Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I said don’t buy me flowers for Valentine’s Day ….

90 replies

FrenchandSaunders · 14/02/2023 07:24

… as they’re an expensive rip off.

He took this to mean “don’t buy anything”.

I’m really not fussed, been together years but I do think it’s odd. A bottle of wine or some choc hearts, cheap perfume. It’s not difficult. He’s very black and white, more so as he’s got older.

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2023 08:09

I'd rather nothing than the things you've listed. I don't understand your logic that flowers are a waste of money but the other things you've listed aren't.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 14/02/2023 08:11

If he normally buys you flowers and you told him not to bother, I'm not surprised he didn't get you anything.

I also don't get why you'd appreciate over-priced chocolate hearts, a generic bottle of wine or "cheap perfume" anymore than a nice bunch of roses but maybe that's just me Confused

JennyDarlingRIP · 14/02/2023 08:14

DH hasn't got me anything, in not too fussed to be honest, although he feels terrible. There was some miscommunication, we had spoken about valentine's Day (neither of us takes it very seriously), he said do you want to do anything I said nah not really, I'm not bothered, we should probably at least do cards though (I did also end up getting him a small present, very romantic handcream 😁 his hands are dry and I noticed he was running out so got him a nicer one than he'd buy himself).
Then later in the day I got an email from my gym that said I can take a guest for free this week as a valentine's offer. I said to DH there you go we can take DS swimming for free that's what we'll do for valentines day (I'm a member DS is a swim club member so usually have to pay for DH).
He thought I meant instead of cards etc. Which I can see how that happened. Also we had a lovely wedding anniversary a few weeks ago, with a city break, I got some very nice thoughtful presents at Christmas, same and a nice day out and restaurant dinner for my birthday, so no valentine's card really isn't something I'm going to get upset about. He's now running about making breakfast, dealing with DS having brought me a cup of tea and told me to stay in bed, so actually it's all worked out pretty well!

Karmatime · 14/02/2023 08:15

Only just realised it’s VD. We have both been ill and I know for a fact DP won’t realise so I’m not going to rush out and get a card as it will only make him feel like shit.

WordtoYoMumma · 14/02/2023 08:15

What's the point in exchanging token cheap gifts with no thought anyway? A bottle of wine is something that comes in my grocery shop, I wouldn't appreciate it as a gift...

We don't do cards and gifts for V Day, too soon after Xmas and money is tight.

mrsbyers · 14/02/2023 08:17

Meh , we don’t even bother getting a dine in deal from M&S now - I’ll see if I get a text from him when he realises but as long as he gets home safe from work for a nice supper and a chill watching tv and that’ll do me fine

Cosyblankets · 14/02/2023 08:19

I've always said don't get me flowers for valentines. It never occurred to me that he'd buy something else. Can't see the point of I got you wine and you got me wine to be honest. I would far rather have flowers for just because now and then. He does this.... which reminds me I need to change the water on the flowers from last week lol

Theluggage15 · 14/02/2023 08:19

foghead · 14/02/2023 08:03

Ask him to sort out a nice a breakfast or dinner instead.

Why?

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:22

I bet you’d be pissed off if you got some cheap perfume. Why would you want that instead of flowers?

bostonchamps · 14/02/2023 08:22

Nothing says romance like pre-agreeing how you will show each other you love one another on one set date.

Lobelia123 · 14/02/2023 08:23

What did you get him?

It sounds a bit like you're waiting for him to perform and provide you with a thoughtful and lovign gift, but surely its a two way thing? Or do you just expect to be given something and bask in the thoughtfulness without reciprocating?

Skinnermarink · 14/02/2023 08:23

The only thing I want someone to give me at that time of the morning is a cup of strong coffee.

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:25

FrenchandSaunders · 14/02/2023 07:27

i gave him a bottle of wine and he say “oh I thought we weren’t doing presents this year”

A generic bottle of wine sounds pretty boring as a VD gift tbf.

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:26

Lobelia123 · 14/02/2023 08:23

What did you get him?

It sounds a bit like you're waiting for him to perform and provide you with a thoughtful and lovign gift, but surely its a two way thing? Or do you just expect to be given something and bask in the thoughtfulness without reciprocating?

She said she bought him a bottle of wine.

2chocolateoranges · 14/02/2023 08:26

Today is just another day in our house. If he needs one special day to say he loves me and vice versa then there is a problem. Can’t remember the last time we did anything for Valentine’s Day. It’s not important .

Justalittlebitduckling · 14/02/2023 08:27

Honest mistake.

Lobelia123 · 14/02/2023 08:28

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:26

She said she bought him a bottle of wine.

Show quote history

Missed that....thanks for bringing me up to speed

DrMarciaFieldstone · 14/02/2023 08:28

All the other things in your list are just as much of a waste of money (except maybe wine). Why are so many people so conditional about what they get for Valentine’s Day?

So much ado over nothing. Do it or don’t, who cares

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:30

Lobelia123 · 14/02/2023 08:28

Missed that....thanks for bringing me up to speed

Show quote history

Saw now it was in the update so easy to miss.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 14/02/2023 08:32

Poor guy - I’d have interpreted it the same way.

AnnaMagnani · 14/02/2023 08:43

TBH I'd see any Valentine themed product as an expensive rip off - chocs, perfume, the lot.

So I can see why he interpreted it this way.

Mumof3teenagers · 14/02/2023 08:44

You don’t need Valentine’s Day to know how ye feel about each other.

Mrsuntidy · 14/02/2023 08:47

Seriously? Who wakes up and gives Valentine's gifts like Christmas. I just don't get it. I've been with my DH thirteen years and we've stopped this very early. We used to get each other cards and a crappy gift when we first started dating but now we don't. We love each other and will have a nice takeaway this eve but I don't understand this desire to confess love one day a year. I know he loves me- I know when he adds my favourite bar of chocolate to the shopping or when he surprises me with a coffee from the coffee shop whilst I'm asleep. He knows when I cook his favourite meal just because or when I let him have the best space on the sofa 😉

LittleBearPad · 14/02/2023 08:48

Cheap perfume? I’d rather have flowers ( cheap or otherwise)

Pirateships · 14/02/2023 08:49

Sounds like he was going to get you flowers and when you said don't get me flowers he read that as: don't get me anything. I'd assume similar tbh, say what you mean next time.