I’m so so frightened

[INEEDAWEEAGAIN]

Posting for traffic I need some positive experiences if any..

I suffer with horrific health anxiety, I pay privately for therapy. All my life on and off I’ve had a weird pelvic pressure but it goes away the same day this time I got it and began panicking over it as it felt worse. Then the past week I’ve been needing to wee all the time. A weird feeling down below. I had some antibiotics but felt they wasn’t working.

Saturday I stupidly booked an ultrasound to check everything was okay and they’ve found a cyst in my right ovarie and I have bulky ovaries. He said he can’t tell me if it’s cancer or not and I’m worried sick.

I’m absolutely devastated I have a little girl and we are each other’s world. I can’t bear it, I feel like I’ve been handed my death sentence 😭😭😭😭

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. That’s helped calmed me down, I feel like I’ve been getting worse with my symptoms and I’m not sure if it’s my brain or not! The more I think the more I need a wee? I have no idea. In my mind right now it’s bad news. But the GP said the other day she doesn’t think it’s anything sinister although she couldn’t read the ultrasound. Only the report he made. I hope next Wednesday I get the “all clear”. Is it true that the statistics are on my side?

i feel so drained right now, I’m ready to fight my mental health head on if I get the all clear. I’m done with it.

can’t thank each and every single one of you enough, for the support, kind messages and tough love.

OP - statistics speaking the chances of you getting cervical cancer are low to begin with and even and thats a big even you did have it, 60 women out of 100 go on to survive the 5 years after it(that basically means it doesn’t come back)

Odds are totally on your sides and personally speaking OP, my friend died of cervical cancer and looking back at the symptoms she went to the doctor with you’d probably know. She knew and was right.

Feeling so anxious and filled with dread. Catastrophizing more than ever right now 😭 just needed to right it down

Oh @INEEDAWEEAGAIN I know exactly how you feel, I honestly do, I've been there and still suffer now from health anxiety.

A couple of years ago I had a health scare like yourself and I had to have an urgent CT scan, for the week leading up I had every symptom goign, the Gp kept telling me the symptoms were anxiety and only looking back now, I know they were but at the time as I was waiting for This urgent scan I can honestly say it was the worse time of my life. I suffered from panic attacks, I cried constantly I couldn't function I got signed off work for 3 months. I had young children and was so worried.

2 weeks later I had my scan and everything was okay; I spoke with the consultant who reassured me but that event triggered health anxiety and although not as bad I still suffer. I found a health anxiety thread on here that really helped at the time.

Sending you lots of love ❤️ I know no matter what anyone says won't make you feel better but honestly it will get better xx

Statistics are well and truly on your side. The vast majority of women get ovarian cysts at some point in their life, indeed at some point in every menstrual cycle! Only a very small number get ovarian cancer. And 2cm is really small as cysts go.

Have you read up about luteal cysts? They are the normal cystic swellings that your ovaries produce after an egg is released. In some people they disappear quickly, in others they can take a few weeks to settle after the end of the cycle. A normal luteal cyst is 2-3 cm big but can be quite a big bigger. So yours is really, really likely to be something as simple as this.

(honest, I forget the exact measurements of my "cyst" but it was literally the size of a housebrick!)

I’ve had health anxiety, especially fixated with cancer. It’s truly horrible.

But remember this @INEEDAWEEAGAIN

Ovarian cancer is rare in itself. Only 24 women in 100,000 will be diagnosed with it currently. That’s actually fallen ever so slightly.

It is extremely rare in women your age.

It’s most common in women aged 75-79.

Ovarian cancer is one outcome. It’s a scary one. But there’s dozens of benign outcomes it can be that, and very likely is.

Now, I know these won’t help you now, but they’re true and your odds are very, very good that it isn’t cancer. Ovarian cysts are really common. So common. And they can cause us all sorts of bother while being entirely harmless.

Plus, speaking from experience, once you’ve latched onto a ‘symptom’, you will be hyperaware of it, and something like urination is totally exacerbated by anxiety.

They’re going to get you seen to, which is the right thing to do, but the odds are very much in your favour.

Thank you so so much for this.

i can’t begin to thank MN enough for you’re kindness.

just thank you. Really, thank you 🥹

I’m not sure if anyone is still about, but can someone help me calm down.

I’ve been having twinges all over my tummy and rib area for 2 days. My lower right back is tender to touch and Now I have shoulder twinges. I’m 100% convinced they are going to hand me my death sentence next week, I tried finding some reassurance on the internet and saw that not many women survive ovarian cancer. I feel broken 😢😢😢 please someone help me

Hello lovely, have you got anyone irl who can sit with you and talk this through?

The chances are these twinges are muscular and nothing to worry about, ime pains that are serious causes of concern are consistent and achey rather than sudden twinges.

I think it would be worth you ringing either your GP or the person you'll see for your appointment to see if they can reassure you or even fit you in earlier x

My daughters dad is collecting her then I’m going to my dads for the night, 😔 can’t stop the tears or the thoughts. What will my little girl do without me 💔 I’m just totally broken

You’re going to get through this and then after you’ve had the scans and results you’re going to ask for some medicine from the GP about this anxiety.

You deserve to feel well inside and out and not be this emotionally and mentally drained. You will be well

Thank you. 💔😢 x

@INEEDAWEEAGAIN - have you talked to your GP about the anxiety? Might be worth discussing if there are any meds which are suitable for you?

I totally agree with @Bunce1, you need to feel like yourself again, and I’m sure you will get there.

I want this more than ever. Im so so tired. I feel like I want to give up

I’m just starting sertraline, I’m going to look at private CBT. I think I’ve used the NHS enough 😢

Sending a handhold.

you are feeling very vulnerable right now.

ive had ovarian cysts for decades. None were cancerous.

i needed a hysterectomy bcos of fibroids, and the scan showed a ping pong ball sized cyst on one of my ovaries. So quite a bit bigger than yours. And they removed the cyst during the op. All was fine.

i have intrusive thoughts, and I find listening to audiobooks while out, doing housework, lying in bed waiting to go to sleep helps a lot with this - it keeps your mind concentrated. Maybe it would help you?

@INEEDAWEEAGAIN hope you're doing ok. Health anxiety is the worst, and you've had lots of great replies; it's a difficult cycle when it comes to health anxiety.
I've been through the awful cycles when it comes to health anxiety, and the extremely debilitating thoughts. Hope you manage to get the right help from your GP

Just a heads up, if you’ve just started Sertraline, bear in mind it takes a little while to feel the positive effects. It make even cause a few side effects at first such as nausea or various aches and pains. You don’t need to be worrying about those too - they’ll ease off soon.
Health anxiety is so stressful and you end up not knowing what is the original pain or that caused by the anxiety x

I’m starting it tomorrow, as I’ve just come off my antibiotics for this “water infection” which started this whole bloody thing. I took one the other night and was violently sick so tomorrow night is day 1.

yes been having sharp little twinges throughout my tummy all day and it’s sent me into a spiral. But isn’t it mad I’m not as focused on the need to urinate now. God I feel so so tired.

Ive got my massive oodie on, on my dads sofa watching only fools and horses. My heart hurts, all these intrusive thoughts are killing me. Already dreading waking up tomorrow 😢

Can I just thank you all for your kindness again, it’s brought me some comfort thank you x

I’m a CBT therapist @INEEDAWEEAGAIN so I am just going to give you a few pointers about seeking private CBT. It is helpful for anxiety in its various manifestations and has a large body of research backing up the treatment approaches. Whoever you choose please make sure they are BABCP accredited as this will mean they have post graduate training and many hours of supervision that is CBT focussed and ongoing training to reaccredit.

One source is the CBT register which has a geographical search and a search where you can check a therapist’s accreditation status. Psychology Today has listings but make sure the therapist is accredited by the BABCP (not the BACP which accredits counsellors). That’s not a criticism of counsellors but having CBT skills as many counsellors may have is not the same as specific training!

I hope you find some good support 💐babcp.com/About-the-CBT-Register

I’ve had a couple of major ovarian cysts in my life, none of which were cancerous. One was serious enough that it had killed one of my ovaries but I had that all removed very quickly and still went on to conceive naturally. I know it’s terrifying but cysts in general are a monthly part of your cycle. The cysts grow every month in every woman then 99% of the time they go away of their own accord. Very rarely, you get one that gets quite big and needs intervention to be removed. It’s not serious, but still scary while you’re going through it. It’s very unlikely to be cancerous but if it is then you were well in tune with your body and got seen by a doctor quickly. You’ve also been referred very fast. Your mind will soon be put at rest and you can move on. Good luck OP, virtual hand hold

Stay cosy. And this too shall pass.
The cysts, although troublesome, are not the problem here. It’s your HA that is causing your misery and you’re doing something about that by taking the tablets and looking into CBT.
You’ll be ok x

Just wanted to say that I’ve been in your place before and it’s hard work. Don’t think of ‘using the NHS enough’. It’s there to help you.

I had CBT through the NHS twice, most recently for HA and it’s changed my life. Honestly.

It was triggered by a letter after a smear test saying I had high grade cells and needed immediate treatment. It turned out that this was sent in error but I think, in my head, I started to irrationally think that it was a sign of what was to come.

My therapist went through something called ‘intolerance to uncertainty’ which is how I was justifying my constant googling because I felt like if I knew every outcome, I’d be able to cope - actually this was feeding the anxiety. Also explains my sudden fear of flying too.

I manage it much better now by not going on the Cancer Research forums (a biggie). If I feel an urge to google, I set a timer for 1 hour and if I want to look then I can then and 9/10, I don’t because the anxiety peak has passed. Putting the phone down is a big help when it all gets on top of you.

Also, medically found Propanolol helpful for the real panics.

It does get easier, with help. I hope you manage to relax over the weekend.