Life is too expensive and not enjoyable.

[buildingourdreams]

I am only 26 years old and I am tired

H and I both earn okay money both work ft and I sometimes do part time work too

We've 2 boys under 7 and After rent bills and food and petrol we have not a penny .
This is with our parents helping with childcare we don't even have to pay childcare for the boys thankfully 🙏

We Can't go on holiday. Can't even have a takeaway or my nails done

We rent and Can't save for a house to buy don't get any benefits other than the basic Cb about £200 month. (And I don't expect or want handouts anyway)

Is this our life now ? Don't tell me to get a better job as I might do as I get older but this is not the point I'm making . If someone works full time they should be able to afford a few treats in life and specially with 2 incomes!

I worry constantly that we are failing our kids and should I even have had them? And also Like, what will even become of people like us when we're old ?

You're not failing your kids. Your time is the most important thing to them.

Do you have the opportunity to progress in your jobs?

Yes I could and I hope I will

With what I do (hair dressing) I would like to set up on my own one day but that involves costs

I just despair at What world do we live in where a couple on a fair amount more than min wage each can't even afford a frickin take away pizza never mind ever own a house or have any kind of secure future 😢

Hi OP, same here, two full time incomes (joint income about 50k give or take) and two kids under 9. Feel like we live to work at the moment. After all bills and food paid for there’s barely anything left over.

its easy enough for people to say ‘get a better job’ but I barely have time to wash my hair never mind think about another job, like you will probably focus on this when the kids are a bit older. DP applied for a good job with a v good salary increase this week so really have my fingers crossed!

Don't vote Tory. Desperate times indeed.

its easy enough for people to say ‘get a better job’ but I barely have time to wash my hair never mind think about another job, like you will probably focus on this when the kids are a bit older. DP applied for a good job with a v good salary increase this week so really have my fingers crossed

Literally this ✔️✔️✔️✔️ @Tisfortired x

The years when your kids are young are always the toughest financially.
As a hairdresser, you have excellent future prospects.
My own hairdresser used to rent a chair in someone else’s salon - he now runs two salons of his own and owns two villas with pools in Florida. Where he is currently spending six weeks on holiday!
As a retired doctor, I never came anywhere near his earning potential.

I hope this is not an ignorant question but what would the opposite party do to make people like me / us lives better ? I do know Tories have been in a long time and I was a kid when they first came in so again I hope this is not stupid of me to ask but is it due to this why things are so bad ?

(I have voted twice since being 18 and I did not vote Tory btw )

Agreed. Dh has worked every single day for the past 3 weeks and I work 30 hours a week plus university. We’re lucky enough to have a housing association house but it’s still £800 a month. Ds still needs wraparound care too (extortionate at our school). We do have the odd take away etc but that’s it really. The food bill is what’s really getting us at the moment, I know we’re lucky that we can pay our bills etc but with the amount of hours we work we should be able to live a much more stress free life with the ability to save each month and afford unexpected expenditure. That’s still all a dream right now! Even once I finish my uni course my pay will only go up a small amount. I do know it’s the same for lots of people right now though, just annoying, and lots of it really is out of our control (price rises etc).

''I hope this is not an ignorant question but what would the opposite party do to make people like me / us lives better ?''

I despair when I read this after more than a decade of Tory mismanagement.

What would the opposite party do?

How about: fund the NHS correctly, renationalise utilities and the railways, stop demonising people on lower income/benefits and disabled, not try to push laws that restrict our freedom to strike and protest and generally actually lead the country rather than busy themselves with lining their pockets, making their rich mates richer and letting the rest of us struggle. Not to mention look seriously at the Brexit mess and consider another referendum to reverse it.

Have a look at your outgoings. You say you both earn ok money and get £200 CB a month so it should be a decent amount per month you have to play with. Outside of rent and food and energy what else is draining your income? Do you pay for 2 cars per month? Debts that could be consolidated? Cut back by shopping smarter/cheaper? Is your rent quite extorionate?

Sometimes sitting down and looking at it all shows just how much you waste or could be saving in areas. I say this as someone in the same boat as you and paying out a lot to stupid debts per month but still not in the situation where I can't afford a takeaway even with the ridiculous increase in energy prices. Something must be draining your incomes. Good luck sorting some shuffle room 🙂

That is great for your hair dresser and good for him (my boss earns well too judging by her house And car etc)

But my point is while I hope that I earn more one day and improve my life I just think that it is a shame that we have ALREADY improved our earning and we now earn decent money and yet still don't have a spare penny ?

Why is the answer always "earn more"? Not everyone can

Not having a go but just saying x

I do apologise for the ignorance 😳 I'm trying to learn x

Also I agree to all the above it all needs to change

but will that magically make food and fuel prices go down and wages go up and houses be more affordable ?

Well, you work 30 hours hardly full-time. You are making sacrifices because you are studying.

You’re complaining about not having enough money. There are only two answers to that: earn more or budget differently. I’m not sure what other magical answer you’re looking for people to give you.

There are several things going on here

For most people through most of history what you think of as necessary for enjoyment was never possible

Meals out ? Holidays ? Gosh the excitement of a colour tv ! I was in my teens before I experienced anything like that yet it was still as enjoyable as anyone else's life

You will probably live a much happier life if you can separate essentials and happiness from things that money can buy

However. Yes it is absurd that the population of one of the richest countries in the word is seeing their standard of living plummet. This country needs wealth redistribution and the tories willnever do that because they believe anyone who wants to succeed will.

Funnily enough wealth redistribution to a more equal society is also a happier society- people feel less happy when they compare themselves poorly against others - or in your case your past or where you expected to be

You're doing all the right things OP and I totally get why you feel fed up. Over time it will get better for you both as you progress in your careers but- (and this is indeed one of the results of 13 years of Tory misrule)- the country is now set up so that the money concentrates more and more at the top. Who owns property now, for instance? Mostly people over 40. I think the birthrate in this country will collapse in the next 10-20 years.

I also worry for my boys, who are nearer your age than mine. I don't want them burdened with me when I'm old and there is no healthcare and no pensions. I actually hope voluntary euthanasia will be available. And then I think how sad that I have to think like that. Ordinary people seem to have no value any more. It's all just about greedy accumulation for those who already have more than they need.

Labour are not exactly great but it isn't true when people say they are 'all the same'. A better Brexit deal under Labour will bring food prices down, I'm no great fan of Starmer but I don't think he will play silly buggers with the EU the way this lot are just to avoid tax on their billions and placate xenophobes. He also has far better environmental policies, and environmental destruction of the type the Tories like to inflict (purely for profit) will make, for instance, food even harder to grow here among other appalling outcomes.

I think you sound a very well organised and responsible person and don't let anyone tell you to 'stop moaning'. LIfe is being made harder and harder in this country and poverty is spreading upwards while the rich get richer.

This too shall pass. I promise.
When our eldest were small, 2 salaries equally 40k, no spare cash and I lived on jacket potatoes so the kids could have more.
We are further on now. It takes time but it will get better. Having kids takes cash. It's easier to not have kids, but too late now! I did. and it was hard. Sometimes I have regrets but it is what it is.

@Ducksinthebath

Yes agreed I am complaining about not having enough money and that is true - I don't

But my other major point l am trying (and
Maybe failing 🤦‍♀️) to make is the fact that everything costs far too much

It is shit, we need more houses and more public housing, more corporate tax, but after decades of under public spending it is going to cost a lot.

At the risk of being annoying you have youth on your side, you have time to build up a business. Just don’t have any more kids.

Having very young children is always hard financially, and you have made it harder on yourself by having them before you had any chance to build up a financial base. It doesn’t alter the fact wealth isn’t properly distributed in this country and housing is insane, but it will have made it tougher for you. On the plus side, it gives you extra time on the other side.

Did you vote for Brexit @buildingourdreams .

I do think your cynicism about the other political side is reasonable. They are all fucking dreadful frankly. But this is a self-made issue. The economy is now a standalone shit show. The rest of Europe while it's hard, has at least the support of each other- and I live in Europe I can see it makes a difference. For instance our child benefit went up this year to 250 euros per child. And a government subsidy for single parents of nearly 500 euros per child. This is unthinkable in the UK because they literally can't even pay enough to nurses or teachers to even do their jobs!

You have my sympathy. Life as a young family is harder than when I was young. We could live in one salary so no childcare and stressing about taking time off. Housing was far more affordable. If you had a reasonable job, you had a pretty good standard of living. Now you need to earn much more to service the housing and childcare. But I would take a look at who has been in power over the last 10 years.

Op I have a few comments for you.
Firstly you are only 26 and already with 2 kids under 7. You are very young, your earning potential is way off its peak and you’ve chosen to have children early.
These days people wait to be more financially stable (ie deposit for a house) before starting a family. That was your choice which is absolutely fair enough but you have to accept the reality of it.

secondly, I’m not sure what the obsession is with take aways in this country. I never have any, I do save towards having a meal out to celebrate special occasions (2,3 times a year). Cooking a lovely home made meal together with your kids is so much better. Check what you’re spending on, start budgeting, save towards what you want. I bet you have a budget for wine!

thirdly, your question on politics. I would say I am center right leaning on my ideas and therefore have voted Tory in the past. However, their view of trickle down economy is simply not working. It is all about rewarding the business owners and large corporations with the idea that they will in turn pay it forward by rewarding people down the ladder. They are selling off public services such as NHs to private companies, and guess what? Private companies don’t care one bit about people , they only care about generating growth for their shareholders, whatever that takes.
A change is needed away from the greed and corruption this party has normalised.

I voted remain

I didn’t say I work full time did I? 30 hours isn’t far off though and dh does around 48-56 hours a week so between us that’s more than two lots of full time hours.

As I said we are lucky we can afford all of our bills and a few extras but it really shouldn’t be so tight for two adults (+ 2 dc) working full time (between them 😉).

OP I think it’s obviously what you’re trying to say. Milk was £1.09 for four pints and now it’s £1.65. Yes it’s be same for everyone but also it’s shit. I know it’s harder for those on very low income and benefits but it’s also really hard for those of us who earn just above the threshold. Can’t wait for summer where everything always seems a bit easier.