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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I said don’t buy me flowers for Valentine’s Day ….

90 replies

FrenchandSaunders · 14/02/2023 07:24

… as they’re an expensive rip off.

He took this to mean “don’t buy anything”.

I’m really not fussed, been together years but I do think it’s odd. A bottle of wine or some choc hearts, cheap perfume. It’s not difficult. He’s very black and white, more so as he’s got older.

OP posts:
JimHensonWasAGenius · 14/02/2023 07:26

It's 0730 am, a bit early to write him off, isn't it?

Original poster
FrenchandSaunders · 14/02/2023 07:27

i gave him a bottle of wine and he say “oh I thought we weren’t doing presents this year”

OP posts:
EmmaDilemma5 · 14/02/2023 07:27

Do you actually care though?

We've been together years and don't do cards or gifts. Valentines gifts dont mean your partner cares about you more than if you got nothing. It's just another way, after Christmas, for shops to boost profits.

YABU. If he loves you and cares for you normally then this is an absolute non-issue.

MirabelMax · 14/02/2023 07:29

Sounds like he just misunderstood. Not a big deal really

fishonabicycle · 14/02/2023 07:30

Such a non issue ...

Twiglets1 · 14/02/2023 07:30

Ask him to buy you some flowers next week instead when they’re not overpriced. Or harbour a grudge all year if you prefer.

Ragwort · 14/02/2023 07:30

Do you really have to measure your relationship on gifts? What is your DH like day to day? Is he kind, supportive, a decent person? Surely that's better than a token gift? Just enjoy the bottle of wine together.

BreviloquentBastard · 14/02/2023 07:35

Quite early in the day for the first "I got nothing for valentine's Day" thread.

This is why it's so important to discuss gift expectations and not just expect significant others to read minds.

SweetSakura · 14/02/2023 07:37

I would probably have interpreted that as "don't get me anything". Or at least, I don't think it's an unreasonable interpretation

ExtraOnions · 14/02/2023 07:48

Where does this message about “overpriced flowers” come from ? I was in Tesco yesteday, and you can buy a bunch of roses at the same price they are all year round. Cheapest one was about £6

Bayleaf25 · 14/02/2023 07:49

JimHensonWasAGenius · 14/02/2023 07:26

It's 0730 am, a bit early to write him off, isn't it?

This.

BlueKaftan · 14/02/2023 07:51

Cheap perfume? Love yourself more.

crimsonpeak · 14/02/2023 07:51

We just don’t do Valentines. I feel like it’s for other people - young (and older) lovers and not permanently stressed parents who’ve been together for ever.

Shemovesshemoves21 · 14/02/2023 07:53

OP - I'm not fussed

Also OP - wine, heart chocolates or cheap perfume would've been nice

You clearly are fussed. At least own up to it.

MonkeyPuddle · 14/02/2023 07:55

I didn’t realise it was the 14th until reading this thread!

namechangeforthisbleep · 14/02/2023 07:55

Flowers are so much better than everything else you listed. Why the heck would you do that? Probably your own fault for instructing him what to buy. It's not your call! Probs teaching you a lesson

Shemovesshemoves21 · 14/02/2023 07:56

MonkeyPuddle · 14/02/2023 07:55

I didn’t realise it was the 14th until reading this thread!

Same! My poor partner handed me a card a few mins ago and I'd totally forgotten....oops!

TooSmallForTheMembrane · 14/02/2023 07:56

DH got me a £4 bunch of tulips and a rude card that he thought I’d like (I did). I didn’t get him anything because we don’t usually bother! He’d rather I didn’t just buy him rubbish for the sake of reciprocating so I probably won’t get him anything. Ir’s not a big deal.

DomPom47 · 14/02/2023 07:57

Next year add what you want: don’t buy me flowers I prefer chocolate.

namechangeforthisbleep · 14/02/2023 07:57

MonkeyPuddle · 14/02/2023 07:55

I didn’t realise it was the 14th until reading this thread!

Too cool

userxx · 14/02/2023 07:59

BlueKaftan · 14/02/2023 07:51

Cheap perfume? Love yourself more.

Yep, I'd be pissed off having to use cheap perfume.

mac1974 · 14/02/2023 08:00

I said to my DH not to do anything for Vday. He's got me a card. I've not even got him that. Am I likely to buy him an emergency card. Probs not. I'm not keen on valentines though to be honest.

R0ckets · 14/02/2023 08:02

Can't see the problem. You said don't get me flowers and he probably thought thank fuck we've finally reached the stage where we don't need to buy pointless crap to celebrate a day which is pretty pointless.

If he shows you he appreciates you throughout the year then why stress over not getting a cheap gift.

foghead · 14/02/2023 08:03

Ask him to sort out a nice a breakfast or dinner instead.

CaramelMach · 14/02/2023 08:05

You-are.com/ hard work