Disagreement over glitter on toys

[Thatglitter]

I would like to know who IBU between DH and me. We have two little girls, 4 and 2.

For various reasons I thought yesterday that they deserved a treat. I took oldest to the toy shop and let her choose something for her and her sister. She saw a little fairy doll - her eyes lit up, you know the drill. So I bought one each for her and her sister. She was SO happy with it and she still is. Little sister loves hers too.

I did not inspect the material of the dolls' dresses before buying them. I hold my hands up to this. I wanted her to have something she really wanted - she isn't often taken to the toy shop to pick out something. This was my error.

So it turns out the overlayer of the fairies' dresses has annoying glitter that sheds. Both DH and I are tidy by nature but he can take it too far (I feel) and I have expressed concern in the past that I don't want the girls feeling on edge about creating mess or playing at home, in what I perceive to be a normal way. Put another way, I can tolerate more mess and am accepting of the need to tidy and clean up around young children. Housework is quite evenly split between DH and me with me doing more of the day to day and him doing a blitz over the weekend.

So DH has now had a low voice rant to me about the fairies and wants to cut their sparkly dresses off them. This would leave them with a cotton dress underneath but the sparkle is the main thing that makes them fairies, and the things both girls love about them.

I've said a flat out no so it's not happening. I've said I'm happy to have them as downstairs toys and when the novelty wears off them they could probably go on a shelf in each girl's bedroom.

DH is very concerned about air quality if that changes things. We have air purifiers in all bedrooms, he won't have a wood burner etc.

I'm feeling angry. I feel sad he can't turn a blind eye to the glitter when he sees the enjoyment the girls are getting. I do agree glitter is annoying but I feel he takes it to the extreme. He'll be tense now when they're playing with them and I feel like it sucks the joy out for us all. They won't play with them forever and they won't be little forever either.

YABU - get rid of the glitter

YANBU - keep the glitter

I mean fgs. Get a grip the pair of you.

I would hate this. I think you've really messed up by not noticing but it's done now and on balance it would do the most harm if the dresses were destroyed.
Why not try a squib of hairspray or even make up 'setter'

Really messed up?! It's just glitter ffs

Oh god. Let the girls take their dollies to bed for gods sake.

Stop pandering to your husband.

The dolls weren't what I was expecting ! I was visualising a hard doll wearing something very very glittery that my dd once had. They look very tame in comparison and hardly full of glitter.

Glitter is the herpes of the craft world - it can be impossible to get rid of - but he still sounds miserable as fuck.

He's completely right about the wood burners though. 5-10 years from now people will be ripping them out on air quality grounds.

Sorry, but I think the issue is with your DH and OCD (and I don't mean this in a flippant way as I suffer from forms of OCD myself). Don't let him cut the dresses off. If he can't cope with glitter in the house, the issue is his.

My Mum likes a spotless house, don't get me wrong we were allowed to make a mess but everything was put away when we were finished. I like a lived in house where ya can see a family and messy child live there, ya want yer kids to remberer the fun you has with them, they won't remember a messy house

Agreed, @lollipoprainbow - they look like beautiful, high quality toys. I was imagining some poundshop knockoff Elsa doll with glitter glue sprayed on it which came off with every movement! (And even then, so what - my kids loved those in their day!). A bizarrely extreme reaction from your DH; glad you’ve spoken to him about it.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

i do enjoy your posts! That wasn't where I thought you were going to suggest she put the cork!!

it made me laugh when you said you hadn't namechanged on the holey socks thread!!

@Thatglitter if he's that worried about inhaling micro plastics I suggest you put him in a hermetically sealed room!

I agree with this. The amount of glitter must be tiny ! Nothing like the amount that would inevitably come from making Christmas cards or something.
I try and be careful with glitter as I worry about micro plastics, so for play I bought eco glitter. A fairy doll though.. the glitter and sparkle are what makes the doll so enticing. As a child and still as an adult I love sparkle. I would have been so delighted with a fairy doll as little girl.
Your husband sounds really obsessive in that he can’t allow the joy of seeing a happy small child playing with a new toy, to makeup for a worry about “mess” , which in reality will be a minute amount of glitter .

I'm greatly amused at how many posters are saying "suck it up" as a solution to glitter

YANBU. I'm sure the girls aren't planning on eating the dresses! I expect they'd ingest far more microplastics drinking from a plastic bottle than what would shed accidently from the dolls onto their bed and accidently get swallowed or inhaled. From a mess POV, even if both dolls shed every speck of glitter onto the floor it's not going to amount to more than a teaspoons worth.

Hopefully he manages to get the help he needs to be less anxious.