To think the head teacher should never have said the N word

[LittleMissMe99]

For context the head teacher of my children's secondary school decided to address racism by saying the N word. She actually said that she had asked permission from the other teachers to say the word....they're all white.

I'm literally gobsmacked. So AIBU to think she shouldn't have said it even if it was "teaching" kids not to say it?

In the right context I dont think theres any thing wrong with saying that word.

Are there any black or mixed race kids in the class?

I don't want anyone playing music with that kind of offensive language frankly. If it wasn't out there in public we wouldn't have to have teachers talking to kids about it.

Buy again, you can't have it both ways. Either it's bad enough to never be uttered by anyone, or it's not bad enough and can be sung in music and talked about properly.

To be clear, I hate the slur. Horrid word. I want it banned by everyone in every single possible use. Nasty word.

you can’t have it both ways

Of course you can it is about context and what is appropriate in one setting not being so in another.

Some pornography is legal: we don’t display it in a fucking school assembly, do we?

We also don't let children watch it at home, as part of mainstream entertainment do we, and it has an age rating.

Yet rap music is freely available On Amazon prime, Spotify etc.

Thats comparing apples and oranges somewhat

The N word isn't appropriate in ANY setting, its a derogatory word FFS!!

But whilst it's out in mainstream life we have to teach children not to say it, and they have to know which word they cannot say.

I’m not being difficult, but the above argument is that because it is featured in rap music, it’s acceptable to say anywhere. I really don’t think that’s the case at all. I’m a bit like a PP and taken aback at how many people seem to think this is absolutely fine. It really isn’t.

The N-word is something that white people should no longer use, in any context.

She shouldn't have used it. Under no circumstance whatsoever. White people spend an awful lot of time imagining hypothetical situations they would be justified to use it in and many would relish the opportunity. The white people who don't consider themselves racist love to dress up its usage as appropriate depending on 'the context'. They love it, they're more affronted at being told not to use it than the usage of the word. Many would welcome the opportunity to wake up in the morning, open their window and with the use of a megaphone shout 'Morning N-words' out the window.

I’m not being difficult, but the above argument is that because it is featured in rap music, it’s acceptable to say anywhere. I really don’t think that’s the case

Neither do I, Julyshewillfly, though I can see the point of the PP who mentioned that, were it not for the fact it's spewed out all the time in rap music, the word itself could well have fallen into disuse

Which IMO would have been no bad thing

In your fevered imagination.

You've misunderstood.

It's not acceptable and shouldn't even be in rap music. But since it is in rap music we have to teach children not to say it and how can we do that if we don't tell people what that word is!! They're not mind readers.

I don't care if you're white, black, brown or bloody polka dot. It can't be one rule for one and not for another. The word isn't acceptable full stop, and shouldn't cross anyones lips but since it is out there in mainstream vernacular we have a responsibility to teach the youth about the word, why it's awful and why it shouldn't be used and in the context of that lesson it can and should be used otherwise you are just watering down the lesson and asking them to guess what word you mean. Write it down, they're gonna say it anyway so have a discussion, have that conversation.

We cannot beat racism without having these conversations out loud!!

Totally this!!

It's not acceptable and shouldn't even be in rap music. But since it is in rap music we have to teach children not to say it and how can we do that if we don't tell people what that word is!! They're not mind readers.

I think it would be useful to have some guidance from the black mumsnetters here because I can see that I got it wrong in my earlier post and I do genuinely want to get it right - it is important.

When such a word is in circulation (for whatever reason), how do we properly combat it without compounding the offense? I definitely don't agree with the point that it must be ok if it's in rap and I think black people as individuals and a community are fully in charge of whether it is used by them but when it's out there for whatever reason, what can white people do to make sure that our children don't use it, ever?

As a white person, I can assure that I have never spent as much as a second imagining such situations.

I think you might benefit from therapy.

YANBU but don't be surprised to learn that non-black MNet users are coincidentally completely fine with it.

Following with interest. My primary aged daughter was taught the word at school (by kids) and we had a conversation. Thing is, I'm white and she's a very very fair mixed race. She doesn't class herself as white though. After our conversation she asked me if she could use the word because she's black. I don't know? Obviously I told her not to use the word but I probably confused my explanations. Her Dad is unfortunately not much good at in depth conversations so it was left to me.

I doubt the headteacher would feel so comfortable using a racial slur against Jewish people regardless of the context

You're right. The public Vs private approach is very relevant here. My brother says he remembers school assemblies where we all had to say the correct version together. But he could well be winding me up.

I honestly can't remember if they used the word at the time as this was 30ish years ago but I seem to think yes... I could be misremembering though

Rap music features sexual assault on women, murder, gun references, words like motherfucker. We wouldn’t have these used in a school assembly. It really isn’t acceptable to say that because they are used in rap music, it has to be repeated in a school.

I'm not.

But I will say I don't envy Black Mumsnetters having to play racist whack-a-mole. Remember, you are not the Arsehole Whisperer!

The parenting aspect may be different. A quiet word is fine. But in teaching, there are lots of great anti-racist organisations who can do an assembly. Teach kids properly. Not just about one word.

You are not the arsehole whisperer are truly words to live by.

I genuinely am shocked by the number of people who are happy to completely disregard the view and lives experiences of Black Mumsnet users and blithely declare that a teacher saying the n-word in an assembly is a “non-issue” with no thought to how it might have felt to be a Black student in that situation.

You have no idea the trauma that word has attached to it and of course you wouldn’t, but maybe listen to those of us who have heard that word in its worst context rather than having the arrogance that on this issue of all issues, you know better.

In response to your question @Smartiepants79 - no I don't think white people should use any of those derogatory terms. Ever. I'm Romani on my mother's side and would never use the terms you're thinking of.

BTW I can name many pop songs with all those things. And I can find many fantastic, uplifting, educational rap songs without.

There was a wonderful thread about rap not so long ago. Really enlightening.

When you know, you know...