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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Barely seen my daughter this half term

111 replies

VanillaRose5 · 15/02/2023 18:17

Daughter is 8, had the same best friend for years. I know and get on with her parents. My daughter has a 5 year old sister, they get on really well and play/draw/watch TV and generally spend most of their time together.

Daughter's best friend is an only child and gets very lonely in the holidays which I sympathise with. However I feel like they sort of commandeer my daughter at holidays, so far this holiday she has spent Saturday afternoon, went on dinnertime Monday night, slept over and spent all of Tuesday daytime there, came home Tuesday evening and I've just had a text asking if she can sleep tonight and go ice skating tomorrow - the venue is a good few hours away so will be another whole day.

My daughter does love spending time with her friends and I wouldn't want to discourage it but I also want time with my daughter! The mum openly says that it makes her life easier with her daughter being an only but she's effectively making my younger an only 🤣 it's a very first world problem but I don't know if I just need to start saying no? Or is that unfair on my daughter/friend?

I work term time only so holidays are my only real quality time with my kids.

OP posts:
WaddleAway · 16/02/2023 08:06

Fleabigg · 16/02/2023 07:51

It strikes me that this thread occupies an unusual world where parents spend the whole school holidays with their children. Is everyone a teacher or do you all just have endless amounts of annual leave?

My only child won’t lack interaction with her peers on half term next week because she’ll be at holiday club for half of it, with her friends (some of whom are there through choice because they’d rather be there than at home with younger siblings…) while I’m at work. I’ve also committed the cardinal sin of arranging some play dates but don’t worry it’s with other only children so I’m not destroying anyone’s family.

She doesn’t need to be with just me all day every day to “connect”. I’m not sure what you think is going to happen to devastate people’s family bonds that warranted a bold of need if children don’t spend what you deem enough time with their parents on half term. We have a strong enough family relationship to cope. There’s no younger sibling I need her to entertain though.

Show quote history

My youngest is disabled and can’t access childcare, so DH and I have to take unpaid leave to cover all holidays between us. Which means my older 2 are home too as we can’t afford holiday clubs what with having a disabled child and having to take unpaid leave.
Some families have a stay at home parent. Some families have to tag team the holidays as they can’t afford childcare. What does it matter why they’re at home?

Andthatstheend · 16/02/2023 08:06

Just say no! Say that as you’re off you want to spend some time with the kids! It’s liberating when you realise you don’t ‘have ‘ to do all the play dates that your kid is invited to.

RebeccaCloud9 · 16/02/2023 16:29

My 5yo goes on occasional drop and go playdates.

IAmTheWalrus85 · 16/02/2023 18:02

It’s really weird that she booked and paid without checking with you!

Moveonnow23 · 17/02/2023 03:21

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TeddybearBaby · 17/02/2023 04:39

I think your thread has touched a nerve with some parents of only children. That’s a shame, I didn’t get any judgement from you.

Sometimes situations take over us without us really noticing but it feels like you’re more mindful now of how you want to spend your time which must feel nice.

Enjoy the rest of your half term!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/02/2023 04:59

Fleabigg · 16/02/2023 07:51

It strikes me that this thread occupies an unusual world where parents spend the whole school holidays with their children. Is everyone a teacher or do you all just have endless amounts of annual leave?

My only child won’t lack interaction with her peers on half term next week because she’ll be at holiday club for half of it, with her friends (some of whom are there through choice because they’d rather be there than at home with younger siblings…) while I’m at work. I’ve also committed the cardinal sin of arranging some play dates but don’t worry it’s with other only children so I’m not destroying anyone’s family.

She doesn’t need to be with just me all day every day to “connect”. I’m not sure what you think is going to happen to devastate people’s family bonds that warranted a bold of need if children don’t spend what you deem enough time with their parents on half term. We have a strong enough family relationship to cope. There’s no younger sibling I need her to entertain though.

Show quote history

I’m disabled and too ill to work.

lollipoprainbow · 17/02/2023 08:24

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👏👏👏

Ursuladevinia82 · 17/02/2023 08:30

lollipoprainbow · 17/02/2023 08:24

👏👏👏

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Yes this occurred to me immediately. The 180. And the response to any suggestion that the OP isn’t… well utterly sublime.

I suspect that this neighbour is also concerned about the OP’s state of mind hence what’s going on!

lollipoprainbow · 17/02/2023 08:50

I would be counting myself lucky my dd had a friend and a sibling tbh! My dd has neither.

BornFreeButinChains · 17/02/2023 08:51

Op just say no!

Thank them profusely and say you and sis want to spend time with her.

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