior to recent price rises so I posted out curiosity as to how others are handling the massive hikes in costs.

It does seem that there are plenty of places we can cut costs, appreciate we have been slack with keeping on top of things and now we're paying the price - literally!

Thanks for all your help, it's given me plenty of places to try and start making some cut backs

Well yes, but that's his job I don't really know what else to say about that?! 😂
I was explaining the decision to go EV and hence a higher than average finance cost for that car.
I don't commute as far but yes I drive to work each day and also do some freelance work on top of my day job which involves driving to clients and also drive our son to football training/ matches on weekends so I'd say on average I spend approximately £200 a month on fuel.

Can you both claim expenses for work related travel?

I definitely win the Four Yorkshiremen on Cars - mine - 21 years old - cost me £500 7 years ago, possibly will die this year; DH - 24 years old, cost £550 last year - will probably last a good 5 years.

Our biggest risk factor is our mortgage which is due up in 2025, I have stressed tested what we need to earn to maintain our current lifestyle (as time is on our side to try to catch up rather than need to strip back if that makes sense) not easy as I suspect our mortgage could double, and so I went looking for a new job at the next grade up. Have managed to get the role and have plugged some of the gap, will try to save in the meantime.

That's been my first approach, if things are still a mess in 2025 then we will have to start cutting our lifestyle.

Definitely not having a dig at OP. We are living in a weird world and I just wanted to add my twopenneth. Lol.
We all seem to be living in a make believe world where we think we can ( and should have the right to) buy new clothes , have expensive phones and have nice cars etc
I'm not that old but I remember not going on holiday between the ages of 5 and 13 - it was normal and accepted. You had one pair of shoes. One coat. You got the bus somewhere if you couldn't walk there.
Your mum worked and yes she was always knackered but she made tea almost every night - even if it was simply egg and chips! You didn't just order a pizza in the evening because you were peckish - you looked what was in the fridge! And made yourself a weird concoction of something!

Don't get me wrong - we are struggling a bit too - but it's mainly my DH's spending rather than mine (yes I might be a tight wad but) I wouldn't have ever let him remortgage the house or extend his car loan for a holiday with his kids and his ex ) if we had been together then! You can do one thing OR another - you can't do it all.
My ex and I lost our car years ago as it was a company car- it was a pain but we managed without one for 3 years. Occasionally I would get us a taxi somewhere but we mainly walked / trained or bussed places. I know we couldn't have had afforded a car back then so we didn't do it.
People have to show some back bone when it comes to spending.