People on good wages saying they are struggling

[ChopSuey2]

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by people on good wages saying they are struggling?

I am not talking about people who have good wages but are paying off large debts or whose childcare leaves them broke, but people who say they can't afford to live on a certain amount but actually have a decent or even lots of money left after essentials. Equally, people whose essentials (food shopping and heating particularly) are ludicrously high (not including those with high costs related to disability).

I really feel like people need to read the room. People are genuinely struggling and saying you can't afford to live on a good wage is insensitive.

I'm not sure if it's relevant but I would consider myself to be on a good wage (not a higher tax payer and in London).

YABU - people can say they can't afford to live on a good wage because it's all relative
YANBU - people need to think about what being unable to afford things really means

I think no matter what your income, you’re entitled to a moan about the high costs now. I’m a higher tax payer, only since the summer, 3yrs ago I was earning less than 25k. I’m the only income in the household, separated from father of my DC, have a boyfriend but we don’t live together (early stages) and it’s not a massive salary in the South East / outskirts of London. My rent is 1/3 of my salary, I can’t afford to buy here. Most of the people in my team have much more disposable money than me, but of course always expect me to provide the biscuits / sandwiches etc. I do of course and wouldn’t dream of complaining in front of my team that I don’t have enough money. If I lived with my boyfriend we would have a great combined salary, and maybe one day we will but for now we are both single parents and only income (we earn the same). I do read the room though, I do engage in chat about energy bills with my team as it comes up often as the office is boiling so I always say I come in 80% of the week instead of 40% min as it’s warmer and cheaper!

My DH and I earn good salaries and yes it's relative. We don't live a lavish lifestyle but we have a 4 bed house with a mortgage which is going to go up by around £250 in a few months time. My kids childcare has gone up. My utility bills have gone up. My groceries have gone up. I'm not 'struggling' as we're still able to go on a family holiday this year but it wouldn't be fair to suggest we're not impacted.

@DrMarciaFieldstone I used that example because I don't have kids or a partner so I am not aware of costs. It's also the example with the least variables. I'd definitely be better off with a partner sharing the bills and a Two Together rail card though!

The pay increase is only for certain London bus drivers who are employed by Abellio. Nothing to do with the government.

news.sky.com/story/long-running-london-bus-drivers-dispute-ends-after-18-pay-deal-12810250

most people aren't used to cutting corners or living within their means, therefore they won't be able to adapt easily. I'm a LP on a part time single wage paying for private rent, I've always cut corners and cut my cloth according to what I can afford. I believe it has helped me be flexible and resilient to this kind of change... many people are coming down to the new reality with a bit of a bump! I am concerned about the next couple of years especially in my situation. Agree with you OP it does feel a bit annoying when people moan about not being able to cope on a reasonable wage and income vs people in my situation. But I am glad I am resilient and creative with my income so believe I have the skills to weather the storm (at least hope I do!).

I applied for a job in 2011 that was £19000 and deemed average for the SW (Marketing. Degree required. 5 years experience)

It was readvertised yesterday. Same job at the same firm. £19500 and still deemed average for the SW (Still asking for a degree and 5 years experience!)

Rent for a 2 bed semi in 2011: £550
Rent for a 2 bed semi in 2023: £1000

That's the South West for you :/

That is a massive mortgage though.

Exactly. It's shocking and verging on psychopathic when people who clearly could, if they lose money, end up living in a rented flat and using public transport (e.g. perfectly comfortably) moan when there are many people facing illness, destitution, homelessness and death as a result of the COL. They could be focusing instead on how fortunate they are that they're so well off that they're cushioned and only have to cease some of their overconsumption, rather than suffer actual harm. They could even consider helping others out.

It's high inflation, we all have less then we did and bills have risen significantly. Cost of living has risen dramatically and the working under 40s are on track to be poorer than pensioners. Of course people are going to moan/feel skint. It's insensitive of OP to judge.

I don't think you read my OP. I intentionally didn't give a figure and said after essentials as outgoings can vary. I would not agree people on higher incomes can really say they have financial struggles though, unless they have debt. Maybe they have to make some changes and can't afford the lifestyle they would prefer, but they aren't struggling financially in my opinion.

We go on several holidays a year and have a very good lifestyle and do our food shopping in M&S. We still moan about having to pay more for things even though we can easily afford everything that we want. At the end of the day, it's less to spend on fun no matter what your income is.
It's crap for everyone but obviously worse for people with small dc/ large mortgages who work yet miss out on benefits because of their earnings. Probably makes them bitter about working their arses off and if it's really worth it. Can't blame them. Working should make you better off than choosing not to but the difference is very blurred atm and is causing resentment.

Struggling means different things to different people. Some people are struggling to afford the necessities of life - others are struggling to afford their lifestyle. An awful lot of people are seeing their income v. expenditure becoming unsustainable or maybe their future plans wiped out. The rises have taken our security away and it is scary. The people moaning that they will have to take one less holiday a year need a kick up the bum, but the vast majority are moaning because they are worried.

Many people don’t have a choice other than to use credit and let’s not forget, a mortgage is a credit. Many people, for example, need a car in order to work but may not be able to buy it outright. Without the car they can’t work, without the credit they can’t have a car.

op, it comes across like you are trying to gatekeep financial worries! Everyone is allowed to take a minute to allow themselves to be a bit worried now and again. You sound a bit immature

I was a bit shocked yesterday when I heard that Government agreed 18% pay increase to bus drivers. Seems a lot. How can that be afforded?

it's nothing to do with the government though?

All those bills have gone up, you can cover them and still have a holiday. That is great!

Of course you are impacted, but only in the sense in which it is "all relative" is that you are used to having more expendable income. It is just not the same thing at all as not being able to feed your family.

The person who made that comment made it about a 2 adult household. Average £25k each. Its great that you're managing your money well by the sounds of it. £32k alone doesn't sound too low to me, but for a whole household (all bills, food, clothes, nice to haves etc) it's not a high household income. Obviously if you needed to throw a car in the mix it just becomes impossible. Holidays. And so on. But yes I agree they are a nice to haves and not essential.

Houses have tripled in price but so have salaries.

Do you have any data that proves this?

Have you ever watched Schitt's Creek? - great comedy show, also a (lighthearted) example of how actually horrendous it can be for people to have to have to go through major lifestyle changes that are not of their choosing, even if they don't seem outwardly traumatic to the average person.

You need to define what you mean by 'struggling' I think. If you mean starving then no, they're not. But a major change in lifestyle can still be a struggle and people are entitled to feel and share that struggle, even if they are from financially privileged backgrounds.

(I'm not myself, by the way! 😂)

I don’t think it’s really about salaries, up to a point, people should take disposable income as more of a barometer. Eg someone might be on a minimum wage job but no outgoings and have more per month left over than someone on, say £60k but with a ginormous mortgage and nursery fees. Also, I do think people get used to a certain lifestyle so it’s harder to save and they are more likely to moan. Eg I’ve always been quite frugal, don’t pay for beauty treatments, don’t eat out that often at expensive restaurants etc and I have a friend who does all that and kids get huge piles of pressies at Xmas etc compared to mine. Nothing wrong with that but once you’re ‘used’ tk that lifestyle I bet it’s hard to give up - I know she now used credit cards as the kids obv expect the same amount on presents. We live in a very materialistic society where things that are ‘nice to have’ are now often seen as essential but they are not.

Don't get this COL stuff, our local pub, club and two nearby beauty spot cafes are as busy as ever.
I didn't think i lived in a well off area but outward impressions folk are doing more than well.
On our FB the word is all about the £200 off grid gas support payment for all in the village, the ones moaning the most about delays in getting it, are the most wealthy....

No wonder this country has no money if its handing out £200 to 2m house holds, regardless of income.

I think it is totally naive to say oh but they can downsize. If I needed to access the equity in my house I would have to pay an early repayment charge of £50,000. And I would have to sell the house.

So you have a nice car that cost £25k. Or you are leasing it on a contract. You don't just turn around and sell it raise cash.

Not saying that people shouldn't read the room more. Just saying that when prices double practically overnight it takes longer than a day or so to get your hands on money

People can have a moan about whatever they want to. The whole topic reminds me of a work colleague who always has derail any bitching session. For example if I were to moan about my DC, she would say "but there are people out there who can't have DC and would love to be in your position". There's always someone out there who's got it worse.

As someone who lived in poverty for years I feel that the cost of living crisis has had less of an impact on me. I don't have such high expectations for life and I know how to be frugal. I have also always remainded petrified of going back to me previous lifestyle of debt and living paycheck to paycheck so I never took on massive mortgages, loans or bought items on credit.

I can’t say I’ve noticed anyone saying this. I don’t know any wealthy people so if someone I know is finding it hard to make ends meet then it’s because they’re not highly paid. If it’s a rich celebrity then I don’t take any notice of them anyway.