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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you need to watch your language at work?

139 replies

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 20:57

I line manage an associate who started in October. Young guy, 23 or 24. At first he was really really shy but he’s come out of his shell now.. and now he’s started chatting his language is quite bad!

Nothing massively offensive just things like “bloody HMRC”, “what the hells that about”, “what a load of shite”.

I am pretty chill as a manager and young-ish myself but I would never use that language to another team member let alone my manager!

AIBU to think this is rude? Or am I just being uptight?

If we were in the office I would pull him up on it but he only works remotely so it’s only me that hears it. If it gets any worse I will say something though. I’m worried it’s because he started work not long before lockdowns (at another firm), so maybe doesn’t know workplace etiquette?!

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 13/02/2023 21:30

Bloody and hell aren't swearing so that wouldn't even register in any workplace I've been in, and in my mind shite is so fun it's barely swearing. This isn't a problem, unless he's using these words in formal communication.

whatthehelldowecare · 13/02/2023 21:31

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 21:20

We work in a large accountancy firm in private client tax and it’s still pretty old school. Like I would never say “Hi” to a client in an email and if it was the first time emailing I’d always say “Dear Mr/Mrs Surname”. (But the firm I trained in was quite strict with those things!)

I am quite new to the firm myself and nobody really goes into the office so I don’t know what the norm is. I really have no idea if the other managers/partners would mind or not!

I'm Scottish and a solicitor. Every firm I've worked at it's been discouraged to use 'Hi' and first names to clients as the overwhelming feeling is that this is much preferred.

Also don't believe for a second that you're Scottish and work for a Scottish firm and you have to ask if those comments are normal. They are very very tame in comparison to what I hear daily at work

Moonflower12 · 13/02/2023 21:31

@liveforsummer
I have heard a few choice words out of my Early Years class, occasionally, including the C word.

BurbageBrook · 13/02/2023 21:32

You sound extremely uptight, wow!

eurochick · 13/02/2023 21:33

My first boss's catchphrase when he was really pissed off was the deeply unpleasant " fuck em in the eyes". This was in a City law firm.

thedancingbear · 13/02/2023 21:34

Oddly, it was ‘bellend’ that got me pulled up for my language, despite far worse words being almost de rigeur in my office.

nothing to see here, OP.

Neurotic90 · 13/02/2023 21:34

Christ, you'd have a heart attack in my workplace. Also Scottish, massive national employer and I've heard our board of directors use the word cunt in formal meetings several times 😂. I'm genuinely surprised you're Scottish, I've got to assume you're not in the West where fuck is basically punctuation?

Floofydawg · 13/02/2023 21:34

eurochick · 13/02/2023 21:33

My first boss's catchphrase when he was really pissed off was the deeply unpleasant " fuck em in the eyes". This was in a City law firm.

I'm using that one tomorrow.

Dunnoburt · 13/02/2023 21:34

Tame.....wouldn't bother me... not like he's dropping the C bomb every other word......

lljkk · 13/02/2023 21:38

My workplace is very prim & 4 letter words are almost never said.

Bloke colleague in a fury (always in a fury, not at me I hasten to add) dropped the C-word the other day. I'm so used to sweary MNers that I didn't blink, but a different male colleague told the angry guy to watch his language.

It was grossly unprofessional but then so are daily tantrums at work, so...

AliMonkey · 13/02/2023 21:40

I agree OP. If it's very very occasional then I wouldn't like it but wouldn't pull him up on it but if it's fairly frequent then yes that's inappropriate. My boss swears more often than I would like and I do sometimes pull him up on that as well. It's just not necessary.

YungDumbThrills · 13/02/2023 21:41

My god you'd be mortified by the office I work in 😂

AuntieEntity · 13/02/2023 21:42

eurochick · 13/02/2023 21:33

My first boss's catchphrase when he was really pissed off was the deeply unpleasant " fuck em in the eyes". This was in a City law firm.

Ha, I've also used this one!

Augend23 · 13/02/2023 21:44

Gosh, I am horrendously sweary. Bloody and hell would be my toned down words for whatever I had wanted to say.

My previous work knew things were bad when I upgraded from shit show to clusterfuck for my description of a situation.

I'd never swear at somebody, and I'd only very rarely swear about a person, it's usually situational, and not agressive.

Hawkins003 · 13/02/2023 21:45

For me I prefer eg oh pickles, these days you never know who's listening

Original poster
Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 21:46

Gads looks like I am very much in the minority 😂😂 better go and take the stick out of my backside eh

To be clear I don’t mind swearing outside of work, I just don’t see the point in it at work!

OP posts:
SeeYouNextTLol · 13/02/2023 21:46

Grow up! For Fuck Sake! 😂

Hawkins003 · 13/02/2023 21:46

Or taking the biscuits
Or what a pickle,
Or eg omg
Or holy smokes

Hawkins003 · 13/02/2023 21:47

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 21:46

Gads looks like I am very much in the minority 😂😂 better go and take the stick out of my backside eh

To be clear I don’t mind swearing outside of work, I just don’t see the point in it at work!

I see it as unprofessional and not needed, plus it can damage the company reputation etc

MaverickGooseGoose · 13/02/2023 21:48

You wouldn't want to work where I work op, it's just words and a way of letting off steam.

Luredbyapomegranate · 13/02/2023 21:50

Blimey that’s very mild stuff OP.

I work in a very fucking sweary industry and I realise they aren’t all, but if you can’t say Bloody HMRC what CAN you say..

MishaBukvic · 13/02/2023 21:50

I'd let those phrases go, but anything ruder than "shite ", like fuck/fucking hell, I'd perhaps ask them to rein it in.

The language in the office I work in is appalling. My boss doesn't lead by example. He has a nickname of Sweary Jonathan because of all the effing and jeffing. Quite often Sweary Jonathan will refer to someone as "a complete fucking turkey" and situations as "a right fuck up, they're twats".

I don't swear in the office at all now after I had a bad experience several years ago. I had a customer on the phone who was giving me a hard time, and after I put the phone down I said " Oh do fuck off , fucks sake ". But.... I hadn't terminated the call properly and the customer heard!! That was a very awkward apology call I had to make , and never swear in office now because you never know who is listening.

whatadoodledo · 13/02/2023 21:50

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 13/02/2023 21:04

You're being uptight. I've had a colleague exclaim "fucking Kiwi" next to me while I was on the phone to a customer. THAT was a problem.

Ohhhh what happened!

CherLloydbyCherLloyd · 13/02/2023 21:52

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 21:05

We’re all Scottish in Scotland - that probably won’t swing things in my favour 😂

I’m Scottish and in Scotland and work in a professional setting. We all use worse than that, boss or no boss present.

Luredbyapomegranate · 13/02/2023 21:52

Augend23 · 13/02/2023 21:44

Gosh, I am horrendously sweary. Bloody and hell would be my toned down words for whatever I had wanted to say.

My previous work knew things were bad when I upgraded from shit show to clusterfuck for my description of a situation.

I'd never swear at somebody, and I'd only very rarely swear about a person, it's usually situational, and not agressive.

I used to have a boss who would say we aren’t just fucked we’re fucked in the water as his escalation phrase.

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