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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you need to watch your language at work?

139 replies

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 20:57

I line manage an associate who started in October. Young guy, 23 or 24. At first he was really really shy but he’s come out of his shell now.. and now he’s started chatting his language is quite bad!

Nothing massively offensive just things like “bloody HMRC”, “what the hells that about”, “what a load of shite”.

I am pretty chill as a manager and young-ish myself but I would never use that language to another team member let alone my manager!

AIBU to think this is rude? Or am I just being uptight?

If we were in the office I would pull him up on it but he only works remotely so it’s only me that hears it. If it gets any worse I will say something though. I’m worried it’s because he started work not long before lockdowns (at another firm), so maybe doesn’t know workplace etiquette?!

OP posts:
Fleur405 · 13/02/2023 22:50

I also work in a professional service firm in Scotland. Also pretty formal in the sense we would never say “hi” in an email to a client unless we knew them very well and they used such language themselves/first email alway Dear title.

But on the swearing front, I don’t think you’d like it much at my firm! I mean is saying “what the hell” even swearing really??

I was speaking to a colleague in London the other day and that also involved much swearing (but then some of the shite (or shit in London) we have to put up with from the partners is even more annoying than HMRC…)

TrishM80 · 13/02/2023 22:52

"I am pretty chill as a manager and young-ish myself"

Did anyone else get an image of David Brent here?

GyozaGuiting · 13/02/2023 22:52

Some of the brightest and most accomplished professionals I work with, (Cambridge grads on £100k+) swear, work can be stressful! Who cares?

TheFireflies · 13/02/2023 22:56

I’m a social worker so we all swear like sailors in the safe confines of the office.

We even had The Fuck It Bucket written on the office white board, under which people could list the stuff that was pissing them off.

(it was always about the employer, not the families)

blippyissilly · 13/02/2023 23:06

I sometimes drop the c bomb at work and so do others inc the manager

Nobody cares

Original poster
Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 23:15

TrishM80 · 13/02/2023 22:52

"I am pretty chill as a manager and young-ish myself"

Did anyone else get an image of David Brent here?

😅

OP posts:
whatadoodledo · 13/02/2023 23:17

@LadyOfTheFliessssss Shock

Frabbits · 13/02/2023 23:18

"Or am I just being uptight?"

It's this one. HTH.

Ruffpuff · 13/02/2023 23:24

Even Ron Weasley said ‘bloody hell’. Get a grip for fuck sake.

crackersforcrackers · 13/02/2023 23:29

YABU that's super mild compared to my office! I'm in the room next to the COO's office and can hear her slamming down the phone and shouting FUCKING BITCH through the wall 😂

sjpkgp1 · 13/02/2023 23:31

@ Christmascracker0. The examples you give are not too bad, which is why some other posters are saying they hear far worse etc. I've worked in a Big 4 accountancy firm for many years, and some of the language is inappropriate. Yes, when it is a one to one or an internal office situation, or small meeting, fine - we all get frustrated at times. I think it is unprofessional in a larger meeting, and never in front of a client.

mrsoodles · 13/02/2023 23:42

My line manager rang me today to explain to me that he himself had been a "stupid bastard who has just fucked the system up the arse."

He didn't mind when I agreed.

We are v professional. Normally. Grin

Glitterybee · 14/02/2023 00:27

I wouldn’t even say any of the examples you gave were swearing!

I work for a professional services company as a senior manager and everyone swears constantly - from junior levels through to directors!

my own manager told me today that I was being a dick! I thought nothing off it

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 14/02/2023 00:40

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 13/02/2023 21:04

You're being uptight. I've had a colleague exclaim "fucking Kiwi" next to me while I was on the phone to a customer. THAT was a problem.

To be fair it can be quite tricky getting the skin of a Kiwi, I find the best way to eat one is to slice the top off and then, with a teaspoon, dig in rather like a boiled egg. Bloody lovely.

pinkappleorpineapple · 14/02/2023 00:41

In a previous workplace our team used to be quite sweary, arsehole, cunt, fuck this, were all just accepted. I moved to a new role where the mildest of swearing (bloody, sod that) was not acceptable. It was a huge fucking culture shock and a bit ridiculous.
Both public sector, I still miss my old role just for the creative swearing.

BeetlesForever · 14/02/2023 00:45

Bloody hell is the equivalent of goodness me - no?

MotherOfPuffling · 14/02/2023 00:48

My child learned to swear from listening in to my work team meetings during lockdowns, so…

Notatallanamechange · 14/02/2023 00:53

We had a swear jar we had to discontinue because it was costing us all a fortune and the month’s total resulted in hideously messy night out (twas the kitty)

lyla12 · 14/02/2023 00:57

Surely you aren't counting bloody as swearing ? Not sure where in Scotland you're from but there is far far far worse words spoken in my office

Lavender14 · 14/02/2023 01:06

I'm of the opinion as long as the language isn't directed aggressively at someone/ a slur of any description/ used because he is literally losing it with stress and isnt coping/ isn't used infront of clients then I wouldn't pull him up on that at all.

pinkappleorpineapple · 14/02/2023 01:13

BeetlesForever · 14/02/2023 00:45

Bloody hell is the equivalent of goodness me - no?

Not according to my workplace, people took offence at bloody and sodding and for them the c word was crap 😂
They had a list of words people night not realise were offensive.
@TheFireflies one of the most offended parties was a social worker! Someone said shit in a meeting and he complained to their manager about the bad example.

I do get that there are levels of professionalism and really don't like swearing in front of children or obnoxious performance swearing from people in a shopping centre or whatever but a few little swear words can release a lot of frustration.

WrendaleCountryDogs · 14/02/2023 01:24

I often tell my manager to fuck off, as does she to me 😆

drunkornot · 14/02/2023 01:46

I could see the comment “Bloody HMRC” being made in jest. However I wouldn’t say it’s the best choice of language at work regardless. I would avoid saying “bloody”, it has poor connotations. It’s not formal. It expresses annoyance etc. Better to use neutral language surely?

”what the hell is that about” comes across as aggressive. If “the hell” was removed, the tone would be different. But again, he can use a better phrase to get his point across professionally.

“what a load of shite” is rude and doesn’t have a place in a formal/corporate environment. If someone said that to me/my manager or in a meeting they would get reprimanded. Standards of behaviour etc.

whilst I wouldn’t consider these sackable offences, I would be wary about leaving this colleague alone with stakeholders or senior managers as I would be worried about how he may come across to them. I wouldn’t trust his judgment.

SkankingWombat · 14/02/2023 02:35

If it's acceptable in a PG film, it's fine for an office chat between colleagues, surely? I would (and do) stick to more of a U-rating with clients unless I know them a little, however.

hilariousnamehere · 14/02/2023 02:44

SiobhanSharpe · 13/02/2023 21:27

I worked in a newsroom for over 25 years and the air wasn't just blue, it was positively indigo-violet.

I learned to swear properly working in a newsroom aged 19 😂