People who have no social media

[Isbemorelikemeandbelesslikeyou]

I find it intriguing.

Just started working for someone new, was having a nosey looking for them on social media. The man isn’t on it at all, can’t be found, zero when typed into Google, the woman has a Fb profile that looks like from a long time ago, with 29 friends…that’s it, nothing else.
Does anyone find that unusual, or if you’re like this, why?
They are youngish, late 30’s, professional, good looking etc..these type of people usually have the lot on Sm.

I just find it intriguing

If you search for me on social media, by my name, you won't find me. I have and use Twitter and Instagram, and have a facebook I never use, but none of them have my name.

Mumsnet and other similar platforms were invented long before social media like FB and were/are called forums ( or fora!)

MN is social media. I'll grant you it's anonymous (enough), but it's still a SM presence (of sorts).

The people I know who refuse to have a public SM profile are mostly ... complete & utter snobs about it. They've never been on Facebook, they just "know" that it's terrible. I can only think they would end up customising their Facebook profile to be exactly the Hell they are find deplorable, so fair enough, they should avoid.

I didn't think Facebook let people use fake names now, thought you had to register in a real name, not a made up rubbish anon name. Twitter & Instagram still have truly anon accounts... some of which are tweeting away misinformation & packs of lies. But of course that never happens on MN.

Some people just choose not to be. I have a llinkedin profile but that's about it and that is very similar for everyone of all ages in the family. Some of us might have a very old facebook page whichi s not used. I think the younger ones have snap chat or whatever it is called (and certainly linked in). I don;'t use twitter even. Other people want a lot of stuff online and that is their right. Others would not even post anonymously on MN which obviously I do do.

However I would never say facebook is terrible. It is just not for me.

No, some people just have very different life/family circumstances to yours. I am an adopter to two children, one of whose birth families is regarded as extremely dangerous. I don’t have a presence as I don’t want my children and I to be traced. There’s nothing ‘snobby’ about it at all; for us, it’s about preservation.

My initial thought was lucky them, they’ve had the good sense to avoid it and are probably much happier for it

The thing that I don't understand is why you ever chose to have toxic, negative, and unhelpful people on your social media, or people with whom you sit arguing with other people for hours at a time

I only have people I like on my Facebook.
You do realise you can choose who you have as friends ? That you don't need to have people as FB friends who are not good for your mental health.

I don't have much social media presence any more, I deleted facebook a few years back and I'm much happier for it.
Natural pauses in my day, like waiting for a bus or taking a 5 min break are now my time to think about my life as opposed to mindlessly scrolling ads and photos of other people's lives, real or fake. It was that mindless, repetitive nature of facebook that used to leave me feeling irritated and empty rather than enriched.
I now spend that down time searching through actual news (not facebook news tailored for me by faulty algorithms) or searching for fun things to do that I know I'm interested in. My focus has shifted and I feel very much happier for it.

I use a nickname on any SM. If you googled my name you'd find an old MySpace account that won't load and a fb page i stopped using in 2010. I'm older though. I know a few people you get who have never used those platforms and who have nicknames on their insta

@Saltywalruss - a person after my own heart just for using the word 'fora'!

No social media here. Never have had any ever. I just didn’t join when they came out. Complete waste of time and makes you a product to be exploited.

MN is social media. I'll grant you it's anonymous (enough), but it's still a SM presence (of sorts).

Nah, not really. It’s an old school forum which predates SM. It’s not SM in the sense that you socialise with friends or get to know anyone socially.

EmmatheStageRat, what will you do when your kids ask for their own social media accounts? If as adults they make decisions to have their own SM accounts, will you get on same SM networks to keep in touch, see what they are up to, what their skiiing holiday was like, that restaurant was like, pics of their kids having fun at parties, etc.?

The SM snobs I know believe either #1 that social media (esp. Facebook) is a giant bragfest of vain people they would despair of (because you can't be happy that people you know are having a nice time ), or that #2 SM is full of evil scammers trying to steal your money constantly, and crazy/violent bigoted conspiracy theorists, either way, all crazy predators. I also knew a quasi spook, having done national security work he wanted zero pictures of himself anywhere online.. but actually he has a dozen bio profiles online, just no pics on these pages. So no SM, but lots of info about his biography easy to find. I think he stands out, attracts attention, by not having a single picture on any of these biographies.

At work we are supposed to use social media to raise profile of certain events. Fine. I have to repeatedly explain to colleagues that my Facebook is just my friends & family, it's not professional. They aren't on FBk so don't understand it's not like LinkedIn. LinkedIn is of course, just another form of SM, like reddit, like MN. I don't understand people calling WhatsApp SM, though. Unless we are now calling email lists SM too.

Joshitai, do you really think UseNet wasn't social media? Just because we didn't have the term in 1980s, doesn't mean Usenet & bulletin boards weren't SM. It's like saying no Pescatarians existed before 1993 because the term wasn't invented yet.

Yes, it was not SM. At the rate you’re broadening the definition, email is going to be SM too in a minute.

the 1st time I heard the phrase "social media" I thought "that's MN".

Actually... emails were used as SM quite a lot in 80s & 90s! ListServs, I mean. We had large group email lists where ppl would hit Reply All to get into long discussions. it was Mass collaboration for sure.

Similarly You also can't argue that Usenet wasn't social media because it existed before the phrase SM was invented.

What are MN campaigns if not "mass collaboration" potential?

A lot of MNers focus on whether real identity is used whether to call MN social media. When SofiaAmes posts on MN: is SHE using MN as social media? That's her real name, she posts her real info here. And gets communication back.

When DevonNunesCow posts on Twitter: is that NOT using Twitter as social media, because DNC is anonymous, we don't know anything about who DNC is. Many bots on Twitter would not be using Twitter as SM too, then. If 'anonymity' of the poster is supposed to be the defining trait.

If MNers meet up in person (does MN still have a MeetUps board?) are they then using MN as SM, even if most of us never attend a MeetUp?

So maybe there is a middle ground, where it depends how you use the technology. If your WhatsApp is a giant group of many dozens of people that is used for mass collaboration, then that WhatsApp group is social media. If your WhatsApp group is just for 6 occupants in your building , that's no definition of "mass", it isn't social media in how you use that WhatsApp group. I want to say ditto MN but actually... who only comes on here to say something & not interact with the responses: even the bot posters interact with responses. Which have the "potential" to be massive. So... MN fora are social media. Deffo.

Definitions are never very easy in this area. I think the main issue being discussed here is how much personal information people want to put out there. I was happy even back in the 1980sand 90s to have some newspaper articles and Radio 4 interviews about me and my family in contexts such as you can be a full time working mother with children etc. Other people you look them up and there is nothing. So I am certainly not against those who want things public putting it out there. Everyone differs on these things.

I don't think it is really a class issue particularly although there may be some social media that is trendy and others not in different groups of people over the decades.

The reason our family is on LinkedIn is for getting jobs. People like to look you up on there.

Not surprising at all. People are entitled to their privacy and I'm glad to know that younger people are twigging it's a bad idea to hang all your washing out for nosey people to study. It's just an invitation to stalkers et al. Close your curtains.

They are opting out of society, this is their choice and becoming increasingly common

I have a facebook profile I use for this - but that is all - I am not "friends" with anyone on FB.

How do you work that one out -that they are “opting out of society”? I’d suggest it’s perhaps the other way round- the more on social media you are, the more you have opted out of society.

I'm an active user on FB but if you searched my name in Google it wont show. There are privacy options on FB to make it so you can't be found on search engines.

How does it work connecting on Facebook if you both have very hidden accounts? I wondered that. StepSist (JoSmith): I couldn't find her on FBk, she's pretty much invisible, impossible to find. She had to find me to send a friend request. Because I am easily found. How could we ever connect if we were both highly hidden?

I've sometimes wondered that. It's handy to chat to her on FBk Messenger since she's in another country & we have mutual interests in our parents' marriage.

You'd give your profile URL to each other and briefly change your settings so you can add someone who's not a friend of friend.

Oh I'm an idiot, you mean if you don't ha e another way to contact? That's the risk you take with a fake name, no one will find you.