To think the head teacher should never have said the N word

[LittleMissMe99]

For context the head teacher of my children's secondary school decided to address racism by saying the N word. She actually said that she had asked permission from the other teachers to say the word....they're all white.

I'm literally gobsmacked. So AIBU to think she shouldn't have said it even if it was "teaching" kids not to say it?

That is a total non answer, and irrelevant!

When my son was racially bullied, the school supported him to write the slurs down. He couldn't bring himself say them out loud and nobody read the piece of paper out loud.

My children don't need to hear trusted adults saying slurs in any context.

Bloody hell, rappers rap about all sorts I wouldn’t want my children being told about in assembly!

I'm shocked. If I was sat in the room and heard someone say it i would have a horrible feeling in my stomach.

It can be explained that it's not to be used without actually saying the word.

Exactly@NewMum0305 I was just waiting to see who would be the first poster to bring that up. I am surprised it took that long, actually.

It's okay for black rappers to use it... because they're black.

Absolutely, there is "one rule for them and another for everyone else based on the colour of the person using it" assuming the person using it is black themselves.

There's a huge difference between a black person using the n word and a white person using it.

They used to make the kids say the word when it was in the book they were reading at my school. I hope they've stopped that now.

But I do understand why one discussion about it would be needed.

I think maybe a video by a black person about the context may have been better than saying it themselves and then the teacher could've answered the questions and referred to it as the n word or the slur at hand after that.

The only people I encounter who seem to be "obsessed" with saying the word are black dudes.

I honestly think the word would have died it's natural death if not for the black community themselves keeping it alive.

Where I'm from, there was a 19th - 20th century word to describe unfavourably someone from the Jewish community. It has faded into a complete obscurity with the last 3 generations. No conflict, no arguments, just gone.

@Nimbostratus100 in books I think teachers should just say ‘the word that appears next is extremely offensive, and is still very upsetting for many people today. we will read it silently and not say it out loud’. This approach could be used for any offensive language.

Obviously not, PP is clearly saying, who decides when we say "the N word" or "the P word" even if used in an educational context. Does that stretch to all minorities? Would we say "the f word" for the homophobic slur? Or "the s word" for the misogynistic slur? I don't know, I'm just explaining what PP means by their comment. Personally, I don't know what the solution is.

It's a disgusting word. It's hugely offensive and originates from some brutal and inhumane times. Not sure what the obsession is with not saying the actual word out loud though, its just as offensive on paper. It still means the same thing when written down or even when you say "The N word". That doesn't take away from the meaning of it. I also don't really get being "allowed" to use it in music or film in a lighthearted way. I get "reclaiming" it, but actually it's still hugely offensive to other Black people even if you did feel comfortable using it. If a woman were to use misogynistic language around me, I wouldn't not be offended just because she's also a woman.

personally, I do agree this is the best, although there are students who use the word amongst themselves, and disagree with this policy

Is it? The suggestion seems to be that we can’t possibly teach children about the history of discrimination without using offensive language. I completely disagree.

What’s irrelevant is your opinion on a topic which I feel fairly confident doesn’t affect you day to day.

Right!

er , yes, irrelevant, and inaccurate, so I really dont see much point in continuing this interaction. I have no idea what you are talking about, and you have no idea what I am talking about

Did this really happen? This is abysmal. She asked a bunch of white folk if she could say the N word, then said it in front of an audience. Words fail me.

Fully agree, life is too short.

Tbf to kids though, they need to know what words they can't say so they don't say them accidentally.

For example, I was always taught the offensive version of "eeny, meeny, miny, mo" and as a kid I had no idea what was being caught by the toe. I just didn't know what that word meant, I had assumed it was some sort of animal. It was only when I was a bit older (still in primary school) that a teacher pulled me to one side and explained that I had to stop saying that word and use "tiger by the toe" instead. Once I was in secondary school that I really understood how bad the other version was.

Kids should be able to ask about words in trusted environments and be educated about the history and meaning

I think maybe a video by a black person about the context may have been better than saying it themselves and then the teacher could've answered the questions and referred to it as the n word or the slur at hand after that

Actually that seems to me a pretty good idea ...

She needed no permission from white people to tell the pupils" This is one of the words that we don't use". Many children need that boundary set.

Pretending it doesn't exist is a bit like thinking if you don't mention cancer you'll never get it.

Your example of a teacher quietly pulling you aside is very different. It’s direct, one to one, doesn’t subject black children to having to hear the word, isn’t in front of a large group of children potentially giving them an excuse to use it.

Did your teacher actually use the word when telling you not to use it?

Gosh it's a minefield isn't it. I believe wholeheartedly in freedom of speech and don't think white people should never say the word. However, I don't think this situation warranted it and although I've just said no to never, I still can't genuinely think of an instance where they should. I once said it in a similar circumstance to my DD, I was telling her it was unacceptable and I said it out loud. Tbh I shocked myself at how revolting it sounded, I justified it to myself in the split second leading up to saying it and regretted it the instant it came out. I vowed never to use it again for any reason. The headteacher will probably cringe inside out every time she remembers it.

Because its ridiculously contradictory!!

You can't say "oh it's alright to be heard in music" but "it's not okay to be heard anywhere else"

Either it's okay to be said, or it isn't and the colour of the persons skin is absolutely irrelevant.

You don't want it said, maybe stop advertising it in some glamorous rap video FFS. It's really not rocket science. Kids will emulate what they hear. Is it okay for a white kid to sing along to the song and use it then?? Or can only black kids sing along to those songs.

I HATE the word, with a passion. It's a vile, nasty slur along with the P word, the C word and lots of others. No one should be using it full stop.

But we have to teach children not to say it, and yes, that can be by a teacher. Rather a teacher saying it in the context of the nasty racist word it is, than a rapper using it to glamourise a lifestyle.

There’s a lot of stuff in rap music I don’t think is all right.

I don’t expect a headteacher to play rap music in an assembly, thanks. And I don’t expect them to use offensive language either. Not sure how that is contradictory.

I've listened to rap for 40 years and managed to avoid saying the word.

It's not rocket science.

Exactly, because at some stage you learnt the word was vile.

We have to teach kids. Mine knew the "N" word was bad, it was discussed at school. Then my 10yo came to me really confused as she didn't know what the "N" word was and was panicking that any word starting with N was the word and how would she know which word. So, I had to straight up tell my kids, out loud, what that word was and if I ever heard it come out of their mouths I would be furious!! They genuinely had no idea what the word was.

Imagine their horror when the neighbours son across the road (age 11) was playing hard-core rap music in his bedroom, over summer with the windows open. We had only moved in the month before and they were really upset that the N word was being played for the whole street to hear. So how is that any different to a teacher uttering it once in the context of "never say this word, its dispicable" and someone playing it out their window publicly and singing along for ALL to hear. Was that okay because it was music? Does it matter that the neighbours son was white and listening to it? Should he be banned from that music because he's white, but the teenager up the street whose black be allowed to play it??

Just fecking ban the word full stop and be done with it. Don't pick and chose!!