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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you need to watch your language at work?

139 replies

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 20:57

I line manage an associate who started in October. Young guy, 23 or 24. At first he was really really shy but he’s come out of his shell now.. and now he’s started chatting his language is quite bad!

Nothing massively offensive just things like “bloody HMRC”, “what the hells that about”, “what a load of shite”.

I am pretty chill as a manager and young-ish myself but I would never use that language to another team member let alone my manager!

AIBU to think this is rude? Or am I just being uptight?

If we were in the office I would pull him up on it but he only works remotely so it’s only me that hears it. If it gets any worse I will say something though. I’m worried it’s because he started work not long before lockdowns (at another firm), so maybe doesn’t know workplace etiquette?!

OP posts:
Lordofthebutterfloofs · 13/02/2023 20:58

Workplaces should be inclusive and as such we should behave appropriately.

Oysterbabe · 13/02/2023 20:59

Yabu. That is incredibly tame and every office I've ever worked in has been more sweary than that.

Whyisitsososohard · 13/02/2023 21:01

Yeah you're being uptight.

olympicsrock · 13/02/2023 21:02

Apart from shite which is not so bad, it sounds pretty normal

pottshrigley · 13/02/2023 21:02

I genuinely don't even think I'd notice the examples you gave.

WomensLandArmy · 13/02/2023 21:02

I thought you were going to mention far worse words!

UmbilicusProfundus · 13/02/2023 21:02

Thank fuck I don’t work at your place

JenniferBarkley · 13/02/2023 21:03

That's pretty mild to me, as long as it's only in front of colleagues and not clients or children.

Is he British? "What a load of shite" sounds Irish to me (I'm Irish, may be wrong maybe it's universal) - we definitely have a more lenient attitude to swearing.

Snowpatrolling · 13/02/2023 21:04

Oh Christ you would have sacked me by now! I use the f word a fair bit!!!

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 13/02/2023 21:04

You're being uptight. I've had a colleague exclaim "fucking Kiwi" next to me while I was on the phone to a customer. THAT was a problem.

Amazongirl9 · 13/02/2023 21:04

I work in a large LA office and most people are far more sweary than that. Obviously not with clients or when doing presentations etc. That said if your workplace isn’t, you as his manager need to tell him the expectations of your workplace. Just like dress code workplaces vary.

WandaWonder · 13/02/2023 21:04

I was expecting worse words than that, being loud and ranting and raving would be an issue but not just using those expressions in a normal way

NeonBoomerang · 13/02/2023 21:05

You're being extremely uptight! That's such mild language

Original poster
Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 21:05

We’re all Scottish in Scotland - that probably won’t swing things in my favour 😂

OP posts:
Rebellious23 · 13/02/2023 21:05

Think that's fairly normal?
Although I called my boss a dick so... BlushGrin

Warspite · 13/02/2023 21:05

It’s my opinion that his language is inappropriate in a work setting. I worked in a scientific setting on an open plan floor plate with probably 80 other colleagues. Most of them were men. I never heard anyone use language like that however inoffensive some MN’s might think it is.
If he is going against the culture of your office he needs a word in his ear from management. Where will it end otherwise? I’d hate it.

JenniferBarkley · 13/02/2023 21:06

Oh yeah that's surely mild in Scotland Grin

misssunshine4040 · 13/02/2023 21:06

I would hate to work in an environment like that. Swearing is fine as long as it's not at someone in a threatening way.
I'm a hospitality manager and we all swear just not at or in earshot of customers

butterfliedtwo · 13/02/2023 21:08

I would have been fired from your office. Bloody hell is part of my every day vocabulary.

Pineapplemonkey · 13/02/2023 21:09

I think he was being unreasonable for only using the word bloody (even my very elderly grandmother doesn’t class this as a swear word!) about HMRC, most people would use much much stronger language surely?!

belimoo · 13/02/2023 21:09

I try not to swear at work and most of my colleagues don't either but your examples do seem mild. I have one colleague who swears and says fuck a lot and it's definitely noticeable as not being appropriate to me. I don't actually care and like the colleague a lot but it stands out.

UserNameSameGame · 13/02/2023 21:09

Certain terms you use make me think perhaps you work in a professional services firm? In which case I would suggest you feed back that it’s not what would be expected. If you don’t tell him, he won’t know.

However, if it’s a different type of industry it might be more widely tolerated.

Namechangedatheist · 13/02/2023 21:10

I'm afraid my language is significantly worse than that in my office (Government body)...
Not quite as bad as 'The Thick of It', but getting there 🤣

Findyourneutralspace · 13/02/2023 21:11

That’s really mild. Is your office generally very formal?

Mortimermay · 13/02/2023 21:12

That sounds very mild to me, you wouldn't want to work in my office! You haven't given any context for when he's using that language though so if it was in front of clients/other professionals then that would be different, but if this is just general office chat then I don't think it's an issue. It will depend on the culture of your workplace I guess.
I would advise you to think carefully about how you approach it if you do though. We had one colleague who would actively tell people off for swearing in the office. He was very quickly not liked and there was always an atmosphere when he was around as people felt they were walking on eggshells trying not to offend him.