I can't adult like a proper adult!

[SleepingStandingUp]

Even I'm fed up of my useless now.

Three kids I in school, I don't work and my house and life is still chaos.

My house looks like a disaster zone (essentially clean but never tidy for long), never seem to get anything done between picking up youngest two at lunchtime and eldest at end of day. Meant to be doing Uni whilst youngest are at nursery.

Get home and it's a rush twice a week to get out to activity.

Forever losing my phone, my bank card, their reading books, their letters (even tho I implemented a plan for the latter two and in theory they all have ho.es.

Little being in nursery is actually harder as it's more of a rush to get everyone ready, do all the homeworks, reading books etc.

DH by 6, does bedtimes, helps tidy, does dinner two nights I'm out with eldest, and split over weekends.

But I'm still always behind on sorting everything.

I feel like I'm lacking some vital talent at adulting!! I'm not even young so it's not even age.

How do I get less useless and scatty?

I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but I would say I am extremely disorganised with a lot of coping strategies.

With your bank cards do you have an actual purse? Or do you think "oh I'll just take this card out with me" or whatever?

With my phone I mislay it all the time but being able to call it from my Google home is a massive boon and has reduced the amount of time I spend searching enormously!

I haven't resorted to them yet as the coping strategies I have put in place for keys (one set for each door, always leave in the door, otherwise use a lanyard) means I don't lose them tooooo often, but maybe something like a "tile" or an apple airtag would work - they connect to your phone I think my Bluetooth and you can make them ring.

I think voluntary work on top of studying and very young twins is a lot, really.

Spare is on a bit of string that's tied to the inside of the box and reaches the door. Can't close box without putting key back.

Learnt that the hard way too 😂

This is a genius idea. I will have to buy another ball of string, though, as I have lost mine.

@Andsoforth

'Do dishes daily' 😊

Dana K White is brilliant. Her videos on YouTube are fab! She's just so 'real'.

@SleepingStandingUp honestly, listen to her pod casts or videos.

It is. But then I think we'll o don't have a job. People have 3 kids, a shit husband and a job and cope. I have 3 kids, great husband, why can't I

@Augend23 it's normally shoved in my bra liner so I can find it 😂

I'll have a look @AlmostSummer21

Currently multitasking volunteer work, TV, and Uni work all in one alongside MN 😂😂

Tbf we've just had one. DH said oohh we'll never fill one again!! I did. I'm Def getting there with decluttering altho I'm buying extra storage 😂😂 but I'm determined stuff will have a place and I'm trying to reduce SURFACES. Surfaces are the home of my pain 😂😂😂

@HonestFeedback itry, but something will be happening parallel and I'll leave and I'll think I have put it there and then I'll get home and.... Fuck! Where is it????

I watched the container video by Dana k white.
it makes much sense! She dies come across as quite real. I’ve watched three so far! There’s an hour long one! Are you meant to tidy / declutter alongside?

i might be quite suggestible as now as suggested by Dana I’m picking up rubbish as I see it!

Op, you have got a crazy amount of stuff going on. Three kids, including twins, and trying to do a uni degree. Is it a taught degree? If it is then I am not surprised you are struggling to cope. Going to work would be a lot easier, I think. (Not saying you should. I just mean that a taught degree requires a lot of time and head space).

Having said that you do sound a lot like me (no offense, I hope). I also suck at adulting, have the same problems as you do (including the over efficient husband making me look bad...) and the usual strategies don't work with me for very long. I am, however, diagnosed with ADHD. I think it's worth looking into as if you do have ADHD meds make a huge difference.

A few points:

1. How much sleep are you getting? If you aren't getting enough it will affect your executive function especially if you have ADHD but also if you don't.

1. Could you be deficient in any nutrients? Have you tried taking a multivitamin or omega 3 to see if that helps?

1. Are your standards too high? I don't think anyone can do anything with small kids in the house and if your husband manages to tidy up while looking after them alone then he must be hypnotizing either them into helping tidy up or you into not seeing the mess. Honestly you are the normal one here.

1. If it is ADHD try as much as possible to change your environment to help you get stuff done I suck at self motivation but I am quite good at responding to immediate needs.

1. Maybe dh and you can divide tasks so that each plays to their strength. My husband does most of the organising and planning and I do a lot of household tasks. It sounds very traditional but I just can't do organisational stuff.

2.sleep is erratic. I struggle to get off, the twins sometimes still wake and need their hand holding until they fall asleep. Can't just let them cry cos they share a room. Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it's hours (looking at you, twin2). But also they will randomly shout on the night which Wales me up andu bladder is now accustomed to wake up wees so I struggle to go to sleep, struggle to sleep through and then struggle to get upm. DH is accomodating as he can be so this week he won't call me until he's leaving for work as the kids will be up and I catch up se weekends but I'm always tired nl

Recent full bloods were ok except for being fat.

Standards are low trust me , ☺️☺️. DH I think will just spend less time being sat on by preschoolers. And also he's more efficient so he doesn't get distracted. And he does less CLEANING so he might tidy up but won't necessarily clean and mop. But it still looks better than my clean mess 😂😂

Degree is Open University

On the subject of waking up twins, I hear one...