to refuse to go on a business trip to Dubai

[ElizaDav]

I have been asked to provide my expertise on a product development project. Not part of my main responsibilities but an interesting opportunity and cool way to get more exposure in the organisation. Part of it will entail participation in a 4 day meeting with global colleagues on Dubai. Am an out and proud lesbian and definitely not a place I want to go to. Would it look bad if I refuse? Could I suggest they have the meeting in the UK (where we are HQed) or another country? I feel angry that i have been put in a position where i have to choose between career development and travelling to a homophobic and misogynistic country. Our organisation is always going on about diversity inclusion etc yet men making decisions that we should all meet in Dubai just smacks of institutional homophobia and misogyny. Arrghhh...

That’s not wholly true. Visit a government agency (for work or life admin) and you risk being turned away if your shoulders and knees aren’t covered. (They have a stock of abayas on the door for this reason.) I work with lots of government entities and would also be turned away by security if I wasn’t (relatively) conservatively dressed. It’s not policing you in the streets, but it’s also not a free for all.

Look OP, if you don’t want to visit the UAE, don’t go. You’d be absolutely fine for a short trip, providing you don’t have sex on a public beach or similar. There are legitimate criticisms to be made of the ruling family, laws and human rights record - this is also something you can say for any other country in the world.

I do believe criticism from the west can be rooted in racism and Islamaphobia - with an unwillingness to take responsibility from the unbelievably destabilizing effect it has had, and continues to have, in the region - but anyone who has lived in the UAE long enough will tell you, it’s fine until it’s not. If you find yourself on the wrong side of the red lines, inadvertently or because you made bad choices, it is not a good place to be. People who claim otherwise are naive or live in something of an expat bubble.

Very valid and fair post. OP the decision is yours at the end of the day.

Visit a government agency (for work or life admin) and you risk being turned away if your shoulders and knees aren’t covered.

Generally people don't go to their work with knees and shoulders out anyway.

👏 👏
the Islamophobia proudly displayed is so disappointing. Most countries that follow Islam have laws against homosexuality because the religion forbids it. They are also modest countries where PDAs are not allowed. So what? Better to have beaches littered with couples shagging than like the Costa or other European liberal countries?

Many Islamic countries are finding ways to move away from a strictly religious interpretation and become more liberalised. Lumping countries together is xenophobic….Dubai is becoming more liberal every year. And If you think that visitors to the UK aren’t sometimes arrested for no apparent reason or on a technicality then you are naive as fuck.

BellePeppa
I can’t speak for that poster but I can tell you why I ‘love’ it….. I have been to Dubai many times to visit schools (local ones not international ones) and I love it because they are properly funded and equipped. Students are well behaved, work hard and teachers respected. I was embarrassed quite frankly at the comparison.

You might well go to the equivalent of the post or passport offices in a sleeveless or on-the-knee dress though. You’d be asked to cover here.

It's not islamaphobic for a gay person to not want to go somewhere homosexuality is illegal.

Oh so @GnusSitOnCanoes - I misunderstood. It's the same in shopping centres too, isn't it?

As a femme I would probably go, but I would complain to HR, as they shouldn’t be unthinkingly putting LGBT staff in this position. If I was more butch presenting, I probably would pass on the opportunity. Feminine presenting gay men have run into trouble there and I imagine butch lesbians might too.

Theoretically, yes. There are signs on the mall doors but people don’t always pay attention. I have to say - I see a lot more women in arse-baring hot pants these days in malls. Even in Ramadan. It’s possibly a security guard might talk to you, but it’s incredibly unlikely.

I worry sometimes about what it must mean to a conservative Emirati - in a country where citizens are outnumbered 5 to 1 by expats - to have to navigate the kind of pace of change here.

Yep, and this particular gay person was brought up in a multi faith household, one of those being Islam.

Sorry @GoodChat ! Post above is in reply but I forgot to tag you.

I'm a gay woman and if required to go to Dubai for business, I would. You don't need to shout about being gay while there, though nor do you need to lie about it.

I wouldn't choose to go there on a holiday with DW.

If you start "taking a stand" about things like this, where does it end? You could refuse to go on a trip to China because you don't agree with their position on human rights. Etc. All very admirable as a personal position but the workplace isn't a place for political statements, unless of course it's your own company and you call the shots.

Does your organisation have an EDI champion or rep who could help you with this?

I'd ignore the stupid advice from the poster up thread who says go and be proud etc, they've evidently little if any knowledge of that part of the world.

I wouldn't want to go to Dubai either, thanks. And I dress conservatively (with a very small c) for the west...Outwardly at work I dress like everyone's idea of a sweet 1950s granny (mainly because it amuses me when people find out my actual views and situation in life).

Definitely document everything as well just in case you end up having to go down an equal opps/protected characteristic route on this at any future point. Good luck, hope you get a decent response from your company.

How is advising her to go and do her presentation in Dubai to show how great at her job she is, going to get her jailed and lashed? 🤔

To be honest, if it's four days, I'd go. You're going to be in a business/expat bubble, and you'll get to experience what the reality is for you working there. If you find that you are made uncomfortable, then you have reason to come back and say that you're not willing to attend any other meetings there.

At the moment you'd only be kicking off based on hearsay and 'things you've read'. You're far more likely to be heard if you showed willing but came away with real concerns. Also that way you get your career enhancing role in this project.

I honestly think you'll be fine. There's a lot of speculation and drama going on in this thread, and I suspect that there little real experience or facts behind many of those posts.

Homosexuality is illegal in Dubai. That’s a fact.

Your company cannot guarantee or secure your safety there. As you're out they should have a risk assessment for placing employees, taking everything about that employee into account.

She is going on business. She is not going to be indulging in homosexual acts in public.

Being gay is not illegal. There are gay clubs there. Homosexual acts are illegal, but they would need to be witnessed for anyone to be tried for them. Unless OP going to look for a sexual partner there and have sex in her hotel bar, I maintain that she has no cause for concern.

Fuck no and bad advice!
You don’t go to a country where being gay is illegal and do your best to get arrested.
@ElizaDav i would say to work that you don’t feel safe as a lesbian travelling there

For the people on this thread who regard not going as Islamophobic, I am sure were it a country in Africa or the West Indies where homosexuality is illegal, the same suggestion not to go would be made.

OP, I live in Dubai and have a large circle of LGB friends. There is a huge scene here! Lesbian friends date openly and without fear, and it’s not an issue to live together. I went to an engagement dinner for 2 recently engaged ladies from work just before Christmas - at a nice restaurant with balloons and a custom “Congratulations Sarah and Kate” cake.

In over a decade, I’ve never once heard of anyone arrested, let alone charged, for being gay. If you were making out in public, you will be asked to move on, but so would a straight couple. A gay marriage wouldn’t be recognized here, as in many other regions, but I think that’s about it?

Tell work you don’t want to go if you don’t want to go, but be aware that you have a hysterical and false idea of how residents here live.

This thread is surely a joke. No one will be arrested for going on a work trip to Dubai for 4 days. Its utter nonsense. I think half the people commenting are just getting their information from the Daily Mail. 🤣 The authorities will not hunt you down and jail you for being gay. Honestly op you do sound like a pain in the arse. I'm not sure proving a point is the best thing to do when it involves your career. They really won't give a shit who you share bed with.

I wouldn’t go because of its wealth and infrastructure being built on the exploitation of poor workers from SE Asia. Stick to your guns and refuse.

Ditto. It appears all the sports washing etc that the Middle East has been doing has worked a treat.

Your experience is 15 years out of date though, for a region that has developed remarkably fast. I’d say it’s now invalid as it was so long ago.