Page 3 | I’m so so frightened

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 2023-02-13T13:27:25+00:00

Posting for traffic I need some positive experiences if any.. I suffer with horrific health anxiety, I pay privately for therapy. All my life on and off I’ve had a weird pelvic pressure but it goes away the same day this time I got it and began panicking over it as it felt worse. Then the past week I’ve been needing to wee all the time. A weird feeling down below. I had some antibiotics but felt they wasn’t working. Saturday I stupidly booked an ultrasound to check everything was okay and they’ve found a cyst in my right ovarie and I have bulky ovaries. He said he can’t tell me if it’s cancer or not and I’m worried sick. I’m absolutely devastated I have a little girl and we are each other’s world. I can’t bear it, I feel like I’ve been handed my death sentence 😭😭😭😭

Littleloveydovey · 13/02/2023 21:25

LunaandJasper · 13/02/2023 20:56

I had a private scan when pregnant and they found a large cyst on my right ovary. They told me to ask at the nhs scan to check on it. After my 20 week scan they said it had not reduced in size and i’d need to return 5 weeks after birth to check it was gone. I often thought about it throughout the pregnancy. They never contacted me as they said they would and I was so worried I got in touch with my gp who referred me back for an ultrasound. The cyst was gone, they said my body had done its job and they often come and go throughout your life, only some women will get symptoms but this cyst was larger than they’d like to see them. I know you’re worried op but try and stay positive, it’s not worth worrying over something which may never happen.

How does this help the op whose issue is clearly mental illness.

exactly how? Do share. I’m sure you were not so utterly desperate to share your own story you thought fuck her. So how is this shit helping?

LittleGwyneth · 13/02/2023 21:40

If you've had the pelvic pressure for years then it's probably not going to be anything life threatening, because it would have got worse progressively. You're almost certainly fine. I get the anxiety though, it's awful x

Forfrigz · 13/02/2023 22:14

I have health anxiety too it's a nightmare so I sympathise. Please remember that the person who does the scan isn't allowed to say what it is even if they're sure as it needs to be written up and confirmed by a doctor. Honestly I've had so many panics over tests and scans and things. The worst thing for a person with health anxiety is to have something picked up on a test and then a delay in finding out exactly what it is. Honestly i had a brain scan that found lesions and I was convinced I had MS, had a break down, I had a rash which was confirmed as vasculitis and thought my kidneys were failing but they were fine, and perhaps most laughably I had a smear test followed by pain for a few days and of course I was convinced I had cervical cancer when it was completely fine. Health anxiety can take over your thoughts. I find managing it is easier if you tell yourself you've done all you can to help whatever it might be and once you've done what you can you must try to stop worrying as there's only so much you can do. It is hard though I know.

Frasa · 13/02/2023 22:24

OP I have awful health anxiety too. I worry about my health/cancer every single day.

I was in the exact same boat as you a few years ago. I noticed I felt the urge to wee but wasn’t passing any urine. I was massively bloated too. Tests showed I had a large ovarian cyst and I convinced myself that was it. It turned out to be a simple cyst. It got bigger and didn’t go away on its own so I had it removed as a day surgery.

I can’t say don’t worry cos you will and I still do about other things. I just wanted to let you know I had your exact symptoms and it was nothing sinister.

LunaandJasper · 14/02/2023 05:47

I didn’t think ‘fuck it’ I’m going to share my own story at all actually the op asked for positive experiences, so I shared my recent experience which did turn out positively. Also I too suffer with anxiety so completely understand how worrying it can be. Op think you just need to keep in mind that you’ve done the right thing getting a private scan, and it can be looked into further now.

Oddbutnotodd · 14/02/2023 05:57

Realistically you are going to worry whatever a load of strangers say to you.
Find a way to keep yourself busy and stop ruminating while you wait.

Longer term some talking therapy may help. Hope it works out ok for you.

LunaandJasper · 14/02/2023 06:03

Littleloveydovey · 13/02/2023 13:55

Gosh you poor thing, hypochondria is so hard to live with, and also very hard to treat, but I think it worth speaking to your doctor again to get help. For you and your child’s sake. Because what you have to accept is the cyst isn’t the issue, you are unwell, but with hypochondria

ovarian cysts are very common and most go away within a few months without treatment. As said, it’s the mental health you need to focus on.

How is it helping the op calling her a hypochondriac when realistically she’s doing the right thing getting checked out, as although rare these can be cancerous. at least I shared a positive experience. It is horrible having health anxiety but as other posters have said, it is worrying when something like this comes up.

ittakes2 · 14/02/2023 06:19

I have ocd and the constant feeling of need to wee is also a feeling of anxiety. The body gets a release / feels relaxed when weeing so it tries to do this more often but then you get into a habit and your bladder is not used to being full.
I had a chocolate cyst on my ovary was harmless and I had it for a few years before it went.

Kittylickingplate · 14/02/2023 06:24

mauvish · 13/02/2023 20:07

Ach, I'm really sorry about that. I know how horrible it is when you have worst-case scenarios running through your mind so I just thought it might be good to read that even worst-case scenarios aren't neccessarily all bad. Sorry once again.

Show quote history

What a kind person you are @mauvish
All the best OP.

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 08:11

Morning everyone, thank you for all the kind comments. I know that half the problem is my mental health, I’m not feeling all that great at the minute. It’s been spiralling for a few months now.

im 31 and I known ovarian cancer in your 30s is rare, but still I need the peace of mind and i pray I’m going to be okay.

also, I’m going to look at therapy that can help with CBT I think that’s the next route to go, and to start my sertraline again.

im a bit frightened right now so I do appreciate everyone’s kind words x

OP posts:

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 08:11

Kittylickingplate · 14/02/2023 06:24

What a kind person you are @mauvish
All the best OP.

Show quote history

I agree x

OP posts:

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 08:13

mauvish · 13/02/2023 20:07

Ach, I'm really sorry about that. I know how horrible it is when you have worst-case scenarios running through your mind so I just thought it might be good to read that even worst-case scenarios aren't neccessarily all bad. Sorry once again.

Show quote history

It’s not your fault, I know you was doing it out of kindness. It’s my own fault for being like this. Please don’t apologise, you sound truly lovely x

OP posts:

Mariposista · 14/02/2023 08:43

No she doesn’t, she sounds kind.
Can you imagine feeling as OP does each day? Analysing every twinge and feeling in her body and panicking. It must be hell and I doubt she has any quality of life. Of course her mental state needs to be addressed. She can’t go on like this forever, not just for her own sake - her anxiety will inevitably be projected onto her child.

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 10:05

Mariposista · 14/02/2023 08:43

No she doesn’t, she sounds kind.
Can you imagine feeling as OP does each day? Analysing every twinge and feeling in her body and panicking. It must be hell and I doubt she has any quality of life. Of course her mental state needs to be addressed. She can’t go on like this forever, not just for her own sake - her anxiety will inevitably be projected onto her child.

I worry about how this effects my daughter every single day, I’m tired of it. I’ve only been really suffering since 2021 and it’s debilitating. I thought I beat it during summer last year I was so happy, then winter hit and I spiralled again.

Every ache, pain, twinge MUST mean cancer and no one can tell me otherwise. How on earth will I go through life like this? I can’t take much more. I’m even panicking at even needing a wee right now.

Thank you for understanding

OP posts:

Mariposista · 14/02/2023 10:11

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 10:05

I worry about how this effects my daughter every single day, I’m tired of it. I’ve only been really suffering since 2021 and it’s debilitating. I thought I beat it during summer last year I was so happy, then winter hit and I spiralled again.

Every ache, pain, twinge MUST mean cancer and no one can tell me otherwise. How on earth will I go through life like this? I can’t take much more. I’m even panicking at even needing a wee right now.

Thank you for understanding

Show quote history

I have no expertise in this but out of curiosity, do you have any idea what happened in 2021 to trigger this off? The good news is that 2021 was just a short time ago. This hasn't been a lifelong issue so could take less 'unravelling'. You must get referred to a psychologist, that is what they do and they can help you.

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 16:59

Mariposista · 14/02/2023 10:11

I have no expertise in this but out of curiosity, do you have any idea what happened in 2021 to trigger this off? The good news is that 2021 was just a short time ago. This hasn't been a lifelong issue so could take less 'unravelling'. You must get referred to a psychologist, that is what they do and they can help you.

Show quote history

Yes of course, it was my first ever smear test, it was at that moment I realised I’m not invincible and I should of had one earlier, I convinced myself that it was going to come back with cancer. Something clicked in my brain and I’ve not been the same since

OP posts:

ironhelp · 14/02/2023 17:22

Hi OP

I too suffer with extreme health anxiety,especially around Cancer.

I just wanted to tell you that I have had CBT before and it worked really well. I did have to restart it recently after some health scares. It does take time but it is worth it.

I fully understand how every twinge feels like worst case scenario. How seeking reassurance on here/ google can feel like a lifeline, but one scary comment can make you 100 times worse.

Ovarian cysts/ problems are really common and there is so many things they can be before cancer. If they thought it was cancer they would of likely sent you immediately to have another type of test/ biopsy.
The people that Do the scans don't always know the diagnosis and they aren't allowed to tell you everything is fine in case it isn't.

I wish you all the best.x

Mariposista · 14/02/2023 17:34

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 14/02/2023 16:59

Yes of course, it was my first ever smear test, it was at that moment I realised I’m not invincible and I should of had one earlier, I convinced myself that it was going to come back with cancer. Something clicked in my brain and I’ve not been the same since

Show quote history

You poor thing, smear tests can be horrible experiences for a lot of women, even though you know that more often than not they will come back normal.
Please don't stop going for them - they are important.
It's great you know what your trigger is, now you can take that to a psychologist. Don't delay. You can be cured and you will. You can't carry on as you are, you and your kid deserve a better life than this.

twitterexile · 14/02/2023 17:56

Littleloveydovey · 13/02/2023 14:16

I think what concerns me is you write you booked an ultrasound like it was a totally normal thing to do. Which leads me to believe you get private testing done on the regular. It wouldn’t occur to me or anyone I know to book an ultra sound in this scenario, You also clearly have been to your doctor about it, as you are on anti biotics.

hypochondria/health anxiety can be linked to ocd. As said it is very hard for doctors to treat but it is treatable, and I really think worth a visit to discuss your mental health.

as the honest truth is ovarian cysts are very common. They mainly go away without treatment, and quickly, You may not even need the anti biotics you are on, as nothing is wrong with you. That’s why they are not working. So it is best to focus on the root cause of the issue, your mental health, and go from there.

Disagree completely. I have done the same thing and would do it again. Not sure why you think that this is some sort of weird abnormal thing to do.

MrsClatterbuck · 14/02/2023 18:15

Rebellious23 · 13/02/2023 13:48

I had exactly the same symptoms with a cyst
Scanned again 2 weeks later and the cyst had gone, all normal

I had similar. Consultant found a cyst on my ovary and I was scanned a month I think later. It had gone which I was told was normal. It can dissappear after a period.

SkyIsTheLimits · 14/02/2023 21:01

How old is your daughter Op?

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 15/02/2023 06:05

SkyIsTheLimits · 14/02/2023 21:01

How old is your daughter Op?

She’s only 5 x

OP posts:

rexythedinosaur · 15/02/2023 06:35

Ovarian cysts are extemely common, OP. More women have them than not.

Original poster

INEEDAWEEAGAIN · 15/02/2023 13:03

the hospital have just called me, my appointment is next Wednesday. I’m so so scared ☹️

the cyst is just over 2cm

OP posts:

TheWonderhorse · 15/02/2023 13:19

Breathe lovely. It's the not knowing that's hardest, but that's only a week away. The chances of it being anything sinister are very small. Just make sure you balance out your brain's tendency to catastrophise with some good solid stats.

Be kind to yourself in the meantime, and bear in mind that if your symptoms will get worse this week, it's stress doing that.