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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to Australia for 3 weeks of no stings sex?

122 replies

Menomaddness · 14/02/2023 17:51

I'm a menopausal woman who for various very sad reasons hasn't had sex in far too long.

This morning an old school friend messaged me. I haven't seen him in 3 decades and he's lived in Australia for at least one of those. We're FB friends but I've never heard directly from him before.

From his FB, he's loving life with a different woman every weekend. He's either on the beach or in the pub dancing to live music or both.

Anyway we chatted back and forth for a while, he told me he's currently single and for a minute it really did seem like a realistic idea to suggest going out there for a few weeks of fun.

There are men more locally, but they all come with "complications". I also accept I'm being very presumptive in expecting him to be up for the idea 😆

I've never had any hankering to go to Aus!

OP posts:
Wishawisha · 14/02/2023 18:49

KimberleyClark · 14/02/2023 17:56

There may be no chemistry between you at all when you actually meet.

Yeah this. You haven’t seen this man in decades and you have only even recently started chatting online. You might spend all that time and money to get there and find him very annoying or quite like him even but with no chemistry.

Surely the chance of having chemistry in the flesh with this man is fairly low?

ThreeLittleDots · 14/02/2023 18:51

You're being extremely presumtive indeed. That he would 1. want to shag you, 2. that he'd want to shag you for 3 weeks, 3. that you'd even be welcome at all.

MissingMoominMamma · 14/02/2023 18:53

Most folk only show the best bits. He might not want you to see the boring bits…

buzzy06 · 14/02/2023 18:53

He might be unattractive IRL or he might be attractive and you'll feel crap after looking at his social media

Think more living in fairyland here. Has he invited you over?

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:56

He emailed you this morning and you're already thinking of flying to Australia for three weeks to shag him? Dear God! How desperate are you?

Zanatdy · 14/02/2023 18:57

Why the heck not! Go for it, just don’t fall in love as long distance romances are crap!

MeinKraft · 14/02/2023 18:58

You only live once! Might want to wait for him to actually ask you first though Grin

whumpthereitis · 14/02/2023 18:58

AllWorkYoPlait · 14/02/2023 18:49

It's not worth the jetlag or the airfare. Find a fling closer to home.

I mean, even if she doesn’t click with him in person the holiday probably would be worth it.

I’d rather be disappointed in Australia than in Ipswich 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rightsraptor · 14/02/2023 19:00

Your 'no stings' sex did give me a laugh! I've had some very stingy sex myself.

buzzy06 · 14/02/2023 19:00

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:56

He emailed you this morning and you're already thinking of flying to Australia for three weeks to shag him? Dear God! How desperate are you?

I think those encouraging it love the drama a bit too much

summerlovingvibes · 14/02/2023 19:01

I say go for it! I used to have a FWB in S.A. and used to go out every year or so for a few weeks when we were both single. Great fun, he always took some work holiday and we travelled a bit. Probably went 5-6 times maybe?!

And then when I went with my now husband 10 years later and we met him and his gf for a drink it was only marginally awkward 😂

But was great fun at the time. Go for it and just play it safe!

SirenSays · 14/02/2023 19:03

Go for it! If it doesn't work out there's no obligation to see him again, just get a nice hotel on the beach and make the most of the break. Plenty of other men in Australia too

VanillaSox · 14/02/2023 19:04

Plenty of other men in Australia too
This! 😁

gelatogina · 14/02/2023 19:06

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:56

He emailed you this morning and you're already thinking of flying to Australia for three weeks to shag him? Dear God! How desperate are you?

Haha indeed!

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 14/02/2023 19:06

Go! If he’s a wombat, find some other kangaroo!

FedUp79 · 14/02/2023 19:08

If you have no commitments here, can spare the leave and can easily financially afford it (plus extra money for hotels/car hire if it goes wrong) go for it. Just be safe

ReneBumsWombats · 14/02/2023 19:10

Well, there are lots of wombats for those who like them.

AllWorkYoPlait · 14/02/2023 19:11

whumpthereitis · 14/02/2023 18:58

I mean, even if she doesn’t click with him in person the holiday probably would be worth it.

I’d rather be disappointed in Australia than in Ipswich 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

Well, only if you actually wanted to go to Australia in the first place. Which OP says she doesn't.

I'd rather pay however much it costs me to get home from Ipswich than fork out a few grand to entertain myself in Aus.

If a friend came to me with this proposal I'd be genuinely concerned about their state of mind Confused

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/02/2023 19:11

Zanatdy · 14/02/2023 18:57

Why the heck not! Go for it, just don’t fall in love as long distance romances are crap!

Several thousand pounds, 24 hours on a plane, jet lag, and she hasn't met the bloke for decades. That's why not. I mean, if she fancies a holiday in Oz with a side order of sex, fine, but to spend all that time and money for a fling that exists solely in her head based on FB posts? come ON.

MissingMoominMamma · 14/02/2023 19:21

If he asked you whether he could stay with you for three weeks, and you thought it was because he wanted sex, would that feel good?

It would be a massive turn off for me, even if I liked him.

EarringsandLipstick · 14/02/2023 19:23

I've never had any hankering to go to Aus!

Then no - it would (possibly) be one thing if you fancied a trip to Oz, and the possibility of a fling was there.

To only go for sex with this man you haven't seen in decades, who you might not fancy, who might not fancy you ... mental.

You can find sex nearer, and for less no money!

Cocobutt · 14/02/2023 19:24

YABU

He is practically a stranger and you’re paying a ridiculous amount of money to have sex with a stranger.

If he’s got a different woman every weekend then he’s not going to want you hanging around for 3 weeks.

Why don’t you go on holiday and try and find a holiday romance.

Or go on online dating and either be honest about no strings sex or just date and have sex.

CrapBucket · 14/02/2023 19:27

Invite him to yours instead. Much cheaper!!

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 14/02/2023 19:34

OP, you want to head to Senegal instead.
Well known destination for ladies looking for action.
You just need to hang out at the pool.
So I'm told.

Dontsayyouloveme · 14/02/2023 19:35

He’s with a different woman every weekend…? 🫤If you do go and sleep with him, please take precautions! 😬

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