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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you need to watch your language at work?

139 replies

Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 20:57

I line manage an associate who started in October. Young guy, 23 or 24. At first he was really really shy but he’s come out of his shell now.. and now he’s started chatting his language is quite bad!

Nothing massively offensive just things like “bloody HMRC”, “what the hells that about”, “what a load of shite”.

I am pretty chill as a manager and young-ish myself but I would never use that language to another team member let alone my manager!

AIBU to think this is rude? Or am I just being uptight?

If we were in the office I would pull him up on it but he only works remotely so it’s only me that hears it. If it gets any worse I will say something though. I’m worried it’s because he started work not long before lockdowns (at another firm), so maybe doesn’t know workplace etiquette?!

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 13/02/2023 21:13

That's mild language in any situation but non Scotland it's like normal. I work with 4/5 year olds in a school and would hear worse from them 😆

LlynTegid · 13/02/2023 21:14

If you don't like it then valid to raise it, with him personally 1 to 1.

Though I'd forgive him the comment about HMRC.

(I'm known for never swearing at work, indeed sometimes say I won't swear so as to deny others the satisfaction).

20viona · 13/02/2023 21:14

Christ my 3 year old says 'what the hells that about' that isn't offensive language to me and neither is anything you mentioned! I work in a hospital and our department is predominant female and every other word is fuck 😂😂

BankOfDave · 13/02/2023 21:14

UmbilicusProfundus · 13/02/2023 21:02

Thank fuck I don’t work at your place

😂

ZeroFuchsGiven · 13/02/2023 21:15

Id be sacked in a day if you were my manager 😂

DuesToTheDirt · 13/02/2023 21:15

I'm in Scotland, and none of your examples would bother me in the workplace, unless the person is saying them in front of customers or children.

HundredMilesAnHour · 13/02/2023 21:16

Very mild indeed, especially given the guy was at home and only you could hear him. I work in Financial Services and unless we're in front of a client (and it very much depends on the client), we use fuck like a comma.

Proudofitbabe · 13/02/2023 21:18

You'd hate my office 😳

Angelofthenortheast · 13/02/2023 21:19

OMG yes definitely YABU. you're all adults aren't you? Even Bart Simpson says what the hell.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 13/02/2023 21:19

I think office cultures differ enormously. I went from a very sweary office to one where saying "bloody" would have been taboo. I couldn't believe how different it was!

As a boss now, I don't really care if staff in my team swear, as long as they don't do it in front of clients/external stakeholders. It has no bearing on how good they are at their jobs and I don't really want to employ people who are likely to be uptight about that kind of thing. They're just words!

The examples that you have listed are very, very tame, and it would be on the extreme end of no-swearing culture to say that "bloody" or "what the hell" are unacceptable. Personally, I think you're being uptight but you will know the wider culture in your workplace better than I do.

Moonflower12 · 13/02/2023 21:20

I'm a teacher and swear much worse than that at work. Obviously out of earshot of the children.

Original poster
Christmascracker0 · 13/02/2023 21:20

We work in a large accountancy firm in private client tax and it’s still pretty old school. Like I would never say “Hi” to a client in an email and if it was the first time emailing I’d always say “Dear Mr/Mrs Surname”. (But the firm I trained in was quite strict with those things!)

I am quite new to the firm myself and nobody really goes into the office so I don’t know what the norm is. I really have no idea if the other managers/partners would mind or not!

OP posts:
poppinpink · 13/02/2023 21:20

JenniferBarkley · 13/02/2023 21:06

Oh yeah that's surely mild in Scotland Grin

Yes it is. I'm Scottish 😂

Gemstar2 · 13/02/2023 21:22

I think it depends a lot on the context and your culture. If HMRC is a stakeholder and it was a planning meeting about stakeholder engagement, for example, that would not be appropriate. If you were having a 121 and he was telling you he has been emergency taxed, personally I wouldn’t have an issue with that language, but I would take the lead from others around me, ie never swear to a manager unless I heard them do so.

If it bothers you, you need to say so early to nip it in the bud. If it doesn’t bother you but you think it could be a problem elsewhere, you could say something like “that kind of thing is ok in these 121 settings but please make sure when you’re speaking to our clients/bosses/whoever you keep it professional and avoid words like “shite. I know we all do it sometimes but let’s try to make sure we’re professional in front of X”.

AuntieEntity · 13/02/2023 21:23

We're at Malcolm Tucker levels of swearing where I work, but I do work in a fairly high pressured environment. We are, however, regularly reminded of the workplace policies re: respecting one another and not making the workplace an uncomfortable place for one's colleagues. So whilst we do it, we're aware that we shouldn't.

Definitely don't do it with service users or in meetings.

Getir · 13/02/2023 21:23

That's barely swearing. Is your office a bit on the prim side?

Getir · 13/02/2023 21:25

Also my line manager swears like a trooper.

RalIy · 13/02/2023 21:26

Is this for real? If you genuinely think that is bad I think you’d have a heart attack if you heard some of the language we use in my office!

BigGreen · 13/02/2023 21:26

Ah I'd love to work in a Malcolm Tucker workplace 😂.

liveforsummer · 13/02/2023 21:26

Moonflower12 · 13/02/2023 21:20

I'm a teacher and swear much worse than that at work. Obviously out of earshot of the children.

I've got primary 1 children who swear worse than that 😆

SiobhanSharpe · 13/02/2023 21:27

I worked in a newsroom for over 25 years and the air wasn't just blue, it was positively indigo-violet.

Floofydawg · 13/02/2023 21:28

Fucking hell, it's a good job you don't work with me.

tigger1001 · 13/02/2023 21:29

Pineapplemonkey · 13/02/2023 21:09

I think he was being unreasonable for only using the word bloody (even my very elderly grandmother doesn’t class this as a swear word!) about HMRC, most people would use much much stronger language surely?!

Agreed 😂

I deal with Hmrc on a daily basis and that's certainly very mild compared to how we describe them 😂🙈

Ffsmakeitstop · 13/02/2023 21:29

I work in a shop and most of us swear. Not in earshot of customers obviously. But we do have one colleague who called our manager a motherfucker now that one was a shocker. Fortunately they have worked together a long time but still crossed a line I think. He just ignored her.