Page 8 | People on good wages saying they are struggling

ChopSuey2 · 2023-02-14T15:06:21+00:00

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by people on good wages saying they are struggling? I am not talking about people who have good wages but are paying off large debts or whose childcare leaves them broke, but people who say they can't afford to live on a certain amount but actually have a decent or even lots of money left after essentials. Equally, people whose essentials (food shopping and heating particularly) are ludicrously high (not including those with high costs related to disability). I really feel like people need to read the room. People are genuinely struggling and saying you can't afford to live on a good wage is insensitive. I'm not sure if it's relevant but I would consider myself to be on a good wage (not a higher tax payer and in London). YABU - people can say they can't afford to live on a good wage because it's all relative YANBU - people need to think about what being unable to afford things really means

VictorStrand · 14/02/2023 18:17

Look at it this way. The Government doesn't care if poor people are struggling. They expect them to struggle. Their entire market system relies upon it. But if people are who usually seen as comfortable or on good wages, start complaining and saying they're struggling, the Government is much more likely to take note. They seem them as their voters and their party members. The Government can't afford to piss them off. So the more people that complain from across every wage level, the better.

WordtoYoMumma · 14/02/2023 18:21

I was in a meeting at work last week - we have the option to work from home on admin days and meetings are face to face. The senior manager (so two 'rungs' above me and whose take home is easily double mine) tells us she has been in the office all week as she cannot afford to put the heating on at home...

My overwhelming feeling was FUCK OFF but I guess I don't know her personal circumstances, just that she earns a hell of a lot more than I do!

It felt very insensitive. Everyone else in the meeting was at my level, senior manager was leading it. We all commented after, well if she can't afford to put the heating on then us lowly paid workers are royally fucked!

LlynTegid · 14/02/2023 18:21

Whilst accepting that adjusting some of your expenditure may not be easy, I agree with the OPs sentiment. Saying you are struggling is very different from for example, dreading how much your next energy bill will be.

No-one needs a large car, for example.

rexythedinosaur · 14/02/2023 18:22

Porkandbeans1 · 14/02/2023 18:10

People can have a moan about whatever they want to. The whole topic reminds me of a work colleague who always has derail any bitching session. For example if I were to moan about my DC, she would say "but there are people out there who can't have DC and would love to be in your position". There's always someone out there who's got it worse.

As someone who lived in poverty for years I feel that the cost of living crisis has had less of an impact on me. I don't have such high expectations for life and I know how to be frugal. I have also always remainded petrified of going back to me previous lifestyle of debt and living paycheck to paycheck so I never took on massive mortgages, loans or bought items on credit.

I agree.

It's like when parents tell kids to eat their dinner and used that line 'There are children starving in the world don't you know!'

Yeah, well, send it to them!

Bad luck/ struggles don't have to be comparitive. All of our experiences are valid.

LookingOldTheseDays · 14/02/2023 18:23

Riverlee · 14/02/2023 15:23

Someone earning ‘lots of money’ may not have much of a disposable income once mortgages, childcare, commuting costs etc come out of the pot. Also, they pay full whack for everything - council tax, prescriptions, etc and this soon mounts up.

Yes, they probably do live in a nicer area and may have a newer car, but they are still affected by pasta doubling in price etc.

Also, just googled take home pay and came up with this, so not that much difference between a £15000 salary difference.

“On a £50,000 salary, your take home pay will be £37,198 after tax and National Insurance. This equates to £3,100 per month and £715 per week.”

”If your salary is £35,000, then after tax and national insurance you will be left with £27,542. This means that after tax you will take home £2,295 every ...”

That's a 35% difference - that's bloody significant!

EleMar · 14/02/2023 18:23

I think it’s important to read the room
before complaining about anything. That said, there are many reasons why someone might be struggling, as also mentioned by many posters above.

I am lucky that my husband and I have not been affected too much by the current situation. However, whilst I have a great salary, I also support financially my parents (over 1k per month). On the other hand, I know a couple who earns 1/3 of what we earn, but bank of mum and dad gave them over 500k cash for a house. There are many variables that come into play.

Ariela · 14/02/2023 18:25

Lancasterel · 14/02/2023 17:20

Fairly big house. But also just before Covid we knocked a wall down, opened up to the conservatory and put in lovely underfloor electric heating as the main heat source for the main living area… but since then the cost of running it has become astronomical so we don’t use it 🙈
In the long term the answer will have to be putting some walls back or knocking down the old conservatory and rebuilding it… but of course that is no longer really affordable either!

Show quote history

Might it be worth considering solar + battery to help power the heating?

Commonsensitivity · 14/02/2023 18:27

You are being unreasonable becuause those just over the threshold get no benefits or discounts. No free school dinners and uniform, no cost of living payments. Once when I went on maternity leave and claimed benefits I felt much better off and had access to a range of free grants and services. The squeezed middle is a real thing.

Ariela · 14/02/2023 18:28

Alexandra2001 · 14/02/2023 18:07

Don't get this COL stuff, our local pub, club and two nearby beauty spot cafes are as busy as ever.
I didn't think i lived in a well off area but outward impressions folk are doing more than well.
On our FB the word is all about the £200 off grid gas support payment for all in the village, the ones moaning the most about delays in getting it, are the most wealthy....

No wonder this country has no money if its handing out £200 to 2m house holds, regardless of income.

I'm genuinely surprised we will get it - given one always has the possibility of a) shopping around on the day b) buying ahead or with others (buying group) to keep the cost down c) if your tank is big enough, timing your refills to coincide with heatwaves and finally d) the price of heating oil STILL has not hit the giddy heights of 2012-2014.

I am not one for grumbling about my £200!

bumpytrumpy · 14/02/2023 18:28

The race to the bottom helps no one. Turning people against people helps no one. It should be the people against the system right now.

Those "good earners" (say £70-90k for arguments sake), are likely to have significant levels of education and years of work experience. They have likely planned their lives around building a good career, providing for their family and making long terms plans for pensions etc.

Why the fuck should those people not be allowed to complain when their years of hard work is jeopardised by decisions from this corrupt incompetent government?!

It may be a different problem to those on the bread line but the truth is that NO ONE is coming off well here and the government & its supporters are doing nothing to make things better.

sjxoxo · 14/02/2023 18:29

I think everyone’s opinion is valid as that is their ‘real’ experience, to them. If it seems a bit ridiculous to you, just ignore it. The truth is the world exists with both people with very little and people with a lot.. in both groups some are surviving and doing well, in their opinion, and some finding life very difficult. A random Internet forum doesn’t give you enough information to make a solid judgement. If it seems ridiculous to you, I think you just have to ignore it and move on. In reality the attitude in the UK is quite competitive; and if we really want to address better living standards for all we should look to have more solidarity when it comes to the policies we want in place and how we vote at local and general elections. x

autienotnaughty · 14/02/2023 18:31

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 14/02/2023 15:09

We have a household income of £50k. This morning British Gas told me we owe them over £1000. I've had the heating off all winter and the walls are damp.

Why shouldn't I moan?

We have a similar income. I assume she didn't mean the likes of us.

PrincessConstance · 14/02/2023 18:31

SilverGlitterBaubles · 14/02/2023 17:30

What should concern us all is that when people do cut back on the non essentials such as meals out with the family, days out with the kids in half term, buying sandwiches or coffees out, haircuts etc this has a knock on effect for the businesses and ultimately peoples jobs. We are a service driven economy of people stop spending we are all in deep trouble.

Those sectors you mention were flooded with poor quality and service. Hospitality needs a change of tack, rather than literally dozens of restaurants in our towns and cities serving the same cack.
Dp works in the domestic plumbing industry, people do have money they're spending on major home refurbishments instead of mickey mouse restaurants and overpriced kids' parks.

Certainly for us as a family, we noticed the shopping bill rises a little, fuel has gone down, electricity has gone up £30 per month and gas is steady as we have a wood burner. Although we've both seen significant rises in income as we've been offered opportunities and jumped on them.

rexythedinosaur · 14/02/2023 18:33

sjxoxo · 14/02/2023 18:29

I think everyone’s opinion is valid as that is their ‘real’ experience, to them. If it seems a bit ridiculous to you, just ignore it. The truth is the world exists with both people with very little and people with a lot.. in both groups some are surviving and doing well, in their opinion, and some finding life very difficult. A random Internet forum doesn’t give you enough information to make a solid judgement. If it seems ridiculous to you, I think you just have to ignore it and move on. In reality the attitude in the UK is quite competitive; and if we really want to address better living standards for all we should look to have more solidarity when it comes to the policies we want in place and how we vote at local and general elections. x

Great post.

Threads like this which talk about 'People who are on good wages' and 'People who are not on good wages' is divisive. It completely splits us in half.

Really we all need to come together and fight for a better standard of living for everyone. Everyone is allowed to struggle, everyone is struggling comparitively to before, and we should come together and try to make it better for all of us.

Usern037373 · 14/02/2023 18:37

I think people who have always been ‘comfortable’ are struggling right now. We are very much in the middle, not poor, not well off. We have enough to pay our bills, run 2 vehicles and have food on the table but don’t have anything left at all for luxuries!

but I do get your point to an extent. Mil recently whinged how poor she was and how unfair it was she never got any of the COL payments. Yet she’s just gone on another 3 grand holiday and went away on 3 expensive holidays last year too!

Newnamenewme23 · 14/02/2023 18:38

I agree downsizing etc is not a practical option.

but if you’re on 6 figures you should be able to build enough of a cushion into your lifestyle to allow for increases in costs, job changes etc.

for example DH earned a good wage pre covid. But he was self employed, so all our bills, mortgage etc were based on whether we could cover on just my salary.

so when he lost his job over covid we were ok. Tight, but ok. Now the cost of living is rising but his work is picking back up so we are still budgeting, but not “struggling”.

so if you’re living to the edges of your budget, whatever you salary, you should be forward planning. Either don’t buy that house than eats up 50% of your income, or make sure you have significant savings to cover 6 months- a year of bills. Don’t send 2 kids to private school if fees and your mortgage mean any increase in interest rates or bills make your lifestyle unaffordable.

if you’re on NMW it’s a completely different issue as you don’t have the luxury of being able to choose how big your mortgage is or how much savings you have for an emergency.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/02/2023 18:39

Unless you know the details of a persons incomings and outgoings then I don't think you are in any place to pass judgement.

IsItThough · 14/02/2023 18:42

Commonsensitivity · 14/02/2023 18:27

You are being unreasonable becuause those just over the threshold get no benefits or discounts. No free school dinners and uniform, no cost of living payments. Once when I went on maternity leave and claimed benefits I felt much better off and had access to a range of free grants and services. The squeezed middle is a real thing.

Those just over the threshold have every right to complain. But the threshold for school meals is £7400 (which is a disgrace in itself) - so we are hardly talking about the squeezed middle here- but rather people living below the breadline. ( poverty line defined as 55% of median income after tax - so households with @£17200 income)

River82 · 14/02/2023 18:43

Bigger salary = more tax. I don't feel better off.

Thesharkradar · 14/02/2023 18:44

VictorStrand · 14/02/2023 18:17

Look at it this way. The Government doesn't care if poor people are struggling. They expect them to struggle. Their entire market system relies upon it. But if people are who usually seen as comfortable or on good wages, start complaining and saying they're struggling, the Government is much more likely to take note. They seem them as their voters and their party members. The Government can't afford to piss them off. So the more people that complain from across every wage level, the better.

great points and very true!

OhMyBleedingHeart · 14/02/2023 18:45

People can have a moan about whatever they want to.

And if others want to moan about well off people moaning, then they are allowed without the moan police coming along

JaceLancs · 14/02/2023 18:46

You might have no idea of other hidden things that they spend money on
I earn a reasonable salary but have had to pay 3rd party top ups for parents nursing home fees
When DP was unemployed I paid his rent over and above local housing allowance, helped him keep his car on the road, paid phone and broadband etc to enable him to look for work
I help one of my adult DC who is a student with things like essential car repairs which without would mean they can’t complete placements and work part time to supplement their grant
So yes the cost of living increases do impact on me and my wider family but most people who know me would be unaware of these things

buildingourdreams · 14/02/2023 18:47

IsItBedtimeYetNope · 14/02/2023 15:15

YABU. Everyone is getting robbed atm. Instead of infighting over pennies on the grand scheme of things, we need to all stick together and lambast the real culprits.

This !! ⬆️

I wonder op if you saw my recent thread 🙈

Bodybarnet · 14/02/2023 18:49

WordtoYoMumma · 14/02/2023 18:21

I was in a meeting at work last week - we have the option to work from home on admin days and meetings are face to face. The senior manager (so two 'rungs' above me and whose take home is easily double mine) tells us she has been in the office all week as she cannot afford to put the heating on at home...

My overwhelming feeling was FUCK OFF but I guess I don't know her personal circumstances, just that she earns a hell of a lot more than I do!

It felt very insensitive. Everyone else in the meeting was at my level, senior manager was leading it. We all commented after, well if she can't afford to put the heating on then us lowly paid workers are royally fucked!

My fuel bill has gone from £150 per month to £850 per month and our usage is down. If I wanted to "heat" my home so I was warm during the day it would add a lot more on to it. People look at me as a high earner but £600 extra a month is an awful lot and I choose to work in the office too. You have no idea on people's personal circumstances. It doesn't even sound like she was complaining, just stating a fact. It's not a race to the bottom or a competition on who is impacted most.

Pylerbot · 14/02/2023 18:55

You also have to consider where people live to a certain extent. The wages in some areas are higher than other areas, the areas where wages are higher are also the more expensive places to live. Our wages compared to some of my family, that live in the north east, are higher. The cost of properties however is much higher where we live (and it’s certainly not a posh area by any stretch of the imagination just in the south east). Both of us are in the same boat, both of us are living in housing that’s too small and we are both living hand to mouth. It looks like my household is far better off but we really aren’t. If that makes sense? Yes, we could relocate but then I would have to close my business and DH would have to have a career change meaning even less wages.