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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to Australia for 3 weeks of no stings sex?

122 replies

Menomaddness · 14/02/2023 17:51

I'm a menopausal woman who for various very sad reasons hasn't had sex in far too long.

This morning an old school friend messaged me. I haven't seen him in 3 decades and he's lived in Australia for at least one of those. We're FB friends but I've never heard directly from him before.

From his FB, he's loving life with a different woman every weekend. He's either on the beach or in the pub dancing to live music or both.

Anyway we chatted back and forth for a while, he told me he's currently single and for a minute it really did seem like a realistic idea to suggest going out there for a few weeks of fun.

There are men more locally, but they all come with "complications". I also accept I'm being very presumptive in expecting him to be up for the idea 😆

I've never had any hankering to go to Aus!

OP posts:
ladydimitrescu · 15/02/2023 09:14

You don't know he's up for it.
If he is, don't know he's going to want to fuck more than once - what happens if you're just in Australia for 3 weeks for no reason when you didn't even want to go there in the first place?
What happens if you get there and he looks like a big toe, and is riddled.
He emailed this morning and you're planning to fly to the other end of the planet for some dick, I promise there's millions of them much closer, and probably cleaner than Kangaroo Casanova.
Just no, OP. Please don't.

Emmamoo89 · 15/02/2023 09:17

Go and have some fun! X

ReneBumsWombats · 15/02/2023 09:17

Kangaroo Casanova

Future username right there.

Original poster
Menomaddness · 15/02/2023 10:04

OK, well some people took that very seriously!

Obviously he's not a man who likes to commit. TBH that's probably how he ended up in Australia in the first place. That's part of the appeal 😆

It just struck me that throwing caution to the wind and just up and going could be fun. I've never had any great hankering to go, but obviously if I went, I'd plan a holiday and see some sites while I'm there.

He's not currently working, having taken a redundancy package from a good banking job a year or so ago. He's been traveling and partying himself and it looks fun to tag along, but if we didn't get along, I'm quite capable of having a holiday on my own.

And of course it's a bit weird to invite yourself on the back of one message, but he did in touch after 30 years, out of the blue, so he started it😆

Call it a mid life crisis, but I've spent 30 years on career, family, home and caring for a dying DH. I am well aware life's short and starting to take a go for it, what's the worst that can happen view?

Obviously going just for sex that might not happen or might be dreadful would be daft, but the trip still has an appeal...

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 15/02/2023 10:08

I think you should go as a holiday for yourself and meet up with him while you're there. If he's up for something I'm sure he'll communicate it to you somehow and if you feel the spark, you can do what you like. Just make sure you've got actual plans that don't involve him so it's not just a damp squib if he's not up for it or it's shit and you don't enjoy it.

CloudPop · 15/02/2023 10:36

Menomaddness · 15/02/2023 10:04

OK, well some people took that very seriously!

Obviously he's not a man who likes to commit. TBH that's probably how he ended up in Australia in the first place. That's part of the appeal 😆

It just struck me that throwing caution to the wind and just up and going could be fun. I've never had any great hankering to go, but obviously if I went, I'd plan a holiday and see some sites while I'm there.

He's not currently working, having taken a redundancy package from a good banking job a year or so ago. He's been traveling and partying himself and it looks fun to tag along, but if we didn't get along, I'm quite capable of having a holiday on my own.

And of course it's a bit weird to invite yourself on the back of one message, but he did in touch after 30 years, out of the blue, so he started it😆

Call it a mid life crisis, but I've spent 30 years on career, family, home and caring for a dying DH. I am well aware life's short and starting to take a go for it, what's the worst that can happen view?

Obviously going just for sex that might not happen or might be dreadful would be daft, but the trip still has an appeal...

Go for it. You'll have a great holiday, whatever else happens. I mean what have you got to lose ?

Cocobutt · 15/02/2023 12:09

If you want to go on holiday then absolutely go!

Just don’t go in the hopes that this man is going to want to meet and have sex with you.

And remember if he doesn’t want to meet up it’ll probably only be once and I hope that doesn’t make you feel like crap.

I feel you’ll be there thinking about him and if he’s going to want to see you that day, rather than enjoying the trip.

I’d have a think about what country you’ve always wanted to go.

If it’s not Australia then go to that country.
If it is Australia then definitely go, but go with the expectation that you won’t be seeing this man.

VanillaSox · 15/02/2023 14:05

ReneBumsWombats · 15/02/2023 09:17

Kangaroo Casanova

Future username right there.

😂

DiamondLine · 17/04/2023 21:45

Hi OP here. I didn't go, but in a very strange twist of fate he's unexpectedly in UK! He's been in touch and asked me to go for a drink. It suddenly feels a bit too real 😆

CrapBucket · 18/04/2023 08:38

Oooh I love this plot twist! Go for the drink!!!

wildseas · 18/04/2023 13:26

Oooh go for the drink and report back!!

TheSandgroper · 18/04/2023 14:10

Well, there’s nothing if you don’t go. No sex, no conversation, no dinner party chat, no nothing.

I think you know that life needs a few adventures so, why not?

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 18/04/2023 18:47

Just go... and report back!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 18/04/2023 18:49

I say why not? It's the holiday of a lifetime even if you don't gel in real life.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 18/04/2023 21:29

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 18/04/2023 18:49

I say why not? It's the holiday of a lifetime even if you don't gel in real life.

I dunno - this bloke might be lovely or whatever but even so, is going for a drink in the UK with him really ‘the holiday of a lifetime’ ??

ReadtheReviews · 19/04/2023 19:17

This is from Feb. Did you go, OP?

JudgeRudy · 19/04/2023 19:40

I would be up for an adventure myself but I think you need a plan which includes some time apart. In his position I would not invite anyone over to mine for 3 weeks. That's anything but casual fun.
Suggest a week together 'on holiday' taking in some sites but leave the other week open. I'd imagine he's not gonna take 3 weeks off work but if your weeks holiday goes well maybe you could crash at his after.

CrapBucket · 19/04/2023 20:28

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 18/04/2023 21:29

I dunno - this bloke might be lovely or whatever but even so, is going for a drink in the UK with him really ‘the holiday of a lifetime’ ??

Show quote history

They might be off to the world’s nicest Wetherspoons, I hear the Tunbridge Wells one is amazing. Possibly the holiday of a lifetime territory. Depending on where your other holidays have been to…

CrapBucket · 19/04/2023 20:29

ReadtheReviews · 19/04/2023 19:17

This is from Feb. Did you go, OP?

She updated - he’s in the U.K. and has asked her for a drink

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 09:20

Op

How did the drink go??

Zola1 · 23/04/2023 09:28

Erm no, you've exchanged a couple of messages. Don't be desperate. It knocks me sick when men I went to school with send a couple of messages and then say come and meet me, come round for a drink bla bla.
You're being presumptive. He's got his life on the go already, you don't know each other, it's just fantasy. Get online dating instead.

Tookeffort81 · 27/04/2023 13:56

I’m guessing it did not go well OP

well at least you didn’t spend thousands of pounds travelling to the other side of the world!!

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