I’m so so frightened

[INEEDAWEEAGAIN]

Posting for traffic I need some positive experiences if any..

I suffer with horrific health anxiety, I pay privately for therapy. All my life on and off I’ve had a weird pelvic pressure but it goes away the same day this time I got it and began panicking over it as it felt worse. Then the past week I’ve been needing to wee all the time. A weird feeling down below. I had some antibiotics but felt they wasn’t working.

Saturday I stupidly booked an ultrasound to check everything was okay and they’ve found a cyst in my right ovarie and I have bulky ovaries. He said he can’t tell me if it’s cancer or not and I’m worried sick.

I’m absolutely devastated I have a little girl and we are each other’s world. I can’t bear it, I feel like I’ve been handed my death sentence 😭😭😭😭

Oh I do feel for you op. I too have severe health anxiety. The twinges, shoulder and back pain you are getting are almost certainly related to anxiety and fixating on your pelvis/stomach area . I get exactly the same thing. Cysts are so so common and I am sure you will be told all is ok.
im going to get therapy as my health anxiety rules every day of my life. Hope you consider doing the same .

& now I have heartburn which I read is another symptom 😢😢😢 I can’t do this

Heartburn is also a common symptom of anxiety.

Op I’m going through the same, I had one problem. In the last few months especially it’s gone from one small issue to, throat tightness, chest pains, leg pains, heartburn, lump in throat feeling, back & side pains. It comes & goes so I know it’s anxiety. I really feel for you, are you eating okay? I’ve damaged my throat with reflux as I’ve not been eating because I’ve been so mentally unwell 😘

OP, please stop looking up all your symptoms on the internet -- you know it's making you feel worse!

I’m on a health anxiety group and read these symptoms as others were worried so now everything I feel I relate it straight to OC

The health anxiety group is only going to feed your anxiety. I know this from experience. It's a bit like pro-anorexia groups. It might feel good at the start to be surrounded by others who have the same feelings and worries as you but it is going to be damaging your mental health and feeding your worries.

I totally agree, it does thread warnings but I read them thinking “oh I’m never going to be anxious over that” so read it, read the symptoms and now look. You know since I’ve been unwell with health anxiety I’ve “had”

cervical cancer (tested)
spinal tumour
bowel cancer (tested)
breast cancer (tested)
brain tumour
throat cancer
subungal melanoma (was just a bruise)
now ovarian cancer I’m 100% convinced about this one.

my daughter has “had”

throat cancer (recurrent tonsillitis and scar tissue luckily had tonsillectomy few weeks back)
leukaemia
lymphona
bone cancer (was just a broken toe)

What is going on with me 😢

If you read anything, read this. It helped me massively when I was having panic attacks to rationalise the symptoms

https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms

It does get better but you have to help yourself a bit and make sure to go to the GP as well. I had massive health anxiety. In 2017 I developed a rare condition (not saying what it was as I don't want you to think you have it but not ovary related!), they had to operate or I would have been paralysed
Do you know how much anxiety I had? None
Absolutely nothing. They operated, it was fine, and that was that, I did the op and recovery by myself and everyone commented how calm I was

It took ages for me to get like that but a combination of CBT, medication and simple things - don't read the side effects on a medication leaflet. Give it to someone you trust and only ask them to look at it if you have side effects but think rationally if it's anxiety causing it first

@Rebellious23 thank you for that link. It describes my best friend perfectly! I just need to find a way to sensitively share…

Thank you for all the kindness and the time you have taken to try & help me. I’ve felt awful all day, heartburn is sending me into overdrive. I keep whispering to myself that it’s rare at my age and anxiety can cause an awful lot of symptoms.

i feel very mothered, which is what I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Just braved myself to read my report and it says it’s a complex cyst with internal echo I feel so frightened 😢😢😢

Stop it! You're going to waste your life worrying about what you have and then when you don't have it, worrying about what you're going to get

Rationally if it is cancer, what can you do about it this minute, this hour, this day? Nothing. You can't change the outcome by worrying

Don't trouble until trouble troubles you - don't go looking for problems
You need to see the GP and start getting some treatment for the anxiety and find something else to focus on because this is no life

I'm fairly rational and this is how mine went
Went for a kidney scan and they said they're fine but there is a cyst on your ovary
Me "oh I wonder what could cause that, what happens now"
They do an ultrasound and confirm it's a cyst and ask me to come back in 2 weeks and have some bloods
I do that, and don't think about it in those 2 weeks
Second ultrasound cyst has gone

This week I've felt like I have a UTI starting and my first thought was "bet it's a stupid cyst again, anyway I need to do some exercise today" and carried on with my day

That could mean something to do with endometriosis, by the way.

Did you complete the course of antibiotics, or abandon them because you didn't think they were working?
In my experience they do take a day or two to kick in.
Hope your follow up appointments go well.

I’ve completed them x

I don’t have endometriosis & he said that part of me looked fine ☹️😞

Just because it is complex, doesn’t mean it is cancerous. Very few are, very few go on to be in time, there’s different things it can be. Don’t google, trust me. It’s very small, and benign ones grow very slowly. The can cause torsion and pain. There’s nothing to say they’ll become cancer either.

I’ve been where you are. It is crippling. But constant reassurance seeking and googling and psyching yourself up to read reports is only feeding it and perpetuating the cycle. You have to stop. You have to break the cycle. Whatever it is, it already is (so unlikely to be cancer) and you have ceased to live while you panic. It is so hard but you have to stop reading. It will weaken the anxiety. Distraction.

You will know in just a few days. And the odds are so very much in your favour as a young, pre-menopausal woman.

I've had complex cysts, just meant they weren't ones they came and went with my hormone cycle. Nothing nefarious, all sorted now!

I have suffered with anxiety in the past, again health related. I know this sounds flippant but what helped me is my mum saying to me that I was going to make my kids mentally unwell from my behaviour.
I managed to convince myself I had oesophageal cancer due to a lump in my throat and also HIV. Don’t ask 🤦‍♀️
I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t function, I could barely stand due to not being able to eat.
I couldn’t remember anything the children told me, I couldn’t listen or relate them as I was so preoccupied by my ‘illness.’
She literally told me to get a grip and I had a responsibility to them to be a good mum. That and a doctors appointment helped me.
I still sometimes feel the symptoms coming back but I put a lid on them by distracting myself with something.
I know it’s not easy and I’m not being flippant, you sound like you need mental health intervention, but sometimes someone just making you see this anxiety is more damaging than anything to your daughter may help you gain a sense of perspective.
FWIW muscle aches, period type pains, sever reflux, feeling like I couldn’t swallow, no appetite, exhaustion, not sleeping - all symptoms of my anxiety x

@INEEDAWEEAGAIN I've been through the exact same scenario and was terrified. I had a 3.5cm complex ovarian cyst and was put on a 2WW for an MRI. Mine was diagnosed as an endometrioma, confirmed by a later laparoscopy. I was 36, I was told by the Gynae surgeon I saw that it was beyond rare for it to be OC in your 30s

I also suffer from HA, it's debilitating and has ruined large chunks of my life. I've diagnosed myself with HIV, MS, MND and premature menopause but my biggest fear is cancer. I've diagnosed myself with Ovarian, Breast (x 3), bladder, throat, bowel, cervical as well as leukaemia and lymphoma. My latest is rectal, even though I had a colonoscopy in September and it was clear and I know I have piles which explains my symptoms!

SSRIs do help me, I'm on fluoxetine and when I take it regularly it makes a significant difference

Thank you @polkadotpixie . I’m glad it turned out to be good news. I hope I can get some answers on Wednesday and move on. The only reassuring thing right now is that OC is rare in 30s. I recognise I’m not in the best state of mind right now. I appreciate every single reply.

You’re really not alone in this crippling fear of cancer. Cancer is almost constantly in the public consciousness. My HA was triggered by a really, really dicey smear result. I’ve since diagnosed myself with everything going, but cancer is always the biggest fear. I’m have very cysty breasts and each time I find one, I have to have it investigated. It’s terrifying. But I’ve learnt some coping mechanisms over the years with CBT. And I’m much stronger now and I can prevent it ruining my life for the most part.

I’m really glad you have found a way to cope, a bit better it’s honestly debilitating. From the symptoms to the constant need for reassurance. I’m pissing off everyone around me & I can’t blame them. My biggest fear is leaving my daughter, it really triggers me. If I get the all clear I’m honestly done with it. It’s not going to keep doing this to me and my daughter. I’m ruining both of our lives and she doesn’t deserve that. I hate myself

The only good thing about health anxiety is you’re so aware of every ache, pain and differences in your body’s, you get them checked out asap.

You need a wee because you have health anxiety.

Go to your gp and get them to refer you so you know you’re fine. (if you believe what the drs tell you).

I had health anxiety and it’s awful. You have my sympathy on this mind and life controlling, thief and joy taking illness.