Random man in restaurant

[Theblacksheepandme]

I'm in a restaurant tonight with my husband and daughter. The restaurant ended up being quite pretentious and in hindsight we should have left and gone somewhere else. The manager made us feel unwelcome and was very unfriendly.

We went for a wine tasting with our food. Wine was excellent but the food was just ok.

There was a couple of obnoxious men in the restaurant which were quite loud. One was with his wife and spoke loudly on his knowledge of wine. In all fairness she was just as bad. He was even on his mobile for 10 minutes while in the restaurant.

We noticed that the manager that also attended to our table was fawning over them. We weren't asked if we wanted dessert or tea or coffee.

The bill came to €160 and when we were paying, the manager asked if everything was ok. I replied that the food wasn't great and that I didn't think they were as good as they obviously think they are. I told him service was terrible and while other people were asked if they would like dessert, tea/coffee, that we were not.

We got up to leave and the man that knows all about wine got up approached me and told me that I didn't need to be so loud in addressing the manager. I asked my husband and daughter if I was loud and they said not at all. Their table was behind ours. He didn't think once to go over to the man at the other side of the restaurant to tell him to stop being loud. He didn't even recognise that we could hear every conversation he was having.

AIBU that this random man had no right to tell me how to behave. I am so angry and upset by this and feel so stupid that I allowed him to ruin my night. He also walked away immediately once he had his say in order to not allow me to reply. I ended up calling after him to mind his own business and called him a pretentious idiot (not my finest moment). His wife looked at me when I was leaving and then looked at my husband and said good luck with that.

YADNBU X

I don't know why that's so difficult a concept for you tbh.

He bellowed all night at his table because he wanted people to think he was a 'big' man. He wasn't as big and brave when he was shooting venom at the OP.

Comes across as a totally realistic scenario to me??

This may surprise you, but people have been known to purposefully alter the volume of their voice, particularly where they don’t want someone else to overhear them.

You seem to be making up the whispering in her ear thing but whatever gets you through the day.

Ahh fantastic, @Johnnysgirl is back. Have you finished tending to Johnny? By the way, what gave you the impression that my husband was right beside me?

I think the explanation to this has been done to death at this stage and you clearly don't get it or just don't agree and that's fine but you're starting to sound repetitive at this stage.

I know @NoBoatsOnSunday I never mentioned once that random man whispered in my ear.

He certainly didn't want to be heard telling me how to behave.

By the way, what gave you the impression that my husband was right beside me?

You posted - We got up to leave and the man that knows all about wine got up approached me and told me that I didn't need to be so loud in addressing the manager. I asked my husband and daughter if I was loud and they said not at all
So where exactly was your husband? Clearly close enough for you to speak to

You seem to be making up the whispering in her ear thing but whatever gets you through the day.

No she isn't. In one of her many revisions to the original story, the OP said he bent down to her ear to speak so quietly nobody else could hear. Which can reasonably be called whispering if we're going to accept that "legged it" can reasonably mean "moved away at a walk and yet so fast he was in the toilet before my husband could utter a word."

You made a show of yourself in the way you complained and it sounded so rude a stranger intervened.

If you can, learn how how to complain without making smart arsed comments because they usually come across as less smart and more arse.

Maybe your husband and daughter didn't think you were loud because they are used to you or you all live in a loud house and think it's normal.

Actually, if I heard someone complain in the way you did, I would have tutted and rolled my eyes because you weren't at a hillbilly dance, you were in a restaurant. By all means complain if the meal or service isn't good but you don't need to try and show the staff up.

In future, if you aren't offered tea, coffee or a pudding, then catch the waiter's eye and say excuse me but we would like to order. You had enough of a mouth on you later on, so you could have used it to your advantage earlier.

@Johnnysgirl
I suggest you click on see all and I have offered explanations to all your questions. You have grown tiresome at this stage and I am no longer engaging with you. NoboatsOnSunday has obviously read the whole thread and you can't comprehend her explanations either.

Ah, fair enough. I'm not answering your questions because you wouldn't comprehend 🤣🤣🤣
I believe you 😉

Thank you for your advice, I will take that on board. Considering I was paying 15% service charge, I would like to think I shouldn't have to try to catch anyones eye for dessert, tea/coffee, after 10 minutes of taking our main course plates. I was aware I wasn't at a hillbilly dance, there's no need to be so patronising.

It's not just my family that thinks I am quietly spoken. My friends say the same when I'm out socialising.

I am surprised that you actually think random man intervened because he gave a shit about the manager. I can assure you he wasn't that pleasant to the manager either and his wife was even more unpleasant to the manager. I did mention this previously.

Why do you think he bent down? The OP was on her way out of the restaurant (not sat at the table), seemingly a good few paces ahead of her husband, when she was approached by the man who seemingly decided to ‘have a quiet word’ while on his way to the washroom. Hence the OP heard it and her husband didn’t.

Run along now and tend to fantastic Johnny that would have followed random man to the toilet.

You're sounding more deranged with every post. No wonder you can't answer a simple question.

I didn't say he bent down in my previous post.

Gosh you're right, it was "leaned in" not "bent down" which completely changes... nothing about my post.

This really doesn’t seem that hard.

OP complains to manager, and was quite rude in the way she did so. She then gets up to leave and is making her way to the door, her husband and daughter are also in the process of leaving but are still in the vicinity of the table.

Random Man, on his way to the toilet, decides to have a quiet word with the OP as he walks past her.

OP, pissed off by this, turns around to complain about it to her husband (presumably in a louder voice than the random man used towards her).

OP then continues on her way out of the door, so doesn’t hear the snide comment that Random Woman makes about the OP, to the OP’s husband.

OP’s husband makes his thoughts known back to Random Woman.

That about cover it, OP?

And now you decide to not be pedantic. If I was the same height level as random man, he would look a bit stupid bending down. 😂

The more OP posts, the more I suspect she downplayed how rude she was to the restaurant staff. For both the man and his wife to think OP was rude and a nightmare, I suspect she was much louder and much more rude and insulting than she wants to let on.

That's right yeah.

Well it does, because some people seem to be under the impression that OP and her husband are sat at the table together, so can’t understand how it is remotely possible that OP could hear Random Man but OP’s DH could not.

But OP is stood up and walking to the entrance, with OP’s DH some distance behind, when Random Man decides to discretely address the OP. I suppose we can quibble whether leaning towards someone for a quiet word constitutes whispering in someone’s ear, but that’s not really here or there.

It's almost like you were there... <marvels>
I wonder why op, who was there, is struggling so hard to explain it herself?
She certainly seems to have made a bit of a show of herself. Rude to the manager, shouting insults after random man legging it to the loo...
Then calling across to her husband (who was nowhere near her, remember) to fill him in on what random man had said to her.
What a spectacle she must have been. Embarrassing.

What? You're the one quibbling over bent down vs leaned in, as if it matters. And quibbling that another poster said whisper instead of "spoke very quietly." Yet earlier you were sarcastic when someone challenged your use of legged it.

Make up your mind - are we picking on individual words or does it actually not matter?

I suppose we can quibble whether leaning towards someone for a quiet word constitutes whispering in someone’s ear, but that’s not really here or there.
Well, you were the one who took issue with it in the first place? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Op said he leaned into her ear. She should know, I suppose.

Right? The two of them started picking on your use of words, then mine, and then accused us both of pedantry. What is going on?😂